


The normal and not so normal lives of the Winchesters

by Hudstrige1



Category: Pretty Little Liars, Supernatural
Genre: AU, Crack, Other, PLL, Parody, SPN - Freeform, Sam is fourteen, Spoof, Teen Dean, Teen Sam, Teenchester
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-24
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-02-26 21:47:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 54,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2667506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hudstrige1/pseuds/Hudstrige1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Winchester family faces crazy adventures, along with the girls from Pretty Little Liars.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

PART 1: THE WEDDING  
"Boys! Come on out!" Mary yells to her sons, who are behind the door. The boys opened the door and slowly walked out in their tuxedos, Sam in Deans hand me down jacket. "Why. Must I wear Deans hand me down jacket?!" Sam asked, annoyed, spreading his arms out. "Because, Sam" Mary slowly explains. "We just couldn't afford jackets." John then walked into the room, in his tux, with his new jacket they had just bought, eating a donut. "Well how come Dean and Dad have new jackets?!" Sam asks, pointing to them. Mary purposely ignored him, turning to John. "John, must you eat a donut wearing a tuxedo?" She asks, growing stressed. "This donut's not wearing a tuxedo" he joked, holding it out. Sam and Dean laughed, but Mary rolled her eyes. "Very funny. Just don't get a stain on it, alright?" She turns back to the boys. "Oh, you two look so cute!" She squeals, folding her hands together. The boys roll their eyes. "Oh, let me get a picture!" She smiles, pulling out her Polaroid camera out of nowhere. "Mom, no-!" Dean started to say as Sam covered his face when the click sounded and the big flash was blinding their eyes. The picture came out, Mary snatching it and looking at it. "Oh, I just can't wait until it fades in" she smiles. "Mom, why do we even have to go to Aunt Carol's wedding any way?" Dean asked. "Yeah she's like eighty-nine years old!" Sam adds. "She's only sixty three, boys"  
Mary says, seriously, pointing at them. "Well she's still OLD!" Sam says. "Yeah! That's older than you guys!" Dean says, pointing to his parents. "That IS older than you guys, right...?" He asks. After Mary and John had glared at him and Sam had snickered, Mary said "Well we must get going. John finish your donut and let's get in the car. Where's Krissy." "Okay" John says. "I'll go start to car up, and you go finish brushing your hair." Mary then glared at him. "I HAVE finished brushing my hair..." She says. The boys try their hardest not to laugh, and John just stuffs the rest of his donut in his mouth and runs away. "Bring me back a donut!" Dean calls out.  
"And the only reason I'm saying that is because I finished the pie!"  
"Again, Dean?" Mary asks.  
"Hey! It's not like I'm gonna eat the whole wedding cake!" Dean protests. "You probably will" Sam murmurs.  
"Okay that may be true..." Dean trails off, pointing at him. John comes back in with another donut, a bite taken out of it. "You get me something?" Dean asks. "Uh yeah here" John says, giving him the donut. "Ew. Gross" Dean says. "What?" John asks. "I'm not gonna have a piece of food with your freakish DNA on it." John started to say something, when "KRISSY!!!!!!" Mary shouts, up to the staircase. "WE GOTTA GO!!! YOU BETTER BE IN YOUR DRESS!"  
"I don't see why we have to go to stupid Aunt Carol's wedding any way" she says, walking down the stairs in high heels and a light purple dress, stopping on the last step. "She's like a hundred and four, any way" she finishes. Her brothers scoff. "Oh, you look so beautiful!" Mary squeals. Krissy rolls her eyes. "Oh, let me take a picture! Stay there!"  
"Mom, no-!"  
Snap.  
Flash.  
The flash was so bright, in fact, that it had Krissy falling backwards. She yelps out as her family gasps. Mary got a picture of her falling over, too. "Boys go help your sister up" Mary demands. The boys sigh, and help her up. "Don't touch me!" Krissy yells, as they stand her up and she walks off the last step. They get scared and obey, backing up. John speaks up.  
"Oh well. Let's go."

"Moooooom!" Krissy whines in the car, Mary driving, John in the passenger's seat eating the donut he had tried to give to Dean, Sam and Dean in the backseat, Krissy in the middle of them. "Sam keeps pinching me!"  
"I am NOT!" Sam protests, growing annoyed. "Then how come I keep getting pinched?" Krissy asks, purposely curiously. "Well it ain't me" Dean says, who's on his phone. "I'm on Facebook."  
"BECAUSE YOU'RE PINCHING YOURSELF, IDIOT!" Sam yells to Krissy. "Sammy don't call your sister an idiot!" Mary yells. "WILL YOU GUYS BE QUIET I AM TRYING TO STALK LISA BRAEDEN'S PROFILE!" Dean yells. "Uh isn't she pregnant?" Sam asks, frowning, turning to him.  
"Yeah, but it's not like she's fat yet."  
John starts to rapidly honk the horn at some car that won't go in front of him, when Mary yells "COOL IT WITH THE HORN JOHN!"  
"Well, sor-ry!" John says all sass like. "Those bastards!" He says in a Jersey accent. "Language, Johnny!" Mary yells back. "I TOLD YOU TO NEVER CALL ME JOHNNY!" He shouts, growing enraged, making everyone flinch. "Well now you guys know how 'I' feel!" Sam yells. "No one cares, Sammy!" Dean says.  
"SEE?!"  
"THAT IS ENOUGHHHHHHH!!!!!" Mary yells in a deep menacing voice, making everyone go silent. "NOW IF I HEAR ONE MORE WORD OUT OF ANY OF YOU, I WILL TURN THIS CAR AROUND AND WE ARE DITCHING THIS WEDDING! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?!"  
"Uh, yeah, actually" the siblings all started to say, continuing to murmur in the backseat when Mary shouted "ENOUGH!!!!" In the same voice. That shut everyone up.  
"That's what I thought...!"  
And then, JOHN started to choke on his donut. Everyone gasped. "Oh my God he's choking!" Krissy says dramatically, pointing to him. Mary started to steer the wheel with her foot, sort of scaring the kids. She then started to pull John back, and fling him forward, causing the donut to fly out, landing on the floor. "Mom! Look out!" Krissy screamed, pointing to a deer running across the road. Mary looked forward as they all screamed, and hit the deer. Mary slammed on the breaks.  
"Oh my baby!" John cries, as they had all rushed out of the car. "John, I'm fine" Mary says crossing her arms. "Not YOU! I was talking about the CAR!" He said, pushing her out of the way, running over to the hood. "What about the DEER?!" Krissy asks. "Relax! The cars's fine!" John reassures. "Dad, we were talking about the DEER" Dean says glumly. "Oh... Well we'll just tie it to the roof! There's some rope in the trunk!"  
"Dad, I don't think that's very smart-" Sam starts to say when "WE ARE DOING IT!" John shouts, making everyone flinch.  
After they had tied the deer to the roof, they had drove the rest of the way to the chapel in silence.  
They were all arguing about God knows what, as they entered the building, all looking at each other, when Johns sister Carol saw them and smiled "Why hi!" Which caused the family to look over and instantly fake a good mood. "Heyyy!" They all smile, hugging her.  
Sam: "Congratulations!"  
Mary: "We are so happy for you!"  
John: "So amazing!"  
Krissy: "Hiiiii!"  
Dean: "Will there be cake?"  
After the ceremony, they were all at the reception. "C'mon, guys!" Mary smiled to her family. "Dance!" She then starts to wiggle her body and snap her fingers. "Mom you are embarrassing us" Dean states as Sam nods. "I'll be getting another donut" John states glumly, walking away. "I don't think they have donuts here!" Sam calls out.  
"Well I'll find some!" John calls back.  
"I'll be somewhere else" Krissy states in a glum tone, walking away. "Oh, there's Karen Singer!" Mary smiles, looking over at her. "I'm gonna go say hi." She makes her way over to her.  
"I'd rather be in jail than here" Dean states miserably to his brother. "I know" Sam says back. Dean slowly sighs. "Well... I'm gonna go hook up with some random chick. See ya!" He starts to walk away when "Wait!" Sam calls out, pulling him back.  
"What?!"  
"Oh my God."  
"What, Sam?" Dean's getting annoyed.  
"Look!" Sam said, pointing over to the certain girl. "There's Spencer Hastings." Dean gasps. "Is her sister here?"  
"That's not the point!"  
"Well ask her to dance!" Dean says, gesturing his hand out.  
"It's not that easy, Dean. I've been crushing on Spencer for almost a year now."  
"Exactly! So now it's time to make your move! GO!" Dean says, pushing him over. He hasn't seen Spencer since school had ended last month. "Hey Spencer" he says. She turns around. "Oh! Hey Sam!" She smiles. "How's your summer going?" "It's going good!" He says. "Thanks. So, do you know my aunts now-husband?" She asks. "Rich? Yeah! My parents are good friends with him." "Oh well Carol's my aunt" he explains. "Oh really? She seems nice." "Yeah not really" he wanted to say. And before he knew it he was getting flung at with a biscuit. "Owe!" He says, looking over and frowning. "Dean" he grumbled. He stomped over, to Dean who was trying to act natural. "Yes, Dean?" He asks, annoyed. "Ask her if Melissa is here."  
"Is that ALL you care about?!"  
"Yes. And ask WHERE she is, too."  
"You cheated on her last year!"  
"Well, I'm DEAN. The girls ALWAYS come back for me."  
Sam thought for a moment. "True. I'll ask."  
He made his way back to Spencer. "Uh, just out of curiosity," he said, Spencer looking at him. "Is your sister here?" He looked back at Dean who was watching, who smiled and gave a thumbs up. "Oh! Yeah!" Spencer says, Sam looking back at her. "She's probably somewhere here on the dance floor. She came here with her new boyfriend. Ian." Sam then froze, getting a mischievous smile. "Melissa is definitely here and he she is totally single" Sam lied, after he had walked back over to Dean. "Sweet! Thanks bro. Good luck with Spencer. And if you want to hook up-choose the coats closet. But I'll probably beat ya to it" Dean says before chuckling and winking.  
"Dean, I'm fourteen."  
"Sam, I lost my virginity when I was eleven. Get over it" Dean responds glumly, before walking away.  
"So what are your plans for the rest of the summer?" Sam asks Spencer moments later, trying to make small talk. "Oh well next month I'm going back to Harrisburg to visit some family. How about you?"  
"Oh uh I-I'm probably just gonna-" Sam starts to say, trying to think of something interesting to say, when "OH MY GOD. SAM?!" He hears a familiar voice say, to his horror. He freezes, his eyes widening. He slowly turns around. And there was Aria Montgomery, in a dark red dress. Aria had been following Sam around since the beginning of last year, the same time he had started to like Spencer. Aria didn't have a crush on him or anything like that, she was just very, very attached. The last time they had saw each other was when she had spotted him at the grocery store last week and had attacked him, knocking down the pyramid of oranges. His mouth dropped open. "SAAAAAAMMMM" she smiled, as she ran over to him, and attacking him on the floor as he screamed. "Oh, I haven't seen you in so long!" She smiles, as he stood up. "You just saw me last week."  
"Well to me that's a long time. Hey Spencer'" she then smiles, just noticing her. "Hey Aria!" "Uh Aria one question, what are you doing here?" Sam asks, gritting his teeth. "Oh! Your brother invited me. Isn't that great?!" She smiles. Sam's silent. He just blinks. "Yeah..."  
"He invited Hanna and Emily too! Guys c'mere!" She yells out to them. Hanna walks over, munching on a chocolate bar. "Oh hey guys" she says, a mouthful of chocolate. "Hey Hanna!" Spencer smiles. "Where's Emily?"  
"Uh, I'm sorry, ma'am. But we cannot find the song 'if you're gay then you're gay' in our playlist" the DJ is telling Emily, her standing at his mixer. "I don't really think it is an appropriate song for this event, either."  
"Screw you" Emily grumbles, walking over to Sam, Spencer, Aria and Hanna. "Hey Emily!" Spencer happily greets, as Sam smiles and waves, happy to see her. "So misunderstood" is all she murmurs, pushing past them. They all looked over as she walked out of sight. "What's up with her?" Spencer asks, confused. "No one knows" Hanna states. "So where's Allison?" Sam asks, talking about the girls other friend. "She's at summer camp" Aria states. "But she'll be back next week. But I think her brother Jason is here getting drunk somewhere." Sam nods. "Figures" he murmurs. "So Sam how's YOUR brother?" Aria asks, looking at him. "Oh! Dean? Yeah he-he's fine..." Is all he says, not really wanting to talk about him. "Wasn't he the guy that cheated on my sister last year?" Spencer asks, looking at him.  
"No..."  
Aria looks over. "O-M-G!" She squeals in shock. "What?" The others ask. "Dean's making out with Mona Vanderwal!" She said, talking about some girl that was in their class last year. "And...?" Sam asks, gesturing his hand, not really seeing the problem. "Mona is my little brother Mikes girlfriend!"  
"Uh, isn't Mike, like, in the sixth grade...?" Spencer awkwardly asks.  
"Well he's GONNA be..."  
Mike then walked up to Sam, pointing a finger at him. Sam had to look down at him. "All you Winchesters" he grumbles, before stomping out. They're all silent. "Uhhh..." Aria says. "He'll be fine..."  
"GAHHHHHH!" They heard Mikes faded voice say outside, along with the sound of something breaking. "I'll go check on him" she instantly says, walking out of the room. "I'm gonna go find some donuts" Hanna states, walking away. "Hanna! I don't think they have donuts here!" Spencer calls out.  
"Well I'll find some!" She calls back.  
It's then awkwardly silent between Sam and Spencer. "So uh have you been hanging out with them a lot?" Sam asks her, talking about the other girls. "The girls? Oh! Yeah! Definitely..."  
It's silent again. "Oh wait" she then says. "I totally forgot about your sister! What's her name again? Krissy?" Sam's about to respond when "SAAAAAMMMMM!!!!!" Krissy shouts, stomping her way over to him, making him and Spencer flinch. "Yeah she's wonderful" Sam says sarcastically, making Spencer laugh. "What?" Sam asks, irritated, once he sees Krissy. "I'm pretty sure one of your FRIENDS, is trying to hit on me!" She yells. "Which one?"  
"Krissy! Wait!" Emily screams, starting to run after her. She then trips and falls. "Emily, my sister's not interested..." Is all Sam awkwardly says once she had gotten up and ran over to them. "Should I try hook you up with Dean?" He asks.  
"No I'm fine" she calls out.  
"Man, she really IS gay" Sam murmurs as Spencer raises her eyebrows and nods. "Whatever" Krissy says. "And mom's looking for you, by the way" she says before walking away. Sam freezes. "Uh would you like to get out of here?" Spencer asks, snapping him out of his thoughts.  
"Hm?"  
"Like would you want to go outside or something, just for a little?" Spencer asks. Sam's eyes widen. "Oh! Uh-Y-yeah-yeah!" Is all he says. He hears a familiar gasp. "Sammy!" Mary smiles, running up to him. Sam clenches his eyes closed and opens them again. Mary is holding a giant fruit basket. "Look! Karen Singer gave us a giant fruit basket!" She smiles. "Uh mom that's great but-" Sam starts to say when- "Oh! Why who's this?" Mary asks, noticing Spencer. Sam's heart speeds up. "Oh! Mom, this is Spencer Hastings. A friend that goes to my school." "Hi" Spencer politely smiles. "Why hiiiiii!" Mary smiles back, squeezing her hand, rapidly shaking it. "Oh you guys are so cute!" She smiles, taking her hand away. "What" Sam and Spencer both blankly ask at the same time. "Oh, let me get a picture!" Mary smiles, taking out her camera. "Oh well Spencer let's go" Sam says quickly, taking her hand and dragging her out of the room. All they felt behind them was a flash of light.  
"Sorry about my mom" Sam says once they enter outside, still holding onto her hand. "Oh! No! It's fine. She seems super sweet. My mom's the exact opposite." They then realize that they are technically holding hands, and just smile at each other. "So which car is yours?" Spencer asks, looking to the lot. "Oh..." Sam starts. He sees that the dead deer is still tied to the top of theirs. "We took a shuttle bus..." Is all he says. Spencer nods. Sam then looks at her for several seconds and finally has the courage to lean in. They are about to kiss when they hear a crash and a presence of someone-or something. They freeze, and look over. The deer was standing feet away from them, covered in the rope they had tied him down with. "I thought that deer was dead..." Sam whispers. It growls. "Sam...?" Spencer shakily asks. "Don't make any. Sudden. Movements" Sam whispers to her. They try their best not to move, when Sam's cellphone starts to blare 50 Cent's 'In Da Club', making Sam and Spencer flinch and yelp out. The deer started to run after them. They screamed as Sam took her hand again and they ran back into the building. They ran back into the party room, and before they could even alert everyone, the deer was running into the room with them. People noticed, starting to scream. The deer started to attack everyone, Krissy jumping behind a table. Mary started to run around in circles, and John jumped onto the chandelier, screaming. Dean, who had switched to Melissa Hastings, was making out with her against a table, them breaking apart. He started to scream, shielding Melissa in front of him. Aria started to run around in circles also, Hanna nervously eating another chocolate bar. And Emily started to sob the 'if you're gay then you're gay' song to calm herself down. John started to swing back and fourth on the chandelier, screaming again. "SAVE THE CAKE!!" Dean yelled to everyone, still shielding Melissa in front of him. "SAVE. THE. CAKE!!!"  
"Uh Sam is that your brother using my sister as a shield?" Spencer awkwardly asks him, pointing to them.  
"No..."  
John jumped down from the chandelier, the deer suddenly running him over with its antlers.  
"Ouch..."  
The deer started to charge at Spencer, Sam growing alert. "SPENCER LOOK OUT!" He screamed, pushing her away...  
Into the cake.  
The deer ran over Sam instead, Spencer getting covered in cake. "Oh my Gosh Sam are you okay?!" She asks, standing him up. "Y-yeah. I think so." Once he realized she was covered in cake, he grew embarrassed. "Oh uh Spencer I didn't mean to push you into-" he started when "No! Sam! It's fine. I hated this dress, anyway. My mom made me wear it. You risked your life for me, any way" she smiles. So he smiles back. 

The whole night went into chaos, the deer eventually jumping out through a window.  
The DJ was playing the song Trouble by P!nk the whole time.  
Everyone ended up having to go to the hospital, except the Winchesters, and the four girls and their families. It was awkwardly silent between all of them, until Mike muttered "All you Winchesters" again. "So Krissy" Emily smiled, looking at her when "OH MY GOD EMILY I WILL NOT GO OUT WITH YOU! Krissy screams. "Y-you still want me right?" Dean asked, turning to Melissa. Spencer turned to Sam. "Thanks for saving me" she says. "No problem..." They then realized that their families were watching them, so they just awkwardly shook hands. Spencer's mom, Veronica, gasped. "Look at you!" She said, pointing to Spencer. "You're COVERED with-" "Mom. It's fine. The deer was about to run into me and Sam-" Spencer starts to say, pointing to Sam when "That's it! Come on" she says, taking Spencer, her husband Peter, and Melissa by their hands dragging them out of the room. "WAIT!" Sam and Dean both called out, reaching their hands out. But the Hastings were gone. They depressingly groaned. "Sam!" Aria squealed, attacking him to the floor again.  
"YOU'RE ALIVE!"  
"Yes, and you've KNOWN that for a matter of time now" he says, his face smudged to the floor. "Well, let's go" John says. "Sammy get off your girlfriend." Dean started to laugh, Sam growing annoyed. "She is NOT my girlfriend!" He screams. "And SHE is on top of ME!" He says. Aria gets up. The Winchesters awkwardly leave. All they heard in the distance as they started to drive away was "ALL YOU WINCHESTERS!"


	2. Part Two: What Happens Next

PART 2: WHAT HAPPENS NEXT  
"John, don't you think you should call your sister at the hospital and see if she's alright?" Mary asks him as they all enter the house. "Nah, she's fine" John says nonchalantly, gesturing his hand down. "Dad, she broke every bone in her body, bruised her spleen, and cut three veins" Sam awkwardly states.  
"Well let's pretend she didn't. Now kids, go up to your rooms and change. Get some sleep."  
Sam sat on his bed, looking out the window all gloomy-like. They have changed out of their tuxes, and Dean was on his bed on his laptop. "What's wrong, Sammy?" Dean asks, looking at him, noticing he's down. "Nothing" Sam murmurs.   
"You're lying."  
Sam huffs and looks at his brother. "Did you mess up in front of Spencer like you usually do?" Dean asks. Sam glares at him. "NO." Dean laughs. "It's just..."  
"Just WHAT?"  
"When we were outside..." He trails off. Dean gasps and smiles. "You DID IT! Oh I'm so PROUD!" Dean smiles. "No!" Sam says. "I-I didn't even kiss her!"  
"Oh. Well THAT'S pathetic" is all Dean says. Sam glares at him again. "Dean!" He yells. It's silent. "Well I almost did" Sam murmurs. "What? Do it?" Dean asks.  
"No! Kiss her!" Sam says, growing annoyed. "Oh..." Is all Dean says. Sam's awkwardly silent. "Well, don't worry. You'll get to once you see her again."   
"But that's the THING" Sam says. "What if when the next time I see her I get too nervous to?!"  
"Sammy, you just KISS HER. There's no gong back after that" Dean tells him. Sam's silent again. He nods. "You got her number?" Dean asks. "No." "It's me! It's me! It's me!" Sam's phone started to blare in Arias voice, making the bros flinch. "What is THAT?" Dean sacredly asks. "Oh. That's the ringtone Aria made for herself when she calls me" Sam says like it's the most casual thing ever. "Well that's amazing" Dean says slowly and sarcastically, turning back to his laptop. Sam picks up the phone. "Hey Aria" he says. "I, have some gossip" Aria smiles on the other line. "Really?" Sam asks curiously. "What?"  
"Someone likes you" Aria smiles. Sam's eyes widen. "Really? Who?!"  
"Me!" She smiles, Sam face palming. "But no" she then says seriously. "Someone likes you. Like, LIKE likes you. Like more than a friend. Like wants to hook up with you in-"  
"I get it!" Sam snaps. "And what?" He asks, realizing what she was saying before he interrupted her. Aria's silent. Sam waited.   
"Jenna Marshall!!!"  
Sam's face fell flat. "Jenna Marshall? Isn't she, like, blind?" He asks. Aria gawks. "Sam! Don't you DARE be a racist!" She scolds. "I'm not a racist!" Sam says. "Just... I don't really..." He trails off. Aria gasps. "Well now you're just being rude" she says. "I am ashamed."   
"What? N-no! It's just that-"   
Aria hangs up. Sam sighs in frustration, when the certain ringtone blares again. "Could you put that on vibrate?!" Dean snaps. Sam huffs and picks up.   
"Yes, Aria?"  
"I'm sorry."  
Sam sighs. "It's okay, Aria" he says, exasperated. "I had a really fun time at the wedding!" She smiles. "You know, besides the part where the deer attacked everyone. but, I still had a good time!" "ALL YOU WINCHESTERS!" He heard Mike scream in the back round. "Shut up Mike!" Aria screamed, making Sam flinch. Dean even heard it, looking over and cringing. "Well, I gotta go" she says. "Night Sammy!" She smiles. "Wait" Sam says, closing his eyes. "Yeah?"  
"Aria, I do like someone" Sam says, closing his eyes harder. She gasps. "REALLY?!" She shrieks so loud that Sam has to hold the phone from his ear. Dean looked over, cringing again. Sam shushed her, holding the phone back to his ear. "Who?! Sam I MUST know!" She says. "Man I really gotta get a guy friend" Sam grumbles. "Aria, I can't tell you" is all he says. She gasps. "It's ME, isn't it?! If it is then no offense Sam but-" "What?! N-no! Not YOU!" Dean started to laugh. "It's someone else. I just can't tell you, Aria."   
"But why?!"  
"Because, Aria. You have a big mouth." Dean snickers.  
"True" she says. She's silent. "Well, whoever she is, she's very lucky to have someone like you like her like that."  
"Wow, Aria. Thanks."  
"Nice, huh? I got it from Tumblr."  
Sam's face falls flat again.  
"But really though who?!" She asks.   
"Goodnight Aria" Sam says slowly and exasperated. And with that he hangs up. He puts his phone on his night side table, falling into his pillow. He yawns.  
"Night, Sammy" Dean says, noticing he's about to fall asleep.  
"Night Dean."  
Krissy then barged in. "Guys!" She screams, Sam shooting up and dean looking at her. "Which one of you guys took my bra again?!" She asks. Sam cringes as Dean sighs, taking it out from under his bed, and tossing it to her. "Night" she says, walking out and closing the door. Sam lays down again, staring at the ceiling.  
"Sammy?" Dean says.  
"Yeah?"  
"I betcha Spencer really likes you. I wouldn't be surprised at all if she did" he says.  
"Thanks, Dean."  
"And if she hurts you I'll hurt her."  
Sam laughs. "Thanks. Night Dean."  
"Night Sammy."

"Dean! Gimme the remote!" Sam yells as they're both sitting on the couch the next afternoon, Dean clutching the remote in his hand. "No!" He says. "Go watch your Topanga somewhere else!" He teases. "It's CALLED Boy Meets World" Sam corrects. "I don't care. I'm trying to watch Extreme Snowboarding Accidents." He looks back at the TV to some dude falling down the snow hill. "Ooh! That's gotta hurt!" He smiles. John walked through the door. "Boys!" John says urgently, running over to them. "What" they both ask blankly, not caring. "You know how I'm always forgetting your mothers birthday?" He asks. The boys are suddenly alert. "Yeah?" They ask together, looking at him. "Well as you all know, I am horrible at gift shopping." "That is extremely true" Dean says.  
"Last Christmas you got me a turkey drumstick" Sam states.  
"Now now, let's not live in the past"  
John smiles, patting his head. Sam frowns. John stops patting and says, "Well, since I'm a sucky shopper, I'm paying YOU guys do it!" He smiles. "You're paying us?!" The boys smile, perking up. "That's right!" John smiles. "The money to do the shopping with, of course!"  
The boys' faces fall flat. "Oh, come on, boys! Shopping for women can be fun! Buy her a bra or something. Here's 200 dollars" he says, handing Dean the stack of cash. "Now go to the mall. See ya!"

"This is crazy" Dean says, talking about how many stores there are in the mall, as Sam and him are standing in the middle of it, Dean holding the cash. "I know" Sam says. "I could be watching Boy Meets World right now!" He pouts. "That's not the point!" Dean screams to him, making him flinch. "Now think" he tells him. "What do women like?"   
"Hmmm" they say, putting a finger on their chins. Sam snaps his fingers. "Ooh! I got it!"   
"What?!" Dean asks.   
"Make-up!"  
"Huh. That's true, but doesn't mom wear ENOUGH of that crap?" Dean asks. "Good point" says Sam. "Uhhhh" Dean says. He gasps. "I know! Mom likes to read, right?"

"Dean, are you sure we should be getting her 50 Shades Of Grey?" Sam asks in the bookstore, as Dean takes the whole trilogy box set off of the shelf. It's so heavy that he falls over. "Whoa!"  
Sam watches as he gets up, and Dean says "Of course! Women DIG porn with plot. Relax! We'll get Twilight as a backup." He takes the whole Twilight Saga box set off the shelf, handing it to Sam. Sam almost falls over. "Let's check them out."   
"Here. Take the book and put it in a bag" Dean says, handing Sammy the first 50 shades of grey book. "I'll do the same with the other books." Sam shrugs, starting to walk around to find a bag to put the book in. Sam being curious, stops walking, and flips to a random page in the book. It was something dirty, his eyes widening. He continues to read, holding the book in front of his face.   
"Sam?"   
He brings the book down, seeing Spencer, holding a much less pornographic book in her hand. "Oh! Hey Spencer!" He says, growing embarrassed. "What are you doing here...?"  
"Getting a book" she slightly laughs. Sam's silent. "I knew that... I-I was just-" he notices the book in his hands, awkwardly looking at it. He looks back up at Spencer, and forces a laugh. She starts to awkwardly laugh along, when Sam chucks the book behind him, pretty sure it broke a window. "So how have you been?" He finds himself asking. "Oh I've been good" she smiles. "I enjoyed being with you last night." Sam's eyes widen, his heart speeding up. "I-I enjoyed being with you last night too" he smiles. Spencer smiles again. "Even when a deer was... Attacking the entire reception" she slightly laughs as Sam chuckles.   
"But really though" she says. "Thanks for knocking me out of the way. Even if it was into a giant cake." "No problem" Sam smiles. "It...Was worth getting trampled by" he says. She laughs. "Spencer!" Her mom calls out. They both look back to Veronica standing far behind them. "Oh. Sorry" Spencer says, looking back at him. "I gotta go. I'll see you around?" She asks. "Y-yeah!" He says. "Yeah!" "Would it be strange if I gave you my phone number?" She asks, slightly laughing. "What? N-no! Not at all. No..." Sam awkwardly responds. "Cool" Spencer smiles. She takes a pen out of her bag and a random receipt. She writes it down and hands it to him. "If you contact me just tell me it's you" she smiles. "I will" he smiles. "I'll see ya, Spencer." And with that she walks away. Sam just stands there, staring. Spencer sees him one last time and smiles and waves. Sam smiles and waves back, before running over to Dean. "Dean!" He says. "Where were you?" Dean asks. "I ran into Spencer! I got her number!" "Really?" Dean smiles. "That's awesome! While you were gone I got like eleven" he says, taking a bunch of post it notes out of his pocket. Sam just stared, wide eyed.   
"Whoa..."  
"Exactly. I got all the books in this bag" he says, holding it out. "Where's the other one?" He asks. "I may have threw it out a window..."  
"Oh. Well that's alright. I saw her reading the first book, but she's never told me about it" Dean says. "Then how'd you know she's read it?" Sam asks.  
"BECAUSE I SAW HER!!!!" Dean shouts at him, making him flinch, causing the receipt to fly out of his hand. Sam gasped, starting to run after it. Dean was about to help him, when he saw another hot chick and made his way over. The receipt flew all the way onto a table in the cafe. "Whew" Sam says, making his way over to it. He saw a man sitting in the chair, a magazine up to his face. "Uh, sir?" He awkwardly asks. The man brings the magazine down. And to Sam's horror, it was Mr. Owens.   
Sam's Science teacher from last year who hates his guts.  
"Mr Owens?!" He asks, cringing. "Samuel" he states, calling him by his full name. "What are YOU doing here?!" Sam asks him. "What do you THINK" Owens flatly asks, making Sam grow awkward. "Uh listen. I-a receipt flew onto your table." Sam points to it. "Could I just get it back real quick?" He nervously asks. "Why do you need it so much" Owens asks. "I..." Sam trails off. "I'm returning something" he lies. "And I really need it." Owens thinks, then looks at it, making Sam go pale. "Samuel this is a receipt to Bath & Body Works" Owens says, looking at Sam, putting it in his pocket. Sam is silent. "M-Mr Owens? Look. It's... About a girl." Owens perks up. "She wrote her phone number for me and I-I really like her and-eh-eh?" He asks, flicking his eyebrows. "You get me, right? You were my age, once! You've had crushes on girls, didn't you? Oh please say yes" he says, becoming desperate. Owens is silent. "No..." Is all he flatly says. "Oh come on, Mr Owens!" Sam says. "This girl... She... Just-please! I'll never ask you for anything again!" Owens is silent. "How much do you like this girl" he asks.  
"So very much" Sam says. "Sh-she's beautiful. I really like her" he says. "Huh" Owens says, taking the receipt out of his pocket. Sam smiled, until Owens ripped it in half. Sam screams. "What was THAT for?!" He asks, clenching his fists. "Samuel, if you really like this woman, then go after her."  
"What?!"  
"Do you know where she is? Where she lives?" Owens asks. "Well she could still be in the mall but I don't know where the hell she could be!" Sam frazzles.  
"Well then go after her. Try your best to find her, and ask her for her number again. Better yet, give her YOUR number. No one's stopping you, Samuel."  
"YOU'RE stopping me!" Sam yells. "Just GO!"  
"Dean!" Sam yells, running over to him. "I have to go after Spencer!" "What? Why?"   
"Because Mr. Owens won't give me back her number!"  
"Wait. WHAT?!"  
"Never mind! I'll be back as fast as I can!"  
"Sammy wait-!" But Sam was already running out of the store. He took out his phone calling Aria.  
"Hey Sammy!"   
"Aria! Call Spencer! Ask her where she is and if she says the mall then ask what store! Then call me back and tell me! You got it?"  
Aria's silent, absorbing all the instructions. "Uh okay but why?"   
"I can't explain it now! Just do it!" He hangs up, continuing to look just incase. About a minute later, Aria called back. "Hey! Where is she?!"  
"She said she's at the mall in the store Rack-room Shoes! What's going on, Sam?"   
"I'm at the mall too. She recently gave me her number but I lost it. I need to ask her for it again!"  
"I have her number too, Sam" Aria says, trying to make him realize that she could just give him Spencer's number herself. But-  
"That's great Aria now I gotta go bye." He hangs up, running over to the map of the entire place he was standing near of. The store Spencer was at was all the way across the mall.  
He ran as fast as he could there, weaving at the entrance, seeing Spencer still there with her mom, checking a couple boxes that obviously held shoes in them out. He looked into a mirror real quick, wiping sweat off his forehead, trying to make himself look presentable. He then realized the thing that Aria was trying to tell him: Aria could've just gave him Spencer's number. He was about to just leave and then ask Aria for her number so it seemed as if he had never lost it in the first place, but "Oh hey Sam!" Spencer smiles, noticing him. Sam freezes. He needed something to say, since he didn't need her number again directly from her anymore. "Oh hey Spencer I didn't know you were here" He says, trying to look casual. Spencer smiles, her mom telling her to come on. "Gimme a second" Spencer tells her, turning to her, sounding pissed. She turns back to Sam. "Uh I was wondering..." Sam says. "Would you..." He trails off. Spencer smirks at him. He clears his throat. "Would you like to do something tomorrow? Like, hang out?"   
"Yeah!" Spencer smiles. "Yeah that would be great! Yeah you should give me your number! Since you already have mine."   
His eye twitches.  
He gave her his number. "I'll call you" he says, before rushing out of the place.   
He found Dean at the food court, eating a slice of pizza. "Dean!" He smiles, running up to his table. "Hey. Where were you?" Dean asks. "Just oh I don't know-PLANNING TO MEET UP WITH SPENCER HASTINGS TOMORROW" he smiles, Dean raising an eyebrow. "Seriously?" He smiles. "Nice!"   
They high five. "So you got her number back?" Dean asks.  
"No..." Sam stutters awkwardly. "But I can just text Aria and ask her for it."  
"So, you went through ALL that trouble, just to realize that-"  
"Don't talk about it!"

After they had left, Sam was reading in his room, an hour later, when Aria called him.   
"Hey Aria what's up?"  
"Noel Kahn is throwing a party tonight and we are so going."   
Sam freezes. "Uh, isn't Noel Kahn, like, my brothers age?" He nervously asks.  
"Duh! That's what makes it FUN! I doubt Dean will be there! C'mon, Sammy! It's not like we're gonna drink or anything!"  
"I-I don't know..." Sam wearily trails off, laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling.   
"I can get Spencer to go."  
Well THAT got his attention. He sat up. "Really?!"  
Aria started to laugh. "Oh, Sammy Sammy Sammy" she says, making him frown. "It's her, isn't it?"  
"What?"  
"Spencer's the girl you like!!"  
Sam's silent. "Okay maybe she is, but..." He trails off. Aria laughs again. "But FIY," Sam says matter of fact like, starting kick his legs. "We, are going out tomorrow night" he says confidently. "Oh my Gosh! You and Spencer?!"  
"No. Me and Topanga Lawrence. YES ME AND SPENCER!"   
"Oh my Gosh!" Aria smiles again. "That's so great!" She adds. Sam smiles also. "Is it like a DATE?" She asks. "I don't know. But all I DO know is that we're going out tomorrow. And it's gonna go good. I don't think her mom likes me, though..." Sam says.  
"Spencer's mom doesn't like me either" Aria smiles.  
They both laugh.   
"So if I can get Spencer to go would you go?" Aria asks.  
"You know what?" Sam says. "Even if Spencer ISN'T going, I'll still go. And you wanna know why? Because I, am a risk taker." Aria laughs. "Well that's amazing, Sam. I'm gonna call Spencer. The party's tonight. Starting around   
eight-ish." "Okay bye" Sam says.   
He hangs up.   
Five minutes later, Aria greets Sam on the phone with   
"Spencer can go."  
"Really?" Sam smiles. "Okay!" "She said she's gonna have to lie about where she's going, though" Aria says. "Her mom?" Sam asks, knowing Spencer's mom would be strict about about that kinda stuff. "Yup" Aria says. "But she'll be fine. Oh do you want me to text you her number?"  
"Like you could've just done in the first place? Please." Aria laughs. "Should I just come over to your place tonight so we can just walk there together?" Aria asks.  
"Yeah. That'll be easier. I'll see ya. Bye."

After Sam had added Spencer as a contact, a couple hours later, Sam dresses up nicely, and makes his way downstairs, to John who's sitting on the couch watching tv.  
"I'm going out tonight" he announces. "That's funny, Sammy" John says, looking at him. Sam frowns. "What? I-I'm serious, dad! And Aria's coming over."  
"Okay well make sure you keep your door open she's your girlfriend, right?"  
"She's not my girlfriend!" Sam screams. "And she's not staying here once she comes. We're going out together."  
"So you're going out on a date?"  
"No, dad."  
"Alright."   
That's when Mary popped her head out of the kitchen. "Who's coming over, Sammy?"  
Sam's silent. "My girlfriend. 'Cause that's totally what Aria is to me" he says sarcastically. But:  
"Well it's about time you get one" Mary says.   
"Mom, I was being sarcastic. And I'm fourteen."  
"Sammy, Dean got his first girlfriend when he was nine. Get over it."  
"Yeah" Krissy says, walking into the room. "Even I'VE had a BOYFRIEND."  
"What?!" Sam asks, frowning, a mix of annoyance and protection. "When?!"  
"Relax, lame-o" Krissy says. "It was at summer camp last year. His name was Damien and he kissed me at the fire pit below the moonlight" Krissy proudly explains.   
"Since when did you become a poet, shrimp" Sam asks, getting annoyed, considering that he hasn't even had his first KISS yet. Dean walked in, saying "Hey guys what's up?"   
"We're talking about how Sam has never had a girlfriend yet" Krissy says. Sam glares at her. "Oh well I knew THAT" Dean says. "But hey" he says, looking at Sam. "Aren't you going out with Spencer tomorrow?" He asks. "Yeah!" Sam says, looking at Mary and Krissy. "I am!" "Who's Spencer" Krissy asks. "Mom you met her at the wedding, remember?" Sam says, looking at Mary. "Oh yeah! Why yes I remember! She seems sweet." "Well she is" Sam says. "And we're going out tomorrow."  
"So she's your girlfriend?" Krissy asks. "N-no... But she COULD be" Sam says. A knock sounded at the door, Sam perking up. "It's probably Aria" he says. He opens the door, to Aria who's wearing the same dress she was at the wedding, leaning her right arm against the right part of the doorway, looking all swag like. "Sup Sammy" she smiles in a hip tone. "Hey" he says. "Let's do this." He then turns to his family "We're going out!" He announces. "Oh where?" Mary asks. "Uhhhh... Bowling..."  
"Okay! Have fun!"   
"Oh, Krissy" Aria says, looking at her. "Emily wanted to know if-"   
"Tell her to stop calling me and that I will never go out with her!" Krissy interrupts. "I expected that" Aria says. "We'll be back" Sam says, before they leave.  
"Uh could we actually go bowling?" Sam nervously asks as they start to walk. "I'm having second thoughts about this."  
"Sam, we're going. There's no turning back now" Aria says seriously. "Uh yes there is" Sam says. "My house is two doors down from the one we're walking by right now."  
"It's a phrase, Sammy! Come on. What could POSSIBLY go wrong?!"


	3. Part Three: What Happens At The Party

PART 3: WHAT HAPPENS AT THE PARTY  
Aria and Sam had walked all the way to Noel Kahn's house, and were standing on the lawn. Music was booming loud from inside, and the noise of people was coming from the backyard. There were even people smoking all sorts of things on the porch, and people jumping-and throwing furniture-off of the roof. "Let's just go through the gate" Aria says. After they had gone into the backyard to people talking, dancing, smoking, drinking, and jumping into the swimming pool Noel had, Arias phone buzzed. She looked at it. "It's Spencer" she says, looking back at Sam. "She said Melissa's driving her." "Okay" Sam says. "So what should we do?" She asks. "I don't know. I mean, we know what NOT to do" he points out. Aria nods. "When does your other friend Allison get back from summer camp?" Sam asks. Allison was never the nicest person ever to Sam. Either that, or she was leaving him out. "Oh, yeah. Uh six days" Aria says. Sam nods. "Do you like Allison?" Aria curiously asks. "What? No! I told you I like Spencer."  
"Not LIKE like. Just...Like..." Aria says. "Oh. Yeah" he lies. Aria gives him a look. "You're lying" she states. "Okay maybe I am. But that's because she's so bitchy to me!" Sam says. "How? When?" Aria asks, confused. "You've never seen it 'cause she only does it when her and I are alone. And... She just teases me and stuff." "About WHAT?" Aria asks, growing enraged. "Just... I guess how I like to read and things like that" Sam mutters, looking down, embarrassed. "That's ridiculous!" Aria says, Sam looking back up at her. "You're Sam! Your interest for reading is like, part of your PERSONALITY!" She says. Sam laughs. "You're you, Sam. And that's the only person you're good at being. It's the only person you CAN be. And don't let someone take that away from you. Especially Allison" Aria says. Sam smiles. "Thanks, Aria..."  
"Hey guys!" They hear Spencer's voice. Spencer runs over to them. "Hey!" Sam and Aria smile. "I can't believe I'm here!" Spencer smiles. "We can't believe we're here either" Aria smiles. "This is crazy. I'm gonna get a soda, okay? You guys want anything?" She asks. After Sam had requested a coke and Spencer a sprite Aria said "okay. It might take me a while to find them so I might BE A WHILE." She then winks at Sam two times, giving him a thumbs up. Sam glared at her, signaling her to go. Aria pranced away. The song Counting Stars came on. "I love this song" Spencer says, starting to tap her foot. "Same" Sam smiles. Spencer smiles back. It's silent until "Spencer?" He asks. "Yeah?" "How do you feel...about Allison?" He asks. Earlier in the year, he had noticed that Ali jokes around about Spencer a lot. "Allison?" Spencer asks. "You should be asking Emily that" she jokes. Sam laughs. "Uh... Allison's... Different" Spencer says. Sam nods. "She can be very mean to me sometimes, though" she admits. Sam rapidly nods. "She's mean to me too" he says. Spencer looks at him. "Really?" She asks, confused. "Yeah. Why are you so surprised?" Sam asks. "Well, it's just that... I thought that you would be the type of person that Ali would crush on" Spencer says. Sam raises his eyebrows. "Really?" He asks. "Yeah..."  
"Well, she clearly doesn't" Sam awkwardly says.   
Back in the kitchen, Aria had poured Sam and Spencer's drinks into glasses. She was searching the fridge for a can of orange soda for herself. Her younger brother Mike then came down from the ceiling attached to the rope in a ninja suit, holding a bottle of vodka. He did research that you could put vodka in coke, and he had decided to sabotage Sam's moment. He poured half the bottle in the glass of coke, then was pulled back up by Mona Vanderwal. The only reason SHE was in on this, is because she was pissed at Dean for making out with her and then never calling her. "Then again," she thinks. "I never gave him my number. Oh well. No going back now." "Why didn't we put vodka in SPENCER'S drink too?" She asks him curiously. "Because, Mona! If SPENCER gets drunk too then they could end up hooking up! And we don't want that!"

"Well, I wouldn't blame her if she did..." Spencer says shyly back outside. Sam looks at her and smiles. Spencer smirks when "I'M BACK!" Aria yells with a smile, making them flinch and look over. "Now you're back?!" Sam asks, growing pissed. "Here!" Aria smiles, shoving the drink in his hand, ignoring him. Sam takes a big long sip, drinking the whole thing and gulping it down, strangely not tasting any of the vodka. "Aria can I talk to you for a second?" Spencer asks, pulling her away so Sam was out of earshot. "What's up?" Aria asks. "Listen" Spencer nervously says. "I..." She trails off. "You what?" Aria asks. "I really like Sam, okay?" Spencer says. "But I don't know how to tell him." Aria decided to not tell her that she knew Sam liked her back, for the element of surprise. "Just TELL him, Spencer!" Aria smiles. "What's the worst that could happen?" "So he's never said anything about me?" Spencer asks. "Spencer, Sam never tells me ANYTHING. He's a really sweet guy. It's not like he'll shoot you down!"  
"Sam?" Spencer nervously asks to Sam who is now drunk. "Heyyyy Spencer!" He happily smiles to her. "Wassup girl?" He asks. Spencer frowns. "Uh I'll be right back" she says, knowing he would never say something like that. She runs back to Aria. "Hey!" She smiles. "What did he say?!" "Something he would only say if he was DRUNK. Did you put something in his drink?" She suspiciously asks. "What?! No! Spencer, you know me. The only person I would ever DO THAT to, is Andrew Campbell. 'Cause he's hated me since forever. And also, don't you think that if I did that to Sam, I would do that to YOU, too? Drink your drink, Spencer!" She says. Spencer drinks her whole drink. "I don't feel anything yet" she says. "That's because you'll never feel anything at ALL" Aria explains. "Some rotten older kid must've snuck something in!" They both walk over to him. "Sam" Aria says when "I am so drunk" he interrupts. The girls are silent. Spencer blinks. "Uhhhh yeah we notice that" Aria says awkwardly. "W-we think you should lay down" she says. Spencer nods. Sam scoffs. "I'm fine, babes!" he smiles, before falling over. They help him up, grunting. "What has he been eating?" Aria asks, as they stand back up. "Corn" Sam responds. "That's amazing" Aria says slowly and sarcastically. "Let's get you in a room to lay down in."  
Once they threw him on a bed in an empty room in the house, Aria said "oh well good luck with him Spence'" and left. "But Aria wait-!" But she was gone, shutting the door. Spencer sighs, turning to Sam who's laying on the bed. "I think you should get some rest" is all she flatly says. "I'm not tired" Sam responds. "You're stubborn when you're drunk, ya know that?" Spencer asks. Sam smirks. "Well you're beautiful... Standing in a room..." Sam slurs. Spencer blushes but knows he's just slurring. "Thanks...?" Is all she says in a question. Sam makes a click noise with his tongue, making Spencer scoff. "Well uh I'm gonna go" she says, making her way to the door. "And Sam?" She asks, turning back to him.  
"Yeah?"  
Spencer's silent. "Who do you think put alcohol in your drink?" "Mike Montgomery" Sam instantly says. "He hates me." Spencer's silent. "Alrighty then" she murmurs, not believing him, about to leave. "Wait" Sam says, Spencer flinching and nervously turning around. "Yes?"  
"Could you stay here with me?"   
Spencer's silent, frozen. "Sure, Sam..." She sits down on the bed, looking around the room. "Spencer?" He asks. She looks at him. "Yeah?" She asks. "I..." He trails off. Her heart races. "I want to stand up." Spencer's face falls flat, as Sam stands up. So she stands up too, facing him. "Sam can I tell you something?" She asks. "Yeah. Anything" he says slowly. She exhales. "I know you're drunk, but Sam, I don't care." "I don't care either" he says. "Sam..." She trails off. "I-" and before they know it he's throwing up on her shoes. She gawks, her mouth dropping open. Sam looks back up at her, as if he might cry. He's silent. "Spencer..." He says. "S-Sam it's fine" she says, kicking her shoes off, the only thing covering her feet is socks. "No, it's not" Sam says, running into the bathroom. Spencer follows him. His face is buried in his hands. "Sam-" she starts again when he looks back up at her, wiping tears from his face. "I'm sorry" he says. "I sounded so stupid-" "Forget about that" Spencer says. "You're sober now." "But your shoes-" "I couldn't care less" she responds. Sam sits down on the floor, hugging his knees. "I don't know what was in my drink, okay?" He says. "I know..." Spencer says. "It's okay." Sam wipes more tears from his face. "You're gonna be okay" she says, kneeling down next to him. He leans on her shoulder, and she lets him. "You're... A really great girl, Spencer" Sam says. "You're great too" she responds. "In spite of what just happened tonight," he says, turning to her. "Would you... Still like to go out tomorrow?" He asks. Spencer's silent. "It's a date" she smiles, finding his hand and squeezing it. Sam smiles back. She drops his hand. "A date" he states. "Y-yeah I could live with that" he says, making her laugh. "We should probably get back to Aria" she says. "Yeah. Y-yeah let's go" Sam shyly says, as they get up. "You okay?" She asks him. "No headache?" "No I'm fine" Sam says. "Good" she smiles. "I should wash off my shoes" she slightly laughs, picking them up, making sure not to touch the vomit. After she did so she put them on.They start to walk to the door, Sam grabbing her hand. They walk back to Aria, separating their hands. "Hey!" Aria smiles. "What's up?" "I think I should go home" Spencer says. "Yeah" Sam agrees. "My parents are going to start wondering." "Do you guys want a ride back from Melissa?" Spencer asks them. "Sure!" Aria smiles. "Thanks. Sammy can I talk to you for a second?" She asks, pulling him away. "Yeah?" He asks. "You okay?" She asks. "Me? Yeah." He clears his throat. "Fine." "Not hungover in any way?" She asks. "Nope. I MAY have puked on her shoes, though..." He awkwardly says. "What?" Aria asks loudly, making him flinch. "Uh we're fine now but anyhow I'm fine!" He says. "Really!" "Did you kiss her?" Aria asks. "Well, no, but I DID hold her hand several times. And she held back! AND it was after I puked on her shoes!" He smiles proudly. "Well that's a step!" She smiles. "Yeah!" Sam smiles back. They walk back over to Spencer who's waiting for them. "Hey" she smiles. "Melissa's on her way. She should be here in a couple minutes." "Okay!" Aria smiles. "Cool!"   
They had talked about how horrible the music was for a few minutes, then Melissa had texted Spencer that she was here.

The three had sat in the back, Spencer in the middle. Sam sat on her left, Aria right. They were silent, as they all just looked forward. Don't You Forget About Me was quietly playing on the radio. Sam, still looking forward, squeezed Spencer's hand. They still just looked forward, but Spencer felt herself blush. She squeezed back.  
After Aria was dropped off, Sam still held Spencer's hand. She yawned, leaning on his shoulder. Sam got goosebumps, his heart speeding up. Melissa stopped in front of his house, Spencer taking her head away from against his shoulder. "Bye Sam" Melissa smiles. "Thanks for the ride" he smiles back, undoing his seatbelt. "No problem. Tell your brother to call me."  
"Uh I will..." Sam awkwardly responds. "Bye" he says, looking at Spencer. "Bye" she smiles. They're just staring at each other for a moment, before Sam runs a finger down her right palm and opens the right side door. "I'll call you" he tells her. "I'll pick up" she smiles back. Sam smiles and nods, before opening the door, stepping out, and closing it. Melissa steps on the gas pedal, starting to drive away. Spencer's silent, looking up at the ceiling. "Oh you so love him" Melissa smiles. "What?" Spencer asks, frowning, looking down at her. Melissa snickers. "Oh, come ON Spencer!" She smiles. "It's so obvious! And I can tell he likes you too. It's just the way you look at each other." Spencer scoffs. "That is so cliche."  
"It's the TRUTH!" Melissa says. Spencer's silent. "I DO really like him. And I have been since the beginning of the last school year" she says. "Plus, we're going out tomorrow" she states smartly. "Well that's good!" Melissa says. "Maybe you two will finally go somewhere!" Spencer nods. "I just really like him 'cause he's awkward like me" Spencer says. "Plus he's nice. He's... Sam" she says. Melissa smiles. "I don't think mom likes him though" Spencer says quietly. "Spencer, mom doesn't like anybody. Do you think she's liked any of MY boyfriends?" Melissa asks, matter of fact like. "True" Spencer says. "Don't worry, spencer" Melissa reassures. "Everything'll work out."

"I'm back" Sam announces once he walks through the front door. John is still watching tv on the couch, now eating a whole box of donuts. "How was bowling?" Mary smiles, popping her head into the room again. "Good" Sam says, walking into the kitchen. "Dad can I have a donut?" He calls out to John who's too focused on watching baseball. "No" he calls back. Sam just looks forward. Dean runs down the stairs, into the kitchen. "Hey Sammy" he says. "Can I talk to you for a second?" "Sure" Sam says, before Dean starts to pull him away, up the stairs and into their room.   
Aria was at home, googling "Alcohol you can put in coke drink without drinker noticing" to get to the bottom of who put that alcohol in Sam's drink. She then found out you could put VODKA in it, growing suspicious. "Hey Aria" Mike says casually, walking across the room with the half empty vodka bottle in his hand, still in his ninja suit. "Hey Mike" she starts to say when she notices what he's holding. She gasps. "Mike! YOU'RE the vodka smuggler!" She says. Mike's silent. "All them Winchesters!" He then screams, making her flinch, before running out of the room.   
"What?" Sam asks Dean, back at their home in their room. "You didn't really go bowling" Dean states, pointing at him. Sam exhales. "You're right" he says. "And I knew you were lying from the start" Dean adds. Sam bites his lip. "Where were you REALLY?" Dean asks suspiciously. "A party..."  
"What?!" Dean fumes, making Sam flinch. "Relax!" Sam says. "Who's?!" Dean asks, steaming coming from the top of his head. "Noel Kahn's..." Sam says awkwardly, looking away. Sam was scared that Dean was going to flip out again, but "Sweet I love that guy!" Is all he smiles. Sam looks back at him and nods. "But nothing happened" Sam says. "I saw Spencer" he adds. "Really?" Dean smiles. "Anything happen with her?" "Sorta" Sam says. "I held her hand a couple times and she leaned on my shoulder." "Well that's a step!" Dean says in a smile like Aria did. "She totally likes you. She wouldn't have leaned on your shoulder if she didn't." Sam nods. "Oh and Melissa told me to call you" he adds. "Tell her no promises" Dean responds.

The next day, Sam called Spencer around noon. "Hey" Spencer smiles once she picks up after a couple of rings. "Hey Spencer" Sam smiles. "Do you still want to hang out today?" He nervously asks. "Yeah! Of course!" She says. "What time is good for you?" She asks. "Uhh maybe tonight around seven?" Sam asks. "Yeah! That's perfect. I'll see you then."  
"Okay" he smiles. "Bye Spencer."  
"I'll see ya Sam." And with that she hangs up. Sam takes his phone from his ear and stares into space, wide eyed. "I had just survived my first one way call with Spencer Hastings" he says aloud. "You're quoting Mean Girls again" Krissy says, walking across the room, taking his laptop off his bed without him noticing, and walking out. "I know that Krissy!" He yells.  
Ah, you gotta love Mean Girls.  
Aria then called Sam, Sam picking up. "Hey Aria" he says. "You hanging with Spencer tonight?" She asks. "Yeah! Around seven." "Awesome! Wanna come to my house and watch Mean Girls?!" She eagerly asks. "I'll be right over."  
Sam and Aria were sitting on Aria's couch in front of the TV which was viewing Mean Girls, laughing hysterically. Mike was pulling a bucket of red goo down over Sam's head, Aria and Sam noticing. "Mike, would you PLEASE stop plotting to ruin Sam's life?" Aria asks him, annoyed. "All you Winchesters" Mike grumbles, mad that his plan was foiled, before pressing a button on some scientific remote that sent the bucket back up to the attic. A knock then sounded at the door, Aria standing up. "I'll get it" she says, making her way over. She opens it, and standing there, is Allison. Aria gasps. "Ali!" She smiles. Sam whips his head around. "Allison?!" He asks. Ali looks at him and smirks. "Oh, hey Sammy" she fake smiles. Sam frowns. "Hey, Ali..." "What are you doing back so early?" Aria smiles. "Misunderstandings. I'd rather spend my summer with you guys anyway!" She smiles. "Well cool!" Aria smiles. "Do the other girls know?" She asks. "Nope but that's what I'm about to go do. BRB!" Ali smiles. She walks away and Aria closes the door. She turns back to Sam. "Sam, don't worry. She won't pick on you. Not on my watch" Aria says toughly, crossing her arms. And before they know it, red goo is landing all over Sam, along with the hearing of Mike's evil laugh. Aria frowns.  
"MIKE!!" She screams in anger, frowning, looking up at the ceiling.  
"ALL YOU WINCHESTERS!"


	4. Chapter Four: Some people are just born evil

PART 4: SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST BORN EVIL  
Ali went to Spencer's house next. "Ali?" Spencer asks, once she opens the door. "Hey Spence'!" Ali smiles. "My camp got cancelled. Isn't that great?" "Uh yeah!" Spencer forces a smile. "How was it?" "It was good. I hooked up with like ten guys, of course" Ali smiles proudly. Spencer just nods. "So what's life been like without me?" Ali eagerly asks. "Better" Spencer wants to say. But just says "Okay, I guess." "Wanna hang out tonight with me and the other girls?" Ali asks. "Oh man I wish I could but I can't" Spencer says, trying to sound disappointed. "Why not?" Ali sounds sad. "Uh I have other plans" Spencer says. "What are you doing?" Ali asks. "Uh I'm doing a family thing" Spencer quickly lies. Ali would make fun of her if she said she was gonna be with Sam. And/or bash Sam himself. "What kind of family thing?" Ali asks. "Special dinner" Spencer says. "Melissa's going back to Stanford."  
Which WAS true. "Oh. Well good for her. Well alrighty then. I guess I'll just leave, then..." Ali says, turning around, knowing she was lying. "I'm going out with Sam tonight" Spencer quickly says. Ali turns around. "Seriously?" She asks, crinkling her nose. "Yeah!" Spencer says. "I really like him, Ali" she says, blushing at the thought. "And I know he likes me." "So, he's like, your boyfriend?" Ali asks. "No. But he COULD be." "Spencer," Ali says. "Sam is a freak." Spencer frowns. "Well I guess that makes me a freak too" she says, before slamming the door in Ali's face.   
Ali felt defeated.

"I'm going on a date" Sam announces, dressed up nicely, the goo that Mike had earlier poured on him washed from his hair, walking down the stairs to John watching tv again. "That's funny,-"   
"I'M NOT JOKING!" Sam shouts, making John flinch. "It's true" Dean yells to him, walking out from the kitchen holding the water bottle. "He's going on a date with Spencer Hastings." "Oh isn't she that nice girl I met at the wedding?" Mary smiles, popping her head out. "Yes mom" Sam says flatly. "The girl you met at the wedding." "Sam has a date?" Krissy asks, walking down the stairs. She snickers. "Yeah. And I'm pregnant" she jokes. "WHAT?!!" John asks, whipping his head to her. "YOU CAN'T BE PREGNANT! YOU'RE ONLY GOING INTO THE SEVENTH GRADE!!!" He shouts. "Dad, I'm JOKING!" She screams.  
"Oh..."  
"Oh sweetie when's your date coming?" Mary generously smiles, folding her hands together. "Uh in a half hour" Sam says, checking his dorky digital watch. "Well I'll be sure to embarrass you" Krissy jokingly smiles. "She'll only be on the doorstep, shrimp" Sam tells her flatly, giving her a dead look. "She won't be seeing ANY of you" Sam tells all of them. "So where are you taking her?" Krissy asks. "I don't know. We'll probably take a walk or something" Sam says. "Aw, how romantic!" Mary gushes. "Mom!" Sam says, growing annoyed, making Dean laugh.   
"Oh. Hold on. A piece of your hair is sticking up" Mary says, walking over to Sam. She licks her finger and tries to stick it down. Sam keeps moving away. Mary's grumbling gibberish, trying to get to Sam. He keeps moving away, and had finally had enough.  
"MOM STOP!!"   
Dean just laughs in ammusment.  
Once the doorbell had rung, Sam was practically pushing everyone out of the way. "I'LL GET IT NO ONE ELSE GET IT!" He shouts to everyone. He had shouted it so loud, that Spencer even heard it on the doorstep, snickering. Sam then accidentally ran into the door. Spencer flinched at the noise. Sam's family looked at him, silent. Sam stood behind the door, clearing his throat and spiffing his hair up real quick. He opened the door, revealing Spencer in a nice dress that went down to her knees. She smiles. "HI SPENCER" Krissy calls out purposely loud from inside, Sam sneaking a quick glare at her, then stepping out on the porch, closing the door behind him. Spencer was laughing from Krissy's random burst. "Hey" Sam smiles to her. "Hey" she smiles back. "You ready?" He asks. "Yeah" she smiles. "Let's go." "What would you like to do?" Sam asks. "Uh well I've already eaten, and I don't have any cash with me. Unless you're hungry..." She trails off. "N-no! I've already eaten" Sam says, which was true. "And I don't have any money either. Maybe we could just... Take a walk?" He asks. "Yeah! Y-yeah I would like that."  
"So did you hear Allison's back?" Sam asks as they have made their way down the sidewalk. "Yeah" Spencer says, not sounding happy about it. "And she still has the same personality" she says, crinkling her nose. Sam nods. "I told Aria that Ali makes fun of me. Aria said she wouldn't let that happen." "Well that's the thing though Ali ONLY does it when she's alone with us" Spencer states. Sam nods. "She's just..." He trails off. "A bitch" Spencer finishes. Sam looks at her and they smirk. They continue to walk. "Let's just not focus on Ali" Spencer says. Sam nods. "Spencer..." He trails off. Spencer looks at him, her heart racing. "I'm sorry... For getting drunk last night" he says. Spencer smirks. "Sam, it's okay" she smiles. "It's not your fault, remember?" Sam warmly smiles. "Besides," Spencer says. "You're sorta cute when you're drunk." Sam blushes and laughs. "Yeah. And I also say the most embarrassing things ever" he adds. Spencer smiles. "So does that mean I'm not cute when I'm sober?" He flirts. Spencer laughs. "I never said THAT" she smiles. Sam smiles again. "Well... I bet you'd be cute too if you were ever drunk" he shyly says. "I'd probably be the type of person that just goes crazy. Like my mom is when she's drunk. And high. And-" Spencer says when "I get the point" Sam slightly laughs, before looking forward. And with that he grabs her hand, and they both blush again. They squeeze each other's hands. "Hey listen" Sam says, looking at her. "Would you like to sit down at that spot in Blakney?" He asks. "By the fountain?" He adds. Spencer genuinely smiles. "Yeah. Yeah I would like that."  
It was already getting dark, and the two make their way over to the shopping center near the fountain hand in hand. They look at the sight of people and children. There were people sitting on the ongoing fountain and there were many benches to sit down on. They sit down on one and just stare forward. "I've always loved coming here" Spencer says. "Me too" Sam says. "My brother would take me here all the time when I was younger" he says. "Are you and him close?" Spencer asks, looking at him. Sam thinks for a moment. "Dean? Yeah I'd say we're pretty close. We've always been. Our parents have made us share a room since forever. I'm pretty sure that even when we were BABIES we had a room with two cribs." Spencer laughs. "Well that's good that you two are close. How about you and Krissy?" "Uhhh" Sam says. "Krissy's a girl, and stuff-" Spencer laughs and Sam smiles. "But that doesn't mean I don't love her. She's a tough cookie. She's just going through that stage where she wants nothing to do with her family" Sam continues. Spencer smiles. "Believe me I've been there. I still AM there." "Same" Sam smiles. "Are you and Melissa close?" He asks. "Yeah" Spencer smiles. "We don't share a room, and she's six years older than me but we're still close. She's going back to Stanford this fall and to tell you the truth I'm really gonna miss her." "Yeah" Sam sadly agrees. "That's how I'm gonna feel when Dean leaves the house. Well, IF he leaves the house." Spencer laughs. They start to talk about things like what books and music they like for a while, then Spencer looks forward. "This is so beautiful." Sam's silent. He then makes her look at him. And pulls her lips to his. They kiss for a couple seconds and pull away and just smile. "Thanks for tonight" Spencer smiles. Sam smirks. "No problem." And with that he put his arm around her and they both look forward. "And uh one question" Spencer tells him. "Yeah?" Sam asks. "Why were you reding fifty shades of grey at the mall?" She laughs. "A case of curiosity" is all Sam can say before she laughs again. And then they just talked for the rest of the night. And it went good.  
They held hands as he walked Spencer back to her house and they joked around. "Thanks for walking me" she smiles. "I wanted to" he smiles back. "Really, though. I've had a lot of fun tonight" Spencer smiles. "Me too. I enjoy talking to you." "I enjoy talking to you too." Spencer kisses him on the cheek and Sam smiles. "Thanks, Sam."   
"For what?"  
"For caring for me."  
"I always will." They smile and then of course, VERONICA opens the door and sees then. "Spencer" she says. Sam and her turn pale and turn around. "I'll be in a minute" Spencer says, giving her a glare. "Oh no i-it's fine I was just leaving" Sam stutters. Spencer grows nervous and looks at him. "I'll hopefully see you again" he tells her. "Yeah. Definitely" she smiles. "I'll see ya Sam" she smiles. "Bye Spencer." He squeezes her hand and starts to walk away and is eventually out of earshot. "Spencer can I talk about you inside?" Veronica sternly asks. Spencer huffs and walks inside. Veronica closes the door behind her. She turns to her daughter. "I don't want you seeing that boy" she tells her. Spencer frowns. "Mom, you just need to get to know him. He's a good kid. And you telling me not to see him is just gonna wanna me me see him more!" She says. "No Spencer. You're too young to have a boyfriend anyway." "It was one kiss!" She yells. She freezes, suddenly realizing what she just said. "You kissed him?!" Veronica asks, making her flinch. "Yeah! So what it's not like we MADE OUT!" She says. "Kissing is as far as I'll go with any guy at least until I get older anyway, mom." "And how do you know the same goes for him?" Veronica asks. "He's a fourteen year old boy, Spencer. And you know how fourteen year old boys are." Spencer knew she meant sex. "Mom, Sam would never try that with me. He's not some pig. He would never force me to do anything I didn't want." "But what about his brother?" Veronica asks. "Isn't HE the one that cheated on Melissa last year? He's obviously a tramp." "Oh, relax mom" Melissa suddenly says, walking into the room and over to the fridge. "Me and Dean are just friends with benefits now. And doesn't mean SAM is the same way. I've met him; he's nice and I can TELL he likes Spencer." Veronica sighs. "Well girls, I don't care Spencer I don't want you seeing him. Even as a friend." "Mom, reconsider this" Melissa says cautiously, trying to handle the situation. "Mom!" Spencer screams, handling the situation in the exact opposite way. "No Spencer. End of story." "Why can't you just be happy for me for once? I KNOW I'm young but this is the first boy that has ever actually LIKED me. I don't know why he does, but apparently he sees something in me. And I KNOW I see something in him." And with that she runs up in her room to cry. 

"I'm home" Sam announces once he walks through the door. "How'd it go?" Mary smiles. "Pretty good" is all Sam says, about to go up to his room, not wanting to spill details to his MOM. "But honey wait!" She calls out, before slamming his door shut. He looks around the room, not seeing Dean anywhere. He sighs of relief, just wanting to get some sleep when "HEY SAMMY!" Dean smiles, jumping in front of him out of nowhere, making him scream. "You scared me!" Sam says. "Exactly! Now tell me how your date went." "Don't be a girl" is all Sam murmurs, walking past him and jumping onto his bed. "So I'm a girl for wanting to know how your date went?" Dean asks, turning to him and crossing his arms. "Exactly. I'm tired." Dean gasps. "It SUCKED didn't it?" He asks. "That's why you don't want to-" "It went great okay?!" Sam interrupts. "I'm sorry, what was that?" Dean teases with a smile. Sam huffs. "It. Went. Good" he says. "Did you kiss her?" He asks. "No..."  
"You're lying."  
"Okay YES. And she kissed back."  
"Tongue?"  
"Goodnight, Dean." 

Back at Spencer's, Spencer was just staring at her wall in her room, sulking on her bed. She was angry at Veronica for trying to take away her freedom of seeing Sam. There was a knock on her locked door. "Don't come in" she tells whoever's knocking. "It's me" says Melissa's voice. Spencer sighs, getting up. She unlocks and opens the door to Melissa. "I want to be alone" is all Spencer tells her. "No, you want to be with Sam."  
"That too." Spencer walks back to her bed and sits down. "I know why Mom doesn't trust Sam" Melissa says. "Is this JUST because Dean cheated on you?" Spencer asks. Melissa's silent. "I'm not supposed to tell." Spencer's eyes widen. "Tell me what?" She asks. Melissa closes the door and sits down on the bed next to her. "Well you see Spencer, it all goes back to the summer of '04." Spencer nods. "I was nine. Mom and I were at the hardware store. She reached for a chainsaw out of the clearance bin the same time John Winchester did." "I don't like where this is going..." Spencer says. "They fought over it. And one thing lead to another and..." Melissa trails off, Spencer trembling. "John accidentally chopped off..." Spencer waited.  
"Her hair. She had split ends for a year." Spencer frowned. "And ever since, mom has hated the whole Winchester family. And it escalated more when she found out I was going out with Dean. And then he cheated on me. And then the whole thing with Sam." "Seriously?" Spencer asks, frowning. "THAT'S the whole reason mom hates the Winchesters? Because of ONE bad hair day?" "Actually hair year" Melissa corrects. "Whatever. It's still stupid" Spencer says. "I know" Melissa says. "Does dad hate the Winchesters too?" Spencer asks. "Oh. No. He and John are actually drinking buddies every weekend at the bar downtown."  
"Oh" Spencer says. "That's good I guess. But I don't think dad would approve either! And not just with SAM. With ANY boy!" "Oh well that's normal" Melissa says. "Dad's always gonna be protective with boys. He was with me." Spencer's silent. "I know..."  
"And besides you're just so young!" Melissa exclaims over dramatically. "I know, Melissa. I'm fourteen." Melissa nods. "Everything's gonna work out." "No. It won't" Spencer says. "Mom will NEVER. Let me see him!" "Then I'll help you guys sneak around!" Melissa says. "Melissa, no-" Spencer starts to say when "Yes, Spencer! I'll see you in the morning. Think about this." And with that Melissa walks out for Spencer to dramatically sigh again.


	5. One thing after another

PART 5: ONE THING AFTER ANOTHER  
As Dean, Sam and Krissy all sat at the breakfast table the next morning awkwardly and silently eating their cereal, pancakes, toast, and eggs, Mary and John jumped into view, making the three kids all flinch and scream. "Hello children!" Mary happily smiles, John dancing around. "Mom, we're not awake yet" Krissy glumly states as her siblings rapidly nod. "We don't care" John says, making his children cringe. "We have an announcement" Mary smiles. Dean gasps. "You're going on some sort of cliche romantic vacation for the weekend so I can-" his parents glare at him, knowing he was about to say something about throwing a party. "Help the... Elderly...." Dean awkwardly finishes. "Better" Mary says. "We're going camping!" Mary smiles. "So I'm in charge??" Dean smiles. "Not just your father and I" Mary smiles. "All of us! As a family!" The kids all drop their spoons full of fruit loops they were all about to eat. You hear clanks on the floor, and they're just staring at their parents. "Pardon?" Dean asks. "That's right!" John smiles, tearing his shirt off revealing his hairy chest, making the children going "Agh!" And covering their eyes. "Finish eating and pack your stuff. We will be there until tomorrow morning." "But-!" The children start when "Ah, ah, ah!" Mary says, shaking a finger at them. "Deal with it. This is RESTRICTED family bonding time! C'mon! Our activities and vacations are always fun!" She smiles, folding her hands together. "Can't we just camp in the backyard or something?" Dean asks, cringing. "NO" Mary booms, making everyone flinch. "The LAST time we tried that a worm crawled in your fathers pants." "I thought that was pretty funny" Dean says, Krissy and Sam nodding. "Well it wasn't" John says, frowning. "I was traumatized for life. Now finish your soups and pack your things." "We're not eating soups" Sam awkwardly says. "Well you should be! Goodbye" is all John says, before running upstairs, his fat stomach bouncing. The kids start to complain to their mother, Mary shushing them. "The five of us are bonding whether you guys like it or not. Goodbye." And with that she does a cartwheel upstairs.

"This is stupid" Dean says as Sam and him are packing in their room. "Can't mom and dad see that we all bond together by just sitting on the couch and eating? God." Sam nods. "I know. And also, Aria and I were supposed to have a lemonade stand today! Do you know how angry I am?" Sam asks. Dean rolls his eyes. "And 'I' was supposed to hook up with Melissa again today." Sam cringes. "This sucks!" Dean pouts, stomping his foot. "NO COMPLAINING!" They hear their mother yell from another part of the house. The boys are silent, then huff. John honks the horn countless times outside. "COOL IT WITH THE HORN JOHN!!!!!" They hear Mary shout, flinching. "Well let's just get this over with" Dean says. Sam nods. "Don't forget your spandex" Dean tells him. "I gave those up last year and you know it!" Sam yells to him as he frowns, making Dean snicker. "But anyway lets go" Sam says. "Besides-it can't get any worse than this, right?" 

"Dad," Krissy is saying as the five of them were walking to the campsite. John had out a shirt on. "If you had honked the horn five billion times, then WHY ARE WE WALKING?!?" She asks, about to loose it. The rest of the family flinches. "Oh. I just like to honk the horn" John responds nonchalantly. "And you guys wouldn't hurry up, anyway!" "But my phone doesn't get any service out here!" Dean pouts, checking the device. "Mine doesn't either" Sam says. "Same" is all Krissy glumly adds. All of their packs were on their backs and bags and suitcases in their hands. "Guys, could you stop obsessing over your phones for one second?" Mary asks, getting annoyed. "And why'd you guys bring so much STUFF?" "You bought more stuff than us!" Dean protests, frowning. "Yeah!"  
Krissy adds. "HALF of the stuff we're CARRYING, are YOUR things because you're too lazy to!" Mary is just silent. "Oh no" Sam says, suddenly realizing he had forgotten something very important. "My Pokemon cards!" Dean rolls his eyes. "Sammy, no one cares about your poor little pikachu." His eyes then widen. "Oh no! My porn mags! Dad! We have to go back!" "Oh you guys are such BABIES" Krissy says. "Me, being the responsible thirteen year old girl I am, had bought everything I needed." "Got your pads, Krissy?" Mary protectively asks. The men in the family almost puke, Krissy growing enraged. "YES, MOM!" She yells. "MUST YOU ASK THAT NOW?!" "Man, she really is on her period" Sam murmurs. "WHAT WAS THAT?!" Krissy demands to him. "N-nothing!" They had walked the rest of the way to the campground in silent.   
"We're here!" John smiles. "Mary, get out the box" he instructs her. "What BOX?" Sam asks as he cringes, confused. Mary pulls out a shoe box. "Children, give us your phones" she says. "WHAT?!" The three of them ask. "Like I said before, this is RESTRICTED family bonding time! And it's not like your phones have service out here anyway." The children sigh, taking out their phones. "I can't do this" Dean then says, shoving it down his pants. "Dean!" Mary scolds. "Your phone! Now!" "No!" Dean says, taking it out of his pants and holding it tight. "It's too precious!" "John hold the box" Mary groans to her husband, handing him the item. "Give. It!" Mary grunts, trying to pull the phone from Dean. "No!" He says like a three year old. "I need to look at my porn to make it through the night!" They start to pull the phone back and fourth, Sam Krissy and John all just silently watching. "That's it!" Mary yells, snatching the phone from her eldest son, and putting it in HER pants. "Now if you want this phone back then you'll have to reach down my pants" she says. The children crinkle their foreheads. "Sam, Krissy, you want your phones to through the traumatic experience of my pants, too?" She asks, looking at them. "No" they both sacredly say at the same time. "I'll take the box" Sam says. "Same" Krissy adds in a shaky voice. "Good choice" Mary says, taking their phones and dropping them in the shoe box. She takes Deans out of her pants and does the same. She duct tapes the box closed. "Now we will only be using your FATHERS and I's phones to talk to grandma and grandpa and to post pictures on Facebook." The children cringe. "Now let's start a fire!" John smiles. "Dad, we're in broad daylight" Krissy awkwardly says. "I don't care. We're gonna roast weenies whether you guys want to or not!"  
"Dad, I have a lighter if you just want to-" Dean is saying to John who is kneeling on the ground trying to start a fire by rubbing two sticks together. "I got it" John grunts. The sticks create a spark, leading to a fire. "Ooh!" John smiles, looking at it. He stands up, dropping one of the flaming sticks on his foot, his shoe catching fire. "AAAAAGHHH!!!" He screams, his family just blankly staring. John then runs towards the edge of the lake they are near and he jumps in. The others watch as he's under water for a few seconds, then comes back up panting. "I'm alright" he breathes. "Oh, Johnny!" Mary says dramatically, putting her hands to her face. "DON'T CALL ME-" he coughs-"JOHNNY!" He finishes. "Oh, let me help you out!" She says, running over. As Mary tries to pull him out as she grunts, the kids just watching. "Let's just get some logs and set it with my lighter" Dean says. The kids had eventually started a fire, roasting and eating marshmallows, until the nighttime. Mary finally pulls John out hours later from when he had fallen in. They stand at the edge, looking at their kids roasting marshmallows. John gasps. "YOU'RE ROASTING MARSHMALLOWS WITHOUT US?!" Mary asks, flabbergasted. "Relax" Dean says. "There's still hot dogs." "They're CALLED weenies" Mary says. "Whatever" her kids respond simultaneously. "Mom, can we PLEASE have our phones back?!" Sam eagerly asks. Dean scoffs. "Aw, please Sammy the only reason you want your phone back is so that you can talk to your PRECIOUS SPENCER" Dean teases. "SHUT UP!" Sam yells. The boys then get into a verbal argument, until Krissy shouts "HEY! HEY! HEYYYY!!!" The boys flinch and go silent. "I don't need this" Dean says, pulling up his Busty Asian Beauty magazine up to his face out of nowhere. It's Sam's turn to scoff. "Well 'I' bet that you couldn't live without your precious PORNOGRAPHY!" He says. Dean scoffs and looks at him. "Sammy, it's just called PORN. Get it right, dumbass." Sam rolls his eyes. "How are you even going into your SENIOR year?" He asks. "How are you so ANNOYING?" Dean asks back. That's when Sam torches his own stick and sets Deans magazine to flames. It burns to ashes, falling to the dirt. Dean screams, Krissy rolling her eyes at both of her annoying brothers. "ENOUGH!!!!" Mary shouts in her most deepest and scariest voice she can make. That makes everyone jump and go silent. "NOW IF YOU CHILDREN DON'T SHUT UP, AND EAT IN SILENCE, AS YOUR FATHER AND I SET UP THE TENT, WE ARE GOING HOME!!! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?!?" She booms to the skies. "Well, yeah actually" the kids start to say again, all talking and murmuring at once. "ENOUGH!!!" Mary booms again. "NOW I-" they then hear a twig snap. "What was that" she then asks in her normal voice. They hear a growl. "Mom..." Krissy trails off. They all freeze. "Is that a bear...?" Mary asks. "Why is there a bear here??" Sam asks. "Here. I'll search it up on my phone" John says, taking it out of his pocket. The kids face palm. "Are you kidding me" Krissy breathes. "It was probably you screaming at everyone" Dean tells Mary, pointing at her. Mary frowns. "It says here on Wikipedia," John starts, the kids all rolling their eyes. "That bears are attracted to fishy smells, and blood." John and the boys just shrug and murmur gibberish, when Mary's eyes widen and look at Krissy. "KRISSY GOT HER PERIOD RUN!!!!!" She shouts in her deep voice again. That just causes the bear to run AFTER them. "RUN!" John shouts. Dean has no choice but to pick up his siblings, John and Mary grabbing everyone's stuff. Sam grips the shoe box tight and they all run like there's no tomorrow. You can hear their screams from miles away. 

"Nice going Krissy!" Dean is yelling to her as they're all walking in the woods, away from the bear. "You just HAD to get your period." Krissy frowns. "Wh-hey it's not MY fault! I can't control it!" Deans silent. "I thought you could..." Mary and Krissy face palm. "Wait you can't control it?" Sam asks, thinking the same. "Some world" John murmurs. Krissy groans. "Yeah, guys. Because women WANT to get their period." "Oh..." The men say together. "Well, let's just stop here" John says, Mary and him stopping in the middle of the woods. The children stop too, but are confused. "Wait. I thought we were walking HOME" Dean says. "Not in this hour. It's ten at night. Too dark. Let's just camp out here in the middle of the woods and then walk back to the house in the morning.   
"But-!" The kids start when "Ah, ah, ah!" Mary says, pointing a finger at them. "No buts. Now get some rest. You guys MUST be tired from all the moving." The parents set up sleeping bags for all of them and they plop down on theirs next to each other, snoring loudly. "Like we're gonna be able to sleep with them snoring like that" Dean grumbles to his siblings, gesturing his hand towards his parents. "Guys" Sam whispers, pointing to the shoe box next to johns stomach. "The shoe box." They all smile, Dean starting to reach for it. But once he even touches it John and Mary start to scream in their sleep, John even making monkey noises. They all flinch and Dean pulls away. Their parents go back to snoring. Dean huffs. "Are you kidding me?" Krissy asks. Dean touches the shoe box again with his finger, the screaming proceeding. He takes it off. The screaming stops. He then quickly does it again three more times until Sam gets impatient. "Enough!" He shout whispers. He then stares at the rope in John's bag. "I have an idea..."   
After the kids had tied their parents high up in a tree still in their sleeping bags, Dean grabbed the shoe box. The parents still screamed, but even if they woke up they wouldn't be able to get down. So the kids grabbed their things, their phones out of the box, and ran out of the woods onto the street. "We can't just leave them hanging from a tree, ya boobs" Krissy tells her brothers. "Hm" says Dean. "You're right." So, they had written a note on a leaf next to John's nose.   
"Dear mom and dad,  
We went somewhere else. We left your phones on the dirt below, so once you somehow get down from there just call us. Love,  
Krissy Sam and Dean.  
^Dean Sam and Krissy sound better-Dean."  
"So where do we go from here?" Krissy asks her brothers as they're out on the street again. "We don't even know where the house could be." "Good point" Sam says. "The house could be miles from here" Dean adds. Sam gasps and smiles. "I know a house that isn't far from here!"  
"Who?"  
"Hey Sam!" Aria smiles once she answers her phone. "Hey Aria" Sam says. That's when Krissy grumbles "Aw geez" and Dean rolls his eyes and breathes "Seriously." "You were supposed to have a lemonade stand with me today. I've been trying to call you" Aria says suspiciously. "What happened?" She asks. Sam had seen the forty two missed calls from Aria when he had turned his phone on. "Well you see, long story short, my parents made me my siblings go camping with them and they took our phones away. and now they're asleep in the woods and me Krissy and Dean need a place to stay until the morning. And where we are isn't that far from your place. Can we stay with you? Please?"  
"Sure! But I'm sorta having a sleepover if you guys don't mind."  
"Uh with who, exactly?"

"Ew" Allison said, cringing at the Winchester children as they all stood in arias room. Emily gave Krissy googly eyes, making Krissy herself cringe. Spencer smiled and waved at Sam, Sam doing so back. Hanna waved at the siblings, smiling, chocolate from the chocolate bar she was eating in her teeth. Aria clapped her hands together and smiled. "Well, guys, since my parents are out of town you can all sleep in their bed if you like. Because I have the other girls sleeping on the floor in here. Make yourselves at home. Teehee!"   
"I'm sleeping on the floor" Krissy tells her brothers as they open the door to Aria's parents Byron and Ella's room. They then found Mike sleeping on the comforter like a guard dog, snoring. He even had a spike collar around his neck. Between each snore he breathed "All you Winchesters." The siblings froze. "Well, I'm sleeping in the tub" Sam whispers, starting to make his way over to the bathroom that's connected to Ella and Byron's room. Dean grabs his shoulder. "Wait" he whispers. "No man left behind." "I'm a girl" Krissy whispers to them. "Whatever. Uh I'm sleeping on the couch downstairs." "Then where am 'I' supposed to sleep?!" Krissy whisper shouts. "Uh you, you can sleep on the kitchen table" Sam says, pointing and looking at her. Krissy glares at him. "Just sleep in the tub in the HALL bathroom" Dean tells her. "No way! What if EMILY comes in and tries to CUDDLE with me?!" "Then sleep in the attic!" Sam tells her. "No way there's monsters up there!" She says. The bros face palm. "Well just ask the girls if you can sleep in Aria's room with them! I mean, you're a girl" Sam whispers to her. Krissy huffs. "Wait" Dean says. "How come MIKE isn't sleeping in HIS room??" Dean asks. "Huh. You're right" Sam says. "I'll just sleep in there. Krissy sleep with the girls and Dean sleep on the couch."  
When Sam walked up to Mike's closed door, there was a sign that said "NO WINCHESTERS ALOUD" in big giant red letters. "Geez" Sam whispers. "And he should really get his grammar right!" He whispers to himself. He creaks open the door, afraid some sort of ALARM is going to go off. Thankfully none did. He sighs of relief, and makes his way in. The walls were painted navy blue, and there were a bunch of heavy death metal screamo band posters everywhere. There was even a DARTBOARD with last years Winchester family Christmas photo hung onto so, a bunch of darts stuck to it. One was straight through Sam's face. Sam cringed. There was little green army men toys, games of jacks, and red barrel moneys all over the floor. Sam accidentally steps on a red monkey, a booming chimpanzee noise going off. He flinches, praying that Mike didn't wake up. He THEN steps on a green army man, booming machine gun noises going off. Careful not to step on anything else, Sam made his way to Mike's bed with Star Wars sheets with Yoda's face all over them and lays down.   
Krissy was trying to sleep in Aria's room that the girls had let her stay in with them. She heard the other girls talking, but didn't really care. She then felt someone's presence above her face, and her eyes snapped open to Emily's smiling face. She screams, the other girls looking over. Aria frowns. "Emily!" She scolds. "Krissy is trying to SLEEP! Now come over here and gossip with us!" Emily whimpers, obeying. Once she hears the girls starting to talk again, Krissy sighs and lays back down. But then she opens her eyes and Emily's smiling at her again. "That's it!" She screams, making everyone flinch. The other girls go silent, and look over. "I'm sleeping in the hall" she says, walking out of the room. A minute later as she's trying to do so she hears Mike's voice singing "Oh I'm walking down the hall, walking down the hall, down the hall..." Her eyes shoot open. But before she can even hide, his stinky hairy foot is stepping on her. They both yelp out and look at each other. "AHH! WINCHESTER!" Mike yells. He wasn't wearing his spike collar anymore. "Where are the others" he then asks in a deep menacing voice, pulling her by her shirt and pulling her close to him. "I ain't tellin' ya!" Krissy says, trying her best to protect her brothers. "TELL ME!!!!!" Mike yells in the same voice. "No!" Krissy says. "Fine then" Mike says. "I see how it is. Then I guess I'll just go looking for them." "No! Please" Krissy begs. "If you don't want me looking for them, then you're gonna have to gimme a little somethin' somethin'." Krissy cringes. "What?" Krissy asks, crinkling her forehead, thinking she knew where he was going with this. Mike then took off lip balm, and puckered his lips, starting to smear the lip balm on so. Krissy crinkles her forehead again. "Kiss me Krissy" Mike says. "No! You hate me!" She responds. "I just hate the rest of your family" he tells her. "How does that make ANYTHING better?!" She asks. "Listen, babe. May I call you babe?" He asks, putting his hand on her shoulder. "No. And get your hand OFF of me or you won't HAVE one in the next two seconds!" She threatens. "One, two" Mike slowly counts, before taking his hand off. Krissy huffs. "Krissy, I've always had a...Soft spot for you" Mike admits. She cringes again. "Mike, I'm not kissing you."  
"Then let me touch your boobs!"  
"NO! Leave!"  
"Fine then" Mike says. "Then looks I'll have to call my momma and tell her that you and your brothers are here without her and my dad's permission. And then you'll have NOWHERE to go." Krissy then formed a plan. "Alright" she smiles. "I'll kiss you. Come with me so we can be alone." Mike smiles. "Close your eyes." Mike does so and Krissy leads him down the stairs. Dean was sleeping on the couch like he said he was going to, and was snoring extra loud. Krissy sees a confused look on Mikes face his eyes still closed, and she throws a pillow at Dean so he would stop, scared Mike would get the idea. Dean thankfully stopped, Krissy leading Mike to the slide door in the kitchen. She unlocks it without a sound. "Okay, here it comes" she smiles. "Yes ma'am" Mike smiles flirtatiously. Krissy opens the slide door and pushes him out on the patio. She closes it and locks it. Mike's eyes shoot open. "Hey!" He screams through the glass. "Kiss the shrub" is all Krissy says. "Listen here you little-" Mike starts to say, putting his fist in the air. But Krissy interrupts him by pulling the shades across the glass so no one could see him. She ran back upstairs, taking her sleeping bag, and going back into Aria's room. The girls were still talking. "Hey. I locked Mike outside if that's alright" she tells Aria. A rainstorm then starts, thunder booming. They hear rain pour down. Aria's silent. "Oh. That's alright" she says breezily.   
As Krissy's fast asleep five minutes later, the girls are still gossiping. "So Spencer give us the dirt on you and Sam" Hanna smiles. All the girls except Spencer and Ali giggle. "Yeah is he your boyfriend?" Hanna smiles. "I SAW you guys holding hands on the ride back from the party in Melissa's car. How did your date go?" Aria asks. Spencer's silent. "We kissed." Ali rolls her eyes as the other girls besides Spencer go crazy. Spencer laughs. Krissys eyes shoot open. "You kissed my brother?" She asks looking at Spencer. Ali starts to write in her fantabulous diary, the other girls smiling. "Too gross to imagine?" Spencer smiles. "No, actually. Mike wanted to touch my boobs earlier. NOTHING. Grosses me out anymore." "I'm gonna have to have a stern talk with him" Aria says confidently, looking forward. "Well I just wanted to say, that if you hurt him..." Spencer then thinks that she's gonna give her some sort of stern protective sibling talk when "Call me 'cause I want to watch." Spencer's face falls flat. "Well if I were to break your brothers heart then I thought you would feel bad for him but alright" she murmurs. "Oh. No" Krissy corrects. "I meant PHYSICALLY. It's always fun to see my brothers in pain." That makes the girls laugh, except for Allison who's still writing. "And if you DO hurt him emotionally then I'll break your arm" Krissy then says casually as thunder strikes, lightning shining on Krissy, scaring Spencer. Spencer's eyes widen. "Alright then..." Thunder strikes again as Krissy plops down to sleep. Ali plops down to sleep too, out of nowhere. "So is he your boyfriend or not?" Hanna asks. Spencer smiles. "I don't know. Our date was ONLY last night. And Aria YOU said that he said his parents took his phone away. So we haven't really had a chance to talk about it." "Well would your parents allow it?" Emily asks. Spencer tenses. "I haven't talked to my dad about it yet because he's still on his business trip. But my mom... She doesn't want me seeing him." The girls gasp. "Oh my gosh!" Aria says, putting her hands to her face. "That's ABUSRD!" Emily yells. Hanna nervously eats her chocolate bar, awkwardly roaming her eyes across the room. "And I doubt my DAD will either because, well, you know: he's my DAD. And dad's are ALWAYS protective with boys." The others nod. "Well why doesn't your mom approve?" Aria asks. "Is it because of Dean cheating on Melissa last year?" Emily asks. "No, Melissa says she and him are just friends with benefits now. My mom just thinks that Sam's gonna try to invite me in his bed or something." They get the idea and widen their eyes. "Oh..." Aria says. "Well she should KNOW that he's not like that! Sam's not a pervert." "I know" Spencer says. "If he wants to TOUCH me, he either just puts his arm around me or squeezes my hand. NOT my breast" she says, pointing a finger at them. "But apparently that's what's your mother thinks" Emily says. Spencer nods. "But I don't care what she says. I REALLY like him. And I don't care what anyone thinks of us." "Aw, that's cute" Aria smiles. "Teens in love" Emily jokes. Spencer snickers. She looks down at sleeping Ali and is silent. "When I told Allison me and Sam were going out... She wasn't so happy about it..." She says awkwardly, looking up. "Spencer, you have to stop caring what Ali thinks" Emily tells her. "Yeah. And you just SAID that you don't care what anyone else thinks" Hanna says. Spencer nods. "That is true. We should all get some sleep. It's almost midnight."   
Around 2AM, the rainstorm woke Krissy up. She saw the other girls all sound asleep and she rubs her eyes. She then notices Ali's diary, next to Ali's sleeping bag. Krissy stares at it for a moment. Once Krissy heard her say "Ew" once she Sam and Dean got there, Krissy grew suspicious. She wondered what she had written in her last entry. Krissy slowly went over like a snake, and snatched it. Krissy got the duct tape her and her brothers used to tie their parents to the tree and taped Ali's sleeping mask over her eyes, and Ali to her sleeping bag, just incase. Krissy used the light from her phone to read her last entry.  
"Dear fantabulous diary of mine:  
The Winchesters are here. Ewwwwwwwwwwww-"  
The "Ew" went on for eight more pages, Krissy flipping each page over impatiently with a cringe. It finally continuted:  
"I cannot BELIEVE Spencer is into Sam. HE'S A FREAK!"  
Krissys mouth dropped open. Ali hates Sam? "AND SO IS HIS FAMILY! AND THAT WEIRD SISTER THEY HAVE! Crystal or whatever her name is." Krissy frowns. "But I have a plan to break Sam and Spencer up. At exactly 2:07 AM tonight, I'll sneak into his room and try to get him to bang me. Because ALL the guys wanna bang me. And if THAT doesn't work, then I have a plan B.   
Love Ali D." She then had kissed the paper, showing a lipstick print. Krissy cringes. She looks at Aria's alarm clock. It was 2:05. Ali was duct taped, so Krissy didn't worry. She closed her diary and slid it back right where it was before. But then she realized she forgot something: she had to change her pad.   
After Krissy had changed her pad in the bathroom, she was about to leave and go back to sleep, when she heard heavy breathing coming from behind the shower curtain. She squinted. Mike. She cringed, embarrassed that he heard-and smelled-her change her pad. But then she grabbed a toothbrush off the sink, prepared to shove it up his ass when she pulled the curtain back. "A-HA!" She yelled once she saw soaking wet and mud covered Mike behind the curtain, breathing heavily. "I WILL KISS YOU KRISSY WINCHESTER!" He yells. "I WILL!" And with that he attacks her. She shrieks. "GET OFF OF ME!!"  
"KISS ME!"   
"NO!!!"  
"THEN LET ME TOUCH YOUR ASS!"  
"YOU SAID BOOBS BEFORE!!"  
"WELL NOW I WANNA TOUCH YOUR ASS!!!!!"   
"FIRST EMILY NOW YOU WHAT THE HELL MAN?!"  
And with that Krissy shoves the toothbrush his ass. "AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!" Mike screams like a girl. That just makes EVERYONE else wake up and run to where they are. You can hear chimpanzee noises and gun fires from Sam stepping on the barrel monkeys and army men. They all appear in the doorway, some duct tape stuck to Ali, for she was fuming. "How did she get out of that so fast?" Krissy thinks. "WHAT HAPPENED?!" Aria asks, the girls' hairs a mess. "I shoved a toothbrush up Mike's ass" Krissy says like it's the most casual thing ever. "WHAT?!" They all ask. "Krissy!" Dean starts to scold. "That is-" "Well he was trying to touch my BOOBS!" Krissy interrupts. "AND your ass" Mike adds. Sam grits his teeth and Dean is silent. "A LOVELY action of self defense bravo" Dean finishes. "You little punk I swear I'll-" Sam starts to say to Mike when "Let's see if we can get it out" Aria says, pushing Sam out of the way and making her way over to Mike. The toothbrush wouldn't budge. She grunts. "It's stuck!" She says. She tries several more times, but no progress. Mike even tried to fart it out, but that wouldn't work either. And no one really wanted him to try it again, either. "Well I can't just walk around for the rest of my life with a TOOTHBRUSH stuffed up my ass!" Mike cries. "And that was MY toothbrush! How am I gonna CRAP?" "Sam, Dean" Aria says, looking at them. "You're guys. Why don't YOU try pulling it out?" The bros have no choice but to sigh and walk over. They grab onto it. "One, two, THREE!" Dean says.  
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"  
"Mike, we didn't even pull it out yet" Dean says awkwardly. "I know. I'm just preparing for when you DO pull it out." But when brothers tried to pull it out, it didn't budge. Aria groans. "Oh, this is crazy. We're gonna have to take him to the ER." That just makes Mike yelp out. "Mom and dad left us emergency money."   
Since there was eight people, they all had to drive in the Montgomery families mini van. "Nice going Krissy!" Dean is telling her as he's driving, Sam in the passengers seat, mike and Krissy in the other two seats, and the five other girls in the very back. "You just HAD to grow boobs."  
"Dean, I can't control THAT either."  
"Oh..."  
That just made all the girls face palm.   
"Guys!" Mike cries. "I'm very uncomfortable!"  
"GOOD" is all Krissy says flatly.   
"Hi" Aria says, carrying mike as her and everyone else rushed into the ER. "He has a toothbrush up his anus." The nurse is silent. "Get him on a gurney" is all she says in a serious deep tone. That just makes Mike whimper. Two doctors pull up a gurney and Aria says "Don't worry Mikey. The doctors will get the toothbrush out" before putting him on. Mike screamed the whole time the doctors pushed him away.   
"Doctor how is he?" Aria asks as she and everyone else all stand up from sitting in the waiting room ten minutes later. The nurse sighs. "Well you see, Miss Montgomery, Michelangelo is going to need... Serious surgery..." It's intensely silent. Until DEAN starts to burst out laughing. "Michelangelo?! That's his full name?" He smiles, before continuing to laugh. "Dean stop laughing" Sam groans. Dean clears his throat and is silent. "I-I mean oh dear" he says. "Surgery?!" Aria cries. "Yes. The toothbrush is very...Up there. So we're gonna have to cut up his buttocks and get it out." "Well how long should it last?" Aria asks. "No one knows. But pay up."   
After Aria had given them all the money they had, they had left Mike for surgery and went back to Aria's. "Now everyone just go to sleep, okay?!" Aria asks, once they walk through the front door. "And pray for Mike. This is a really tragic time."   
As everyone except Spencer who's getting water starts to walk back upstairs Dean grabs Sam and pulls him into Mikes room. He closes the door. "What?!" Sam asks, annoyed, glaring at him. Dean is looking around Mike's room. "Some boy" he murmurs, before looking back at his brother. "Spencer's down in the kitchen" he states in a smile. "So?" Sam asks. "SO, go get some!" Dean yells. "What?! No!" Sam says, frowning. "Oh, come on. You know you want some" Dean teases. Sam rolls his eyes. "Oh come on at least kiss her again! Go!" Dean says. "But Dean! Wait! I'm in footsie pajamas!" Sam is saying. But Dean is already opening the door and pushing Sam out of the room. Sam looks down at the railing and sees Spencer drinking from a cup. He sighs, walking down into the kitchen. "Hey Spencer" he says. She looks over and smiles. "Oh! Hey Sam." "I was just..." Sam trails off, looking at the cupboard. "Getting some water." He opens the cupboard and takes a cup out. "Me too" Spencer smiles, holding her cup up. Sam chuckles, and he starts to get water from the dispenser on the fridge. It's going really slow, and it's awkwardly silent between the two of them. Dean who is watching from the staircase, face palms and grumbles gibberish. "Man this thing is slow" Sam awkwardly smiles. Spencer chuckles. It's so dark that Sam doesn't see the water overflow. "Oh" Spencer says, pointing it out. "Oh" Sam says back, looking down and taking the cup away from the dispenser. He accidentally spills some water on the floor. "Aw. Crap" Sam mutters, Spencer running over to the sink and getting a paper towel. "Here"  
She says as Sam kneels down. She kneels down across from him, starting to wipe the mess. "I-it's okay I can do it" Sam stammers. "No it's fine I... Got it..." Spencer says. Sam notices Dean and looks at him, frowning. He's pretty sure Dean mouths something to him about kissing her, but Sam looks back at her. They both smile, as Sam leaves the paper towel on the floor, and stands up. Spencer stands up also. "Listen, Sam..." Spencer says awkwardly. Sam's heart speeds up. "My mom..." Spencer trails off. Sam looks at her. "Isn't very happy with us seeing each other." Deans eyes widen, and Sam drops the glass, it breaking on the floor. Spencer and him just look down at it for a few seconds, then back at each other. Sam's mouth opens, but no words come out. "But that won't stop me" Spencer says. Sam closes his mouth and becomes relieved. "Because I don't care what anyone else thinks" Spencer adds. Sam smiles. "I don't care what anyone else thinks either." Spencer smiles at him. "Do your parents know?" She asks. "Barely. But they won't care" Sam says. Spencer smiles. "Uh where ARE your parents anyway?" Spencer asks. Sam is silent until "Oh. Just... Ya know somewhere else hey we should clean this glass up." John and Mary were gonna be pissed in the morning, and were probably already woken up by the storm that had recently ended. After Sam and Spencer had cleaned the glass up, Spencer says "Well we should probably get some sleep." Dean runs into the upstairs bathroom so Spencer won't find him when she's walking back up the stairs. "Yeah" Sam smiles. "Goodnight Spencer." "Night Sam" Spencer smiles. And with that all he can do is squeeze her hand, smile, and walk back up the stairs. Spencer blushes once his back is turned. Once Sam is back in Mike's  
room sleeping, and Spencer back in Arias room, Dean jumps on the couch and goes to sleep. "You and Sam were down there for a long time" Krissy teases once Spencer walks back into the room. Every girl besides Ali and Spencer giggles. "Oh shut up" Spencer smiles. "We were just talking." "Right" Emily teases. Every girl but Ali laughs. "Krissy can I talk to you in the hall for a second?" Ali asks tightly, looking at her. "Sure..." Krissy responds, unsure. Once they're both in the hall, and Arias door is closed, Ali says "Listen freak." Krissy frowns. "What do you want, Allison?" She asks. "I KNOW you were the one that duct taped me to my sleeping bag." "It was a harmless prank" Krissy responds in an innocent voice. Ali scoffs. "Right, shrimp." "Sam is the only one that's allowed to call me that!" Krissy yells. "And I KNOW you're planning to break him and Spencer up. I read your fantabulous little diary." Allison grits her teeth. "That is an invasion of privacy, bitch!" She says. "Whatever. I don't know what makes you hate us Winchesters, Ali, but you can't take us down. We're one strong family. And you'll never break Sam and Spencer apart. Not if I have anything to say about it." "Are you threatening me?" Ali asks. "Maybe. But I'm gonna go to sleep now. Try not to put my hand in warm water. Goodnight, Ali." And with that she walks back into the room and closes the door. Ali shrieks in frustration. And as again,   
she felt defeated.


	6. Crazy

Around 4AM, Sam shot up from an awkward and somewhat interesting dream he had just had. He pants and looks around. He looks at the alarm clock on mikes night side table and sighs. He drops his face into his pillow, hoping to never have that dream-or another one like it-again.   
Four hours later, Dean woke up on the couch. He quietly checked the girls room and saw that they were all still sleeping. He also saw that Allison's face had been drawn on. A mustache, beard, and on her forehead it said "I SUCK." He thinks "Krissy" and just shrugs. He closes the door and walks into Mike's room, seeing Sammy staring up at the ceiling in his bed. "Sammy" he whispers. Sam flinches and looks at him. "Oh. Hey. You scared me." "Sorry" Dean whispers, closing the door and walking over to the bed without stepping on any of the booming toys. "How long have you been up?" He asks. "Not that long. But... I had a really weird dream last night."  
"Oh is this the one where you get your foot stuck in the horse again?"  
"No. Worse."  
"Worse than getting your foot stuck in a horse?" Dean asks.  
Sam frowns. "Yes, Dean."  
"Well what was it?"  
"It was about Allison."  
Dean frowns. "Did she tie you up and blindfold you or something?" He asks. "'Cause I'm pretty sure that girl gives EVERYONE nightmares, Sammy." Sam awkwardly looks up at the ceiling. "In a way..." He murmurs, trailing off. Dean frowns. "I'm confused." Sam huffs and looks at him. "In the dream, me and her DID things. Things that I didn't know were POSSIBLE!" He says. Dean's silent. "Oh... I see..." He says. Sam nods. "So you had a sexy dream about Ali. What's the big deal?" "But why ALI, though?" Sam asks. "She HATES me! And I hate HER! Why couldn't it have been ARIA? Or Emily or Hanna? And why not SPENCER? Me and Spencer are TOGETHER!" "Relax! You're fourteen, Sam. You're gonna have... Dreams. Even about other girls. And Ali IS pretty hot. Just don't get too into her, okay?" Dean tells him. Sam huffs. "You're right. And I was already 'into' her in the dream, if you know what I mean" Sam says, flicking his eyebrows. "Ahhhhhhhhh" the brothers smile, pointing at each other. "But no seriously" Sam interrupts, stopping the moment. "I'll forget about the dream. And Ali, in general. But wait! Does this mean I'm cheating on Spencer in my mind?!" He asks urgently. That just makes Dean laugh. "No, Sammy. This does NOT mean you're cheating on Spencer in your mind" he smiles. "Should I tell her?" Sam asks. "Are you TRYING to get yourself killed?" Dean then seriously asks. Sam's silent. "You're right. You're the only one that'll know about this. Not even Aria will know" he says. "Good deal" Dean says. "Are the girls still asleep?" Sam asks. "Yeah. And I'm pretty sure Krissy drew on Allison's face." Sam laughs. "Well that's Krissy for ya. And maybe if I see Ali like that it'll help me forget about her in that way." Dean nods. "Well I'm gonna go brush my teeth and stuff. I'll see ya." He starts to walk away from the bed. "Wait! Don't step on the-!" Sam is saying, when before they know it a bunch of screaming chimpanzee and machine gun noises are booming. Hopefully it didn't wake the girls up. The brothers are silent for a few seconds once it finally stops. Sam sighs of relief and gets out of the bed. He looks at the sheets and sees a yellow stain. He frowns. "Dean? There's some sort of stain on the sheets." "Relax. It's probably something Mike caused." "No. It wasn't here before" Sam says. "What?" Dean asks, walking over next to him. He notices the stain, and his eyes widen. He's silent, knowing what's going on. "I'm confused" Sam says. Dean bites his lip. And with that, Dean says "Google it" and starts to walk away again. "Wait!" Sam says, when the chimpanzee and gun noises are sounding again. Sam rolls his eyes, and it finally stops. They're silent again. "Is it something that you know about?" Sam asks. "Yes, but I'm not gonna explain it to you" is all Dean says, about to continue to walk out of the room. "Wait! Does it have something to do with...Puberty?" Sam awkwardly asks. "Yeah, but as again, I'm not gonna explain it to you" Dean says remotely. "Wait! Please? You're my older brother. You're SUPPOSED to explain things like this to me!" Sam begs. Dean sighs and rolls his eyes. "Fiiine. But it's gonna gross you out." "Dean, considering the dream I just had I don't think anything will gross me out anymore" Sam tells him. Dean shrugs. "Well that dream you had must've turned you on." "What?" Sam asks, confused. Dean sighs and rolls his eyes again. "I can't believe I'm telling you this" he grumbles. "Oh my God just tell me!!" Sam says impatiently. Dean huffs. "You had a wet dream, Sammy." "Well I have to agree with you on that" Sam murmurs. "No. You don't get it. That dream made your...Joystick rub against the sheets because it made you horny and stuff..." "Well then what's that yellow stuff?" Sam asks. "That's what came OUT of your joystick." "Why?" "BECAUSE THE DREAM TURNED YOU ON YOU IDIOT!" Dean yells. "And also because you had an...Orgasm" Dean tells him. "What is that" Sam asks. Dean rolls his eyes. "You don't know what that is?" He asks, getting annoyed by how little his brother knew about sex and puberty. "It's a pleasurable you feeling get down... There. Anyone can have one. It can happen either during sex or masurbation. PLEASE tell me you know what THAT is." "Relax, Dean. I KNOW what masturbating is. I mean, I've walked in on you doing it like a hundred times." "Exactly" Dean says. "Well do you have an-"  
Sam then took a long time to pronounce the word 'orgasm' right, Dean rolling his eyes. "Yes, Sammy. That's the point of masturbating." "Well then if I had it then how come I didn't feel it?" Sam asks. "Because you had it in your sleep. You weren't awake enough to feel it." "Well would I have WANTED to feel it?" Sam asks. "Yes, Sammy. That's the point I JUST told you it's pleasurable." "Oh..." Sam says. "Well... How can I feel it?" He awkwardly asks. "OH MY GOD I JUST TOLD YOU YOU CAN MASTURBATE TO HAVE ONE" Dean growls at him, making him flinch. "Okay; geez. But... How do you do so?" Sam asks. "Sammy, you JUST SAID that you walked in on me millions of times doing it. HOW could you not know how" Dean says. "Just tell me!" Sam says, getting impatient. Dean huffs. "You-just-rub your joystick until you orgasm." "How will I KNOW when I orgasm though?" Sam asks. "And quit saying the word joystick" he adds, cringing. "You'll just know, Sammy" Dean says. "Well does it feel good?" Sam asks. "YES OH MY GOD" Dean screams to him in anger. "That's probably one of the things you'll say when you have one by the way" he adds smartly, pointing a finger at him. "Have YOU?" Sam asks with a cringe. "No. I saw it in a porn vid'. Duh" Dean says. Sam cringes again. "Oh..." Is all he says. "Oh!" Dean smiles. "Want me to recommend you to some porn sites?" He eagerly smiles. "No, Dean. I'll just stick to masturbating for now."  
"Okay..." They then heard someone scream and they both flinch. "What was THAT?" Sam asks. "Oh" Dean says. "Allison must've found out what Krissy did to her" Dean says.  
When everyone finally woke up, the girls were all downstairs in their jammies eating toaster waffles. Ali had wiped the marker off her face, giving Krissy several dirty looks. The other girls kept reassuring her that it was just a harmless prank, and Krissy even said that in a fake innocent tone herself. But Ali didn't believe so. When Ali even told the others what Krissy had drawn and written, Krissy smiled "Ali, why you must quit lying. Why I wrote POSITIVE things like "I rock" and "Not a slut!'" Dean and Sam walked down all ready for the day, and Sam's eyes widened when he saw Ali. They made eye contact and she cringed. "If you're gonna drool over me, freak, then at least do it until I look fantabulous for the day" she says in a nasty tone. The other girls were all at the fridge and cupboards, so they didn't notice. But Dean did. And when Ali strutted away out of the room, Dean gave him an awkward look. "You guys hungry?" Aria asks. "We got waffles, toast, cereal... Oh but just don't eat the corn pops those are Mike's and he gets very... Mental if you... Just don't eat them." That makes everyone's hair stick up on the back of their necks. "Uh I'll just make myself some toast" Sam says awkwardly. "Do you have lucky charms?!" Dean asks urgently, clenching his fists. "Yup!" Aria smiles. "YAY" Dean says, rushing over to the pantry. "Hanna do you want any toppings on your waffles?" Aria politely asks her. "No. I'll just stack my chocolate bars in between two waffles to make a chocolate sandwich."   
"Okay..."  
As Sam was waiting for his toast to pop up a minute later, Spencer walked up to him. "Hey" she smiles. Sam saw it as a perfect opportunity to get his mind off of Ali. "Morning" he smiles back, squeezing her hand. She smirks. "Did you sleep well?" She asks. That's when Sam freezes, thinking of the dream he had. Spencer then scoffs. "Never mind. That was a... Stupid question" she smiles, making Sam smile and scoff. "Well when I finally fell asleep... Yeah" is all Sam says. Spencer smiles. "Yeah. Me too" she says. "Any word on Mike?" Emily asks Aria, as Dean's stuffing his face with lucky charms. "Hm... No..." Is all Aria says glumly. "But, he'll be fine" she says casually. "Sam can I talk to you alone for a sec?" Allison asks, walking back into the room, out of her jammies and her hair all brushed. That was the same time his toast pops up, making him flinch and yell "Ah!" He freezes, and Dean gives him a serious look. Sam looks at Ali. "Uh... Sure..." Is all he awkwardly says. He follows her to the bathroom and she closes the door. In the kitchen it's awkwardly silent. "So does anyone watch Drake & Josh?" Dean asks. They then all get into a heated discussion about it. Once Ali had closed the door back in the bathroom with Sam, that just made him get an erection and his eyes widen. She just stares at him. At first he thinks she's going to talk to him about Krissy drawing on her face, when "I'm sorry for the way I've been treating you and your family." His erection instantly goes down.  
"What? Y-you were just mean to me five minutes ago!" Sam sputters out. "Well I regret it. I'll be nicer to you guys from now on. Especially you. And I have to say I'm sort of jealous by the chemistry between you and Spencer. She has...really good taste." Sam's just frozen and silent. Did she just flirt with him?   
"Listen, Ali. Uh I don't know what kind of game you're trying to play with me, but you can't steal me away from Spencer. Even though that dream I had-" "Wait. What DREAM?" Ali asks, suspiciously. Sam freezes. "Just... Nothing" he says. "C'mon, Sammy. You can tell me. It'll be our little secret." Sam frowns. "It's already a 'little secret', between DEAN and I. And it'll never be shared between YOU and I" Sam says frostily. "Well whatever it was, maybe I could make it true" she says in a seductive tone. That just make Sam crinkle his forehead, but his heart also skip a few beats. "I could've chopped your head off with an axe, for all you know! So quit it with the tricks, Ali!" He yells, before stomping out.   
Everyone looks at him when he walks out. "What did Ali want?" Dean asks with a mouthful of lucky charms, spitting a marshmallow on his cheek. Sam closes his eyes and throws it on the floor. He opens his eyes again. He's silent. "Nothing. It wasn't important." The phone rings, and Aria picks up on the second ring.  
"Hello?"  
"Oh hey mom!"  
"How'd you hear...?"  
"Oh. Right. I forgot he had twitter. Well okay."   
"It's not MY fault he was HORNY!"  
Everyone cringed at that.  
"Okay. Okay. See you guys soon. Bye."  
She hangs up and turns to everyone. "Dean, Sam, Krissy, my parents heard about Mike's... Accident, so they're coming home early. They're on their way back right now. So... Leave. Bye." "What?" The siblings all ask together. "Well my parents don't KNOW that you stayed over. So you're gonna have to walk back to your place. See ya."   
So the siblings grabbed their stuff, and were ready to go. "Bye guys!" Aria smiles. "I'll talk to you later, Sam." "Bye Krissy!" Emily smiles. Krissy just flips her off. "Bye Spencer" Sam smiles. "Bye Sam" she smiles back. As again, he just squeezes her hand and the siblings leave.   
"Dean, are you sure mom and dad are okay?" Sam asks him as them and Krissy are back at the house, standing in the kitchen. "Relax, Sammy. They're fine! And I can assure you that THEY WON'T be mad at us."  
That's when Mary and John storm in, soaking wet and covered in mud. Mary had a twig in her hair. Their kids are just staring at them. "Oh hey" Dean says casually. "'HEY'?!" John asks. "How DARE you guys tie us in a tree!" "Well you guys kept screaming!" Krissy reasons. "And making monkey noises" Sam adds as Dean nods. "WE DON'T CARE!" Mary shouts, making everyone flinch. "NOW YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO GO UP INTO YOUR ROOMS AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU DID!" Mary screams. The kids silently obeyed. 

Dean and Sam sat on their beds. Sam then noticed that Krissy's bra was on the windowsill again. "Dean, did you take Krissy's bra again?"   
"Maybe..."  
Sam huffs. "I'll give it back to her before she throws a rage" he says, annoyed, getting up. He grabs the bra off the sill and walks to Krissy's room. He knocks before opening the door. "Krissy" he says, peaking his head in. "Dean took your bra again-" That's when he noticed Krissy trying to sneak out the window. She freezes and looks at him. He opens the door all the way, steps in the room, and gasps. "What are you DOING?!" He asks. "Sneaking out. Duh."  
"WHY?!"   
"Would you just be quiet and shut the door?" She asks, irritated. Sam rolls his eyes, sighs, and does so. He drops the bra on the floor. "Why are you sneaking out?" He asks her, annoyance in his tone. "Well mom and dad won't let us go anywhere when they're THIS pissed at us. And I really need to be somewhere."  
"Where?"  
"That's none of your beeswax!" She snaps, before opening her window and jumping onto the tree in front of it. "Krissy! Wait!" Sam says, before she slams it shut. Sam sighs.   
"Dean!" Sam yells, running into their room.  
"What."  
"Krissy's sneaking out!"  
"Really? Where?!"  
"She just said 'none of your beeswax.' Let's follow her." 

Dean and Sam hide behind bushes near an area of woods miles away from their house fifteen minutes later, wearing tree hats. Krissy was standing several feet in front of their bush, her arms crossed. She was impatiently pacing. "It looks like she's waiting for someone" Sam whispers. "But WHO?" Dean whispers back. "Maybe it's that Damien kid from her summer camp she kissed under the moonlight" he adds. Sam just grumbles gibberish. Krissy looked over past the bush, and they heard footsteps behind them. "Someone's coming" Sam whispered. Mona Vanderwal then walked over to Krissy, holding a plastic baggie of...pot. The brothers eyes widened. "What the hell?!" Sam whispers. "Got the money?" Mona asks. "Here" Krissy says, handing her fifty bucks. The boys' mouths drop open. "See ya girl" Krissy says all swag like, before Mona walks away. "AHA!" The boys then shout, jumping out in front of Krissy once Mona was out of sight, making her scream. "The jig's up" Dean smiles. Krissy was shaking, and Sam snatches the bag from her. "WEED, Krissy?!" He asks, holding it up. "MOM AND DAD ARE SO GONNA KILL YOU!" Krissy scoffs. "Oh, they won't care" she spits. "They don't care about half the things we do. The only thing they CARE about, is that we TIED THEM IN A TREE!" "Well, Krissy, as your older brothers we cannot allow you to-" Dean is saying when she just kicks both of their shins and scatters away. "FREEDOOOOOOM!" She screams. Once she was gone, Sam says "This is crazy. We HAVE to tell mom and dad, Dean! She's only going into the seventh grade!" "I know" Dean says. It's silent. "Well...I'm gonna go get a sandwich." He starts to walk away. "Wait!" Sam says, grabbing his wrist. "We have to FOCUS, Dean!" "You're right" Dean says confidently. "We must protect our little sister. Let's go!" They fist pump and run all the way back to the house. They don't care about being busted for sneaking out, and just storm through the front door. They throw down their tree hats on the floor. "MOM!" They both scream, stomping into the kitchen. But that's when they see Mary and John THEMSELVES smoking the pot, sitting at the kitchen table, Krissy just standing next to the table, her arms crossed. The boys' mouth drop open. "Dad...?" Dean awkwardly asks. "Now I REALLY want a donut" John says, taking the pipe from his lips. "What is going on?!" Sam asks. "Me and mom and dad had an agreement that I could where make up if I got their weed for them" Krissy says casually, starting to put on mascara, looking into a mini mirror. "But you said-!" Sam starts to say "Oh that was only to get your boxers in a bunch, ya boobs" Krissy spits. "So you don't smoke weed?!" Sam asks. Krissy scoffs. "Do I look like a CRACKHEAD TO YOU?" She asks sassily, pointing to herself with her mascara stick. "No..." Dean says shyly. "But this is still BAD!" Sam says, pointing to her parents. "They're friggin' stoned!"   
"Oh relax" Krissy says. "They only do it once a month. Plus they're totally laid back when they're high!" She says, before grinning. "Mom, can I get my eyebrows done tomorrow?" She asks, turning to Mary. "Why sure, honey!" She smiles. "See?" Krissy asks, turning to her brothers. Sam's eyes then widen, deciding to try it out. Dean pulls him aside, and whispers "What are you gonna ask them?"  
"Oh believe me" Sam says. "Something wild."  
"Mom, can Aria and I have a lemonade stand? Please?" Sam asks, folding his hands together. Dean just face palms and Krissy rolls her eyes.   
"No. It's too dangerous" John says. Sam frowns in confusion, but just stomps upstairs, grumbling "So misunderstood."   
Later that day, Dean and Sam sat on their beds again, arms crossed. "I am so disappointed in our parents!" Sam yells. "I know" Dean agrees. "Why can't they just drink VODKA?" He asks, annoyed. "I mean, 'I' do" he adds. "Dean, that would still be bad" Sam says when "Wait what?" He asks, realizing what he just said. Dean shrugs. "Where ARE mom and dad, anyway?" Sam asks. They suddenly heard faded pop music coming from downstairs. Their door is closed. "Oh if they threw a party I swear..." Sam grumbles, trailing off, clenching his fists. They got off their beds, walking out of their room, and downstairs.   
They found John and Mary playing Just Dance 3 on the Wii they had, hooked up to their television set. The volume was turned up all the way, the music booming. "Go, Johnny!" Mary smiles, as they're both dancing to Price Tag. "Don't call me Johnny!" John says, frowning, as they still dance. Their eyes weren't red, so they couldn't have been high anymore. "Mom" Sam said, trying to get her attention.   
They just kept on dancing. "Mom!!" Sam screams louder, jumping up and down, waving his arms back and fourth like a dork. Dean huffs. "That's it" he says, before walking upstairs. "What are you doing?!" Sam calls out to him, raising his voice over the music.  
"Hold on."   
Seconds later, Dean came down with a brown paper bag that held something inside. "What's in the bag?" Sam asks. Dean walks over to where the Wii is set up, and takes the item out of the bag. It was a bottle of vodka. Sam just stares at him. "Told you I drank vodka" Dean says, before pulling the cork off with his teeth and pouring the whole bottle on the wii console, causing the game to stop, and smoke rise out of the console. He drops the bottle and cork on the floor, glass shattering everywhere. Mary and John started to yell things like "Heyyyyyy" and "What was that for?!" At them, spreading their arms out. "I was just about to beat my high score!" John pouts. "Yeah! I was kicking your fathers booty!" Mary adds. "What are you guys DOING?!" Dean asks them. "Playing Just Dance 3..." John tells them quietly.   
"WHY?!" Sam asks, crinkling his forehead. "Oh, why honey ever since we got the game last year me and your father play it once a month, when you kids aren't around. You guys were up in your room, so we figured why not!"  
"Well you made us DESTROY our wii! How am I supposed to play Wii Sports Resort now?!" Sam asks frantically. "Well, since you guys ARE the ones that destroyed it, you boys are going to get summer jobs" John states. "What?!" The boys ask together. "Wai-wai-wai-whoa whoa whoa!" Sam says, holding his arms out. "DEAN was the one that poured his vodka all over the console!" "Thanks a lot, Sammy" Dean groans. "You drink VODKA?!" Mary booms to Dean, making him and Sam flinch. "Y-you guys smoke POT!" Dean yells, frowning, gesturing his arm at them. "We don't care" John says flatly. "BOTH of you are getting jobs to pay for a new wii. Now go up to your rooms! Again!" John yells, pointing to the staircase. "Now me and your mother are going to pick up this broken glass with our bare hands" he adds. So Sam and Dean just cringe and do as they're told.  
"Owe this glass is hurting my hand!"   
"Lemme kiss your boo-boo, Johnny!"  
"I TOLD YOU TO NEVER CALL ME JOHNNY!"  
That was all that was heard before they shut the door to their room.  
Eventually, ten minutes later, Sam was sorting through his Pokemon cards, checking to make sure he had all 736 of them. But once he counted them all in thirty seconds, he only had 734. He gasps. "Dean! Two of my Pokemon cards are missing!!" He yells frantically, sitting on his bed. "Well relax NERD I didn't take them" Dean says, annoyed, sitting on HIS bed, watching porn on his laptop. "Now if you're gonna cry at least do it silently. I'm trying to watch my busty Asian beauties." "YOU HAVE TO HELP ME FIND THEM!!!!!" Sam frantically shouts at the top of lungs, making Dean flinch and close his eyes in anger. He opens them. "Sam. Chill. It's not the end of the world. Where the hell could they have possibly GONE?!"   
"Momma! Papa!" Sam yells to Mary and John, speeding up to them like he was a human motor bike, as they sat at the kitchen table drinking tea. "Have you seen two of my Pokemon cards?! Misha and Cornelius?!"   
John suddenly burps. "Oops. I ate Cornelius" he states. "Oh well" he says. "Who wants pie?" He smiles. "ME!" Dean yells, making Sam flinch, suddenly pulling up a shiny pair of silverware, and wearing a fancy bib. "No! Corey!!!" Sam yells, kneeling down on the ground and looking up at the ceiling, holding his arms out. Lightning strikes, though it wasn't even raining out. "Dad, why would you eat Corey" Sam sadly asks John, standing up and looking at him. His eye twitches, scaring John. "Well I was HIGH! And your mom ate all the fried chicken!" John tells him. Sam just sighs as Dean rolls his eyes. Sam glares at Mary, and she just giggles. "Well where's Misha?!" Sam asks, looking at John. "Oh. I gave him to Krissy" Mary pipes up.  
"WHY?!"  
"Well son, let's just say, that she ran out of pads..."  
"AH! MISHA! You have been forced to face the wrath of my sisters vagina!" Sam yells out, as if the card could hear him.  
And with that he runs upstairs like a human motor bike again.  
"Krissy!" Sam yells, storming into her room. "What, lame-o?" Krissy asks as she sits on her bed, annoyed. "You have my Misha!"  
"Oh. Yeah. Your Pokemon card. Uhh I threw it out."   
"What?! Why?!"  
Dean walks into the room, standing behind Sam. "Well for one it was LAME" Krissy says, crinkling her nose, Sam suddenly growing offended. "And plus, I used it as a PAD. I don't really think you'll want it anymore..."  
"Well where's the trashcan?!"  
"Dad just took the trash out..."   
Sam screams like a girl, making his siblings flinch and roll their eyes. "MISHA!!" Sam shouts, speeding out of the room, fire coming up out of his tracks and quickly disappearing. He runs down the stairs, through the front door. You can see his body shape, for his arms were in the air. "Sweet! New door design!" Is all Mary smiles, her and John not caring. Outside on the porch, Sam frantically looks around, sweating and panting like a rabid chicken. He looks at the curb, and suddenly sees the garbage truck slowly drive up to the can. He gasps. The guy standing on the side of the truck picks the can up as he whistles a tune. "NO! WAIT!" Sam shouts. The guy looks at him, scowling. "STOP! MY POKEMON CARD IS TRAPPED SOMEWHERE IN THERE!!" But the guy just scoffed. "Too bad, nerd. See ya." He pours the garbage into the truck, shattering Sam's heart. He holds his hand to his chest. "I'm gonna steal your trashcan now! Bye!" The trash guy smiles. The truck starts to drive off, the guy laughing as he holds the empty trashcan. "HEY! NOT SO FAST!" Sam shouts, running after him in full speed. He jumps on the man, hanging onto his ankles. "GIVE ME THE CAN BACK!" He shouts. "Get OFF me kid; what the fuck?!" The guy yells. "I'M FOURTEEN!" Sam protests in a crazy shout. He tries to take the can, and eventually they're both falling off, onto the road. The garbage truck drives off, the mariachi tone blaring in the distance, until it drives out of sight. Sam starts to rapidly slap him. "GIMME MY MISHA!!!" He shouts to him. And THAT'S when a police car drove up. Sam and the guy freeze. "Shit" the guy whispers. The cop gets out of the car. Sam looks up at them. "Sam?!" She asks.   
"Emily's mom?!"   
"What are you DOING?!" Pam asks.  
"This guy was trying to steal our trashcan!" He yells. "Well he ATTACKED me!!" The guy reasons.  
"Sam, I'm arresting you. Get your punk ass up."  
"What?!" Sam asks.  
"GET OFF THE GROUND AND PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR!!" Pam shouts, taking a random gun out of nowhere and pointing it down at him. Sam has no choice but to do so. "Mrs. Fields, why don't you believe me?!"  
"Oh I believe you. I'm still arresting you anyway."  
"Why?!"  
"Because. Your sister keeps rejecting my daughter."  
"It's not MY fault Krissy doesn't want to go out with Emily!"  
"Yes it is. Now put your hands behind your back."  
Sam sighs of exasperation and does as he's told. The garbage guy then scatters away with the trashcan. "HEY!" Sam shouts. "Not so fast!" Pam yells, tasing the guy. He makes strange jittery noises, falling face flat to the ground, dropping the trashcan. "Punk ass kid" Pam says. "In the squad car" she tells them. The guy awkwardly gets up, and Pam handcuffs him too. "Can I at least get shotgun?" He asks.  
"Hell naw!"   
She pushes them both in the backseat, and gets in the front seat.  
She drives off into the distance, the sirens blaring from miles away.   
Dean, Krissy, Mary, and John all awkwardly walk up to the telephone booth in the jailhouse, Sam awkwardly sitting on the other side. They all sit down and Mary awkwardly picks up the phone and holds it to her ear. Sam does the same on his side. "Sam...what the fuck were you thinking?" Is all she asks, her eye twitching. "Nice to see you too" Sam mutters. "And I'm FINE. Thanks for asking. I WANTED my Pokemon card!" He yells. "But then the stupid TRASH guy was trying to steal our can! So I came to justice!"   
"But that doesn't mean you ATTACK the man!" Mary yells. "I think it's pretty funny" Dean says. "Same" Krissy says. "Thanks guys!" Sam smiles. Dean gives him a thumbs up, and Krissy supportively nods. "How much is bail?" Mary asks. "5,000" Sam responds. "WHAT?! Oh THAT'S it. Now you're REALLY gonna have to get a job. And you too, Dean!" Dean just huffs and rolls his eyes. "We can bail you out for now, but your trial is-" Mary checks her watch. "Ah. Right about now. Now Sam if your pleaded guilty then you'll be sentenced for jail for eleven minutes."   
Sam yelps out like a chicken. "Ah! The horror!"   
"Don't worry Sammy" Dean says. "We got you the best lawyer there is."  
"Who?"  
Five minutes later in the court room, VERONICA walks in, holding her briefcase. She's whistling, her eyes closed, and opens them to the Winchesters awkwardly standing there. The family yelps out. "Ah! You people!" Veronica yells, shielding herself with her briefcase. "SHE'S my LAWYER?!" Sam asks. "N-no!" Mary stutters. John pulls out the paperwork out of nowhere. "It says HERE that we got VICTORIA!"   
Victoria then walks in, up to the garbage man and HIS family, who are standing on the other side of the room. "They must've gotten the names mixed up..." Krissy states awkwardly. Veronica huffs and rolls her eyes. "Well whatever. The only reason that I'm going to try to help you WIN this case, is because if I succeed I'll get paid more cha-ching. So let's get this shit over with."  
Sam ended up being charged GUILTY and had to awkwardly stand in a cell for eleven minutes. Aria heard, and came to visit him.  
"Aria!"  
"Sam! Oh my God I can't believe you're in JAIL! For eleven minutes. But anyway do you like my new shoes?" She points to them.  
"Yeah!" Sam smiles. "They're fantabulous! Does Spencer know I'm living a life of crime? Her Mom was my lawyer. And EMILY'S mom was the cop who ARRESTED me!"  
"Yeah. I told her everything just in case her Mom tried to make up a fake ridiculous story. But she knows you're not a bad person."  
"I just wanted my Pokemon card! And trashcan!" Sam says dramatically.   
"Time's up" the guard says, walking up and unlocking the cell. "I'm FREE!" Sam smiles, running out, accidentally crashing into a trashcan. "Owe..."  
"Well THAT'S ironic" Aria says.   
Aria went home in a shuttle bus, and the Winchesters went home also. Sam wasn't allowed to watch Boy Meets World for two days. "Ah! The horror!" He screams again. Dean wasn't allowed to watch PORN for two days. "Fuck you AND your booty" Dean snapped at Mary, before stomping up to his room. Mary gasps in horror. "DON'T talk to your mother like that!" John calls out. There's suddenly a knock on the door. "Sam you'll get it" Mary glumly says. Sam furrows his brow and walks over to the door. His body shape was gone. He opens it, seeing Spencer. "Hey!" He smiles, relieved to see her. "Hey" she smiles back. "Was it true that you got arrested?" She asks curiously. "Y-yes but only because some guy-"  
"I get it, Sam. You were trying to save your family's trashcan. It's cool."  
"Your MOM was my lawyer" he says. "And EMILY'S mom was the cop who ARRESTED me!" He adds. "Is it weird that I think that's hilarious?" Spencer slightly laughs. They laugh. "Well I should get going. When my mom told me you got arrested she kept trying to tell me you were doing HEROIN behind a gas station with a Jewish Rabi" she says. "Figures" Sam mutters. She nods. "I'll call you later tonight" Sam smiles. "I'll pick up" she smiles back. "I have to go to my cousins bat mitzvah."  
"Y-yeah I'm just gonna be watching TV for the rest of the night" Sam tells her. "Sammy, we SAID no Boy Meets World!" Mary calls out to him. "But mom! Please!" Sam yells, spinning around. "I NEED my Topanga! She's the love of my life!!!"   
"What?" Spencer asks behind him, frowning, crossing her arms tapping her foot. Sam instantly turns to her. "N-nothing!" He stutters in a slight laugh. "Oh well Spencer bye" he says hastily, before giving her a quick kiss on the cheek and slamming the door in her face. He instantly turns to Mary and John. "Well I'll be up in my room" he says hastily, starting to walk over to the staircase. "Wait" Mary snaps. He freezes. "Is she your girlfriend?" Mary asks. "Well, I have suddenly lost interest" Krissy says blankly, before walking upstairs. Sam slowly turns around to John and Mary staring at him. "Uhhhh...kinda I-I don't know-sorta" Sam stutters. "What's it to YOU?" He suddenly finds himself asking. "Nothing, nothing I just want to make sure that you guys are taking it 'slow'..." Mary says, using air quotes. Sam instantly cringes. "I mean, God forbid she takes your virgin status" Mary says. "MOM! STOP IT!" Sam shouts, making her and John flinch. "Spencer and I are...fine! We're not gonna be doing THAT for a VERY LONG time. So quit assuming. I'll be in my room." And with that he walks upstairs. "Hey Dean" he greets, walking into their room. Dean was sitting on his bed, hugging his knees and rocking back and fourth, his eyes red and tired. Sam freezes. "Dean...are you okay?" He asks. "I'm going CRAZY, Sammy! Mom blocked ALL the porn sites on every computer in the house! And she burned all my magazines!" He yells frantically. "Plus, she blocked ALL the channels that Boy Meets World airs on so that you can't watch any episodes" he then says like it was no big deal. "Dean, don't you think you're overreacting just a LITTLE bit-" Sam starts to say when "Wait she WHAT?! NO!!!!! TOPANGA!!!" Sam shouts. Dean sighs. "This SUCKS. And plus we have to get JOBS!" He pouts. "So what job are you gonna think of getting?" Sam asks. "Easy. Butt model. How 'bout you?" Dean asks.  
"Uh Dean I don't think that's a thing..." Sam says. "Well it WAS a thing in this DREAM I had. But anyway what are you gonna be?"  
"Pokemom card designer."  
"Figures" Dean murmurs. They suddenly hear what sounds like chewing coming from their closet. "Dean? What's that noise?" Sam asks. Dean thinks for a moment. "I dunno. C'mon." He grabs a hockey stick out of nowhere and gets up. The brothers slowly walk over to the closet doors. "One, two..." Sam whispers. They swing the door open, and see MIKE-without a toothbrush up his ass-and ANOTHER boy his age-who was very chubby-eating a bucket of chicken wings.   
They all look at each other, and that's when the screaming starts.   
"Mike, WHAT are you doing here?" Sam asks, slowly and tightly.  
They suddenly notice a wrist band around his wrist.   
"Oh. I escaped the hospital."  
"WHAT?!"


	7. Well That Escalated Quickly...

PART 7: WELL THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY...  
"You ESCAPED?!" Sam asks Mike. "Duh. I was really hungry, so I snuck out. They had already pulled the toothbrush out of my ass-which REALLY hurt by the way-and I decided to come to your place!"  
"Well who's HE?" Dean asks, pointing to the other kid. "Oh. Guys, this is Ben. He's really fat. He's ten." Ben scowls at them as he nibbles on a chicken leg. Aria's ringtone suddenly started to blare. Sam huffs. "Hey Aria what's up?" He's trying to sound casual. "Have you seen Mike? We got a call saying he escaped the hospital and I don't know where he could be!!" She was saying everything so loud that Dean, Ben, and Mike could hear her through the phone. Mike suddenly gave Sam puppy dog eyes, folding his hands together. "Please please please please please please" he whispers. Sam stares at him for a moment, before saying to Aria "Uh nope I haven't seen him..."  
And with that Aria screams, making Sam have to hold the phone back from his ear. Aria hangs up in a panic.  
"Hello? Hello?" Sam asks, holding the phone to his ear as the constant buzz on the other line sounds. "Sheesh" Sam says under his breath, taking the phone from his ear. "Mike, you have to go home!" He says, looking at him. "Your family is worried sick! And you too, Ben..." "Eh; they don't care" is all Ben says, before biting into a turkey drumstick. "But I HATE my family!" Mike pouts. "I don't even know WHY you're FRIENDS with my SISTER!" "Hey! Aria is an...interesting person. She means well" Sam defends. "And besides. What are they gonna have. A search party?" Dean slightly laughs. They all laugh together for several seconds, before Dean casually turns on the TV to the news.  
A giant picture of Mike popped up on the screen, the headline "MICHELANGELO MONTGOMERY MISSING."  
They all yelped out. "They couldn't even get a sexier picture of me?!" Mike cries. "Michelangelo Marian Montgomery has escaped the Saint Illness Hospital about an hour ago and his family is in panic" says the news anchorwoman. Dean, Sam, and Ben burst out laughing because of his middle name. "Shut up! My parents were VERY drunk when I was born" Mike defends, crossing his arms. It cut to a live clip of Aria screaming "HEL-ME FIND MY BROTHER!!! AAHHHH.....!" She continues to scream so loud, that the TV explodes and catches fire. The smoke alarm suddenly goes off. All the boys yelp out together. "Get back in the closet!" Sam yells to Mike and Ben, shoving them back in and closing the door. "Get the fire extinguisher in Krissy's room!" Dean yells.   
"What are you guys doing in here?!" Krissy demands as the brothers barge into her room. "Our TV's on fire we need the fire extinguisher!" Sam yells, grabbing it off the hook on the wall. "Oh. Don't care" Krissy says glumly. Sam and Dean run back into their room. Sam aimed the extinguisher at the fire that was spreading but when he hit the button, due to his wimpy-ness, it sent him flying back, crashing out the window, foam coming out from the extinguisher. "AAAAHHHH.....!" He continues to scream, the extinguisher sending him flying. He ends up crashing through a window of a house, into the kitchen onto the big kitchen table with a bunch of food, surrounded by Mr. Owens and his out of town relatives who were trying to have Thanksgiving dinner. "Hey......Mr. Owens..." He says awkwardly. "Samuel what are you doing disturbing my out of town relatives and I's Thanksgiving dinner" he sternly asks. "Mr. Owens PLEASE just let me explain I-" Sam is hastily saying, standing   
up on the table, dropping the fire extinguisher, causing it to roll off the table and onto the floor below. "Wait. THANKSGIVING dinner?" He then asks, confused. "Yes. In my religion we have Thanksgiving in July" Owens explains. "What religion ARE you?" Sam asks, cringing. "That's none of your goddamn motherfucking business" Owens snaps, making him flinch. "Now leave!" He yells, holding up a knife, making Sam almost pee his pants. He's silent. "Can one of you at least drive me home...?" He awkwardly whimpers.   
"Thank you Mrs. Lexenburg!" Sam smiles to Mr. Owens grandmother as he gets out of her minivan, for she drove him home. "Anytime, dear" she smiles. But when Sam turns to his house smiling, it's in flames, Dean, John, Mary, and Krissy all standing outside, glaring at him, frowning, their arms crossed. His smile drops. Firefighters were putting the fire out with hoses, firetrucks parked everywhere. "What HAPPENED?!" Sam asks, flabbergasted, crinkling his forehead. "What does it LOOK like, lame-o" Krissy snaps. Sam walks up to them. "YOU'RE the one that crashed out the window" Dean states. "Yeah! It's your fault!" Krissy yells. They all start to yell at him, until John says "Alright, alright, alright. Now let's just give Sam a moment to explain what happened before we TEAR HIM LIMB FROM LIMB!" He yells, glaring at him. The four then try to hurt him, Sam screaming and blocking himself. "Stop it!" Mrs. Lexenburg yells, walking up to all of them and hitting them with her cane. "Do not BLAME; this poor child!" She yells. "Well where the hell are we supposed to GO?!" Dean asks, fuming. "Oh why you can stay at my grandsons house! Richard Owens!" Mrs. Lexenburg smiles. Sam's eyes widen, and he almost pees himself again. "Uh-uh are you sure we can't just stay in a foster home or something?" He slightly laughs. "Because I think that that would be a GREAT idea."  
"Huh. I like it!" John smiles. "Well, since it'll take three weeks for them to rebuild our house, I don't see the problem. Let's do it!" Mary smiles. Sam almost fell over when he heard 'three weeks'. "M'kay" Dean says. "Whatever" Krissy says glumly. "Don't 'I' get a say in this?!" Sam asks frantically. "No" everyone else says together, including Mrs. Lexenburg. Sam felt like crying. The fire was completely out, and almost all the firemen drive away. "Oh well. Before we leave let's go see what survived the fire!" John smiles.   
When Dean and Sam opened their closet in their room, Mike and Ben were still eating chicken wings. They sighed of relief. "You guys are OKAY?!" Sam asks, shocked. "Yup. We just stayed in here the whole time. If we called for help, we would be exposed!" Mike says dramatically.  
The brothers face palm. "Well guys you're gonna have to go home because we'll be staying somewhere else until the house is rebuilt" Dean explains. "Oh, c'mon pleaaaasseee" Mike begs. "We can hide in a duffel bag!"  
"Ugh. Why is this thing so HEAVY?" Krissy groans as she's trying to pick up her duffel bag. Her brothers just awkwardly look away.   
"Officer! Officer! Did my Pokemon cards survive?! What about my shrine to Topanga Lawrence?!" Sam frantically asks one that was still there, running up to him.  
"Hm. Let me think" he says slowly, looking into space. "NO" he booms, looking at Sam, making him flinch, thunder booming. "SAM! LET'S GO!!" Mary yells, the rest of his family all waiting at the impala. 

"You burdens will be staying in here" Owens tells the Winchesters, flipping on the light switch to the guest room. "But there's only one bed!" Dean cries. "Exactly" is all Owens says, before walking out of the room.  
The family looks at the one small bed and sighs of exasperation. "Thanks a lot, Sam" Dean says. "What-Hey!" Sam yells, frowning, offended. "Uhhh...did something in my duffel bag just move...?" Krissy asks. Sam and Dean's eyes widen. "Uhh you should let us check that out" Dean says, taking it from her. "Hey!" She yells. The brothers run into the bathroom. They turn the lights on, and close and lock the door. They zip open the bag, and Ben and Mike have a bunch of Krissy's pads sticking to their faces. "What are you guys doing?" Sam hisses. "Playing around with Krissy's giant stickers" Ben smiles. The brothers roll their eyes. "Well you guys need to get out of here!" Dean whispers. "Our sister is growing suspicious!" "Well where are we gonna go?!" Mike cries out, about to cry. "Boys!" Mary yells, knocking on the door. They flinch and freeze. "Mrs. Lexenburg is going back to Europe! Come say goodbye!"  
Dean and Sam stare at Ben and Mike for a long moment.   
"Did my suitcase just sneeze?" Mrs. Lexenburg asks in a confused tone as she rolls her suitcase towards the front door. Dean and Sam just awkwardly look away again. "Oh, I'm probably just hearing things since I'm such a helpless old lady."   
After she drove off, the brothers sighed of relief.   
But that didn't stop Aria from calling Sam again in a frenzy.   
Sam answered the phone to her hyperventilating. "Aria?" He asks, furrowing his brow.  
"Oh, Sam it's horrible! Mike is still missing! And his best friend Ben, too! HIS family doesn't really care, but we still have to find them!!"  
Sam decided that he had to tell Aria at least a LITTLE bit of the truth. "Aria? Uh I think I heard them talking about planning to runaway to Europe together."  
"WHAT?!" She shrieks. "O-M-G! Did they say WHERE in Europe?!"  
"Uhhh hold on. Lemme think."  
He takes the phone from his ear. "Uh, Mom? Where exactly in Europe is Mrs. Lexenburg going back to?"  
"Liechtenstein, dear."  
"Liechtenstein" he tells Aria, holding the phone back to his ear.  
Aria screams a loud piercing scream again, making Sam pull the phone away again. And with that Aria hangs up.  
Sam huffs of relief. He would save the part where his house burned down for later. He didn't need Aria DYING of stress.   
But SPENCER somehow found out.  
"Spencer! Thank God you called! I have something important to tell you."  
"I think I know what. Your HOUSE burned down?! My cousin was one of the firefighters that was at the scene and when he told my mom my mom tried to tell me the rest of your family and you were dead!!"  
"Man, your mom really hates me. And yes; most of it. But I can assure you that it was NOT my fault" he says.  
"YES IT WAS" Mary, John, Dean, and Krissy yell out together. "SHUT UP!" Sam yells to them, taking the phone from his ear. "Alright I'm back" he says casually, putting it back to his ear.  
"So where are you staying?" She asks.  
"Remember that science teacher last year that I kept saying hated me?"  
"You're staying at MR. OWENS'S house?"   
"Yes but ONLY because his grandmother is a very nice woman. But yeah I think they're Jewish. They celebrate Thanksgiving in July."  
"Sam, I don't think they're Jewish..."  
"Oh......but so yeah anyway we're staying here for three weeks."  
"Three WEEKS? Man! If my mom didn't hate you guys so much then I would've offered for you guys to stay here."  
"I would've liked the sound of that" Sam flirts, smirking, as Spencer weirdly giggles. "SAMMY! INAPPROPRIATE!" Mary yells. Sam's face instantly turns red. Dean laughs hysterically and Sam just awkwardly clears his throat. "S-so did you hear about Mike missing...?" He asks, embarrassed. "Oh my God yeah! I hear he and his chubby friend ran away to Liechtenstein in Europe. Poor Aria!"  
"Y-yeah" Sam stutters.   
"SPENCER!! GET OFF THE PHONE!!!" Sam hears Veronica shout in the background, making him flinch. "Ugh. My Mom's PMSing. I gotta go" Spencer says. "Alright. Tell her I said hi" Sam jokes. "Yeah. Cause she'd love THAT" Spencer smiles sarcastically. They laugh before saying goodbye and hanging up. 

"Dean! Move your FOOT!" Sam yells, as he and his family are all trying to sleep in the same bed later that night. "Yeah well YOU should move your ATTITUDE!" Dean fires back. "That's IT!" Sam yells, getting out of the bed in his footsie pajamas, his hair a mess. "I gotta pee. I'll be right back." The bathroom was right next door to the room they were sleeping in, and when Sam opened the door, he suddenly saw MR. OWENS sitting on the toilet. "AAAAHHHHHH.....!!!!" Sam screams, running out and slamming the door.   
He runs back into the guest room and his family is frantically asking what happened. "I saw Mr. Owens in the bathroom" Sam says, getting tears in his eyes. He starts to sob from being traumatized, and Mary hugs him. "Did you see his junk?" Krissy asks. "KRISSY!!" The rest all yell. "I was just wondering...!"   
Sam finally had courage to go back in the bathroom ten minutes later to pee, and when he was about to leave, he smelt something nice behind the shower curtain. He gasped and smiled. It was a giant bag of candy, with a note taped to the front.   
"For you, dear.  
-Mrs. Lexenburg.  
"Hey! I want some!" Dean said once Sam walked back into the room with it. "Fine. But I'm only giving you the gummy bears."   
Ten minutes later, JOHN wouldn't stop snoring. Mary hit him with a pillow. "JOHNNY STOP SNORING!!!!"  
"I TOLD YOU TO NEVER-" he loudly snores-"CALL ME JOHNNY!!!" He finishes. A sleeping mask is over his eyes. "That's MY sleeping mask!" Krissy yells. "Well now it's mine" John stubbornly replies, crossing his arms. Krissy huffs.   
Sam was hugging the giant bag of candy, for he felt like it was his only friend. He had chocolate all over his face, and in his teeth. "Sam, will you PLEASE stop hugging the bag of candy?" Mary asks, exasperated, trying to deal with her migraine. "Aw, relax mom he's probably only hugging it so he can PRETEND IT'S HIS PRECIOUS SPENCER" Dean teases extra loudly. That's when Sam pins Dean down onto the sheets. "QUIT TEASING ME ABOUT SPENCER!!!" He shouts, getting all up in his face. All Dean could see was the chocolate in his teeth. "STOP IT! BOTH OF YOU!" Mary yells. "Now Dean quit teasing Sam and Sam put that bag of candy away!"   
"Uh oh" Krissy suddenly says. "What?" Everyone else asks. She doesn't speak for a moment.   
"My period blood stained the sheets...!"   
Dean and Sam start to yell random grossed out things. Mary starts to scold her, and John just starts SCREAMING, getting up and out of the bed. He starts to run away, but runs into the wall and falls on the floor because he still has Krissy's sleeping mask on. Dean and Sam jump out of the bed also, Sam blocking himself with the bag of candy as if the period blood is some sort of bomb. "We're outta here" Dean says, feeling sick, before Sam drops the bag of candy and they run out. They're running through the family room, suddenly bumping into Mr. Owens, standing there in his scuba diver mask, breathing like darth vader. The brothers scream for a long time and hug each other. "What are you guys doing UP SO LATE?!" Owens asks, snatching his mask off. "Uhhhh...our sister....had a bloody accident..." Dean explains, feeling nauseous. Mr. Owens's middle aged cousin, Ronda, popped her head out of the room she was staying in. "You mean like a DEADLY accident?!?" She asks frantically. "CALL 911!!" She screams. The boys frantically try to explain that she just got her period, when ambulance sirens sounded.   
"But I just got my period!" Krissy is trying to explain as doctors push her away on the gurney that's she's tied down to in the house in the family room. "Now, now, you're probably just seeing things from SOMEONE pushing you hard onto the floor" One of the paramedics says, glaring at Sam, Dean, Mary, and John. They all cringe. "You guys are all suspects in the bloody accident of Krissy Winchester" he says. "That 'bloody accident' was her PERIOD!" Sam yells, spreading his arms out. Krissy rapidly shushes him. "Don't say it out LOUD!" She hisses, embarrassed. "Now since your family are untrusted mental people, we'll be sending you to a foster care in Liechtenstein, Europe." "What?!" Krissy shrieks. "I can't LEAVE them! I mean yeah they're all annoying as fuck sometimes but that doesn't mean I don't LOVE them!! They're my FAMILY!" The paramedics start to tear up. "That was beautiful" one smiles, wiping a tear. "So she can stay?!" Mary hopefully asks, the boys and John all smiling.  
"Oh. No. You're all still suspects in her head injury."  
"My head does NOT have an injury!!" Krissy fumes.   
"Maybe not physically, but mentally. Just like your family. Let's go."  
"But wait! My pads...!!" You hear Krissy yell as they push her out of sight. It's silent. "Well, let's go back to bed" John says casually. He, Mary, and the boys start to walk back to the guest room when "Wait!" Ronda calls out. They look at her. "Yeah?" Sam asks. "You guys aren't even WORRIED that they SENT HER away to EUROPE?!" She shrieks. The boys and their parents start to laugh. "Oh, Ronda. You CLEARLY don't know Krissy at all" Mary says, wiping a tear. "She'll break out and be here in no time! I'm tired." 

"These eggs are good!" Sam comments the next morning in a smile as he and Dean are eating so, sitting at the kitchen table alongside with Mary. "Who made them?"  
"Mr. Owens, dear" Mary answers. Sam then gags, getting out of his chair and running over to the sink, spitting them out, and washing his mouth out. Mr. Owens walks into the room, just staring at him. "Samuel?" He asks, exasperated.  
Sam spits out the water and turns off the sink. He's soaking wet, now. "Oh...h-hey, Mr. Owens. Nice eggs...!"   
"Just sit down" Owens glumly instructs. "Yes sir" Sam mutters, doing so. "Mr. Owens? I don't have to raise my hand if I have to go to the bathroom, do I?" He asks, now sitting at the table again.  
"No, Samuel. Go to the bathroom."  
"Oh I don't have to. I was just wondering."  
Owens got a headache after that.   
"Uhh, Owens, man, person?" Dean asks, furrowing his brow, confused on what to call him. "What, Dean."  
"If I turn on the TV will you kill me? Because when you were Sam's teacher last year he kept saying that you-" Sam glared at Dean and rapidly shook his head, making signals with his hands "Just turn on the TV" Owens says. Dean eagerly grabs the remote and turns the tiny TV sitting on the table to the news.   
"Breaking news" says the same anchorwoman that talked about Mike's disappearance. "A chubby, fat, overweight, ten year old boy has been found dead in a lake in Liechtenstein, Europe." It suddenly showed a video of Ben's dead body face down in the water. Everyone but Mr. Owens gasps, for he is just flatly staring at the TV. "Well, I'm gonna go smoke a cigarette" he glumly comments, walking out of the room and outside. "Ben's DEAD?!?" Sam asks, putting his hands up to his cheeks. "Well where's MIKE?!? And KRISSY?!!?" Krissy suddenly steps into the room, all wet and muddy, a twig in her hair. Mary and the boys gasp. "I ran for six hours" she growls. John then comes out of the bathroom, for he had been in there the whole time. He gasps at the sight of Krissy. "Krissy! You're back! And you smell HORRIBLE. Like you murdered someone. Oh, but I know you would never do that, my sweet little angel!" He smiles, walking over and patting her head. "STAY AWAY!" She shouts to him. Mary, Sam, and Dean awkwardly look back at the TV to Ben's dead body. Dean instantly turns it off. John steps away from Krissy. "Well where's MIKE?" Sam asks. He suddenly runs in, not dirty or smelly at all, clinging onto Krissy's ankle. "He FOLLOWED me for six hours" she states. "Can someone get him OFF me?!" John has to pull him by his shirt with a pair of pliers. "Now go back to your home, little boy" he says, stretching on the end of his sentence. "But I hate my family!" He pouts again, as he dangles in the air. "That's it" Sam says, taking out his phone. "I'm calling Aria."  
"Noooooooo........!!!!!" Mike screams, banging on the back window of the Montgomery's mini van as it drives away in the distance, the Winchesters-and Mr. Owens-awkwardly standing outside on the sidewalk. The minivan drives out of sight. It's silent. "Well, I'm gonna go smoke another cigarette" Owens says again, about to walk away. Suddenly, a police car speeds up to the curb, the sirens blaring. It stops, and the same men that took Krissy away last night step out. The Winchesters gasp. "Ah! You people!" Krissy screams, pointing to them. "You can't take me away again!!" "We know that someone did not try to hurt you, anymore, Miss Winchester" one of them says, holding out his badge. "Really?" She asks. "Oh, thank GOD!"   
"It's pretty obvious you tried to kill yourself."  
"WHAT?!" She shrieks. "NO! I-I WAS ON MY PERIOD!"   
"And that's why you tried to kill yourself. But we're not going to take you away. It's pretty obvious you'll just end up escaping, again, anyway." Everyone just shrugs. "So, what's gonna happen?" Sam asks. "We're going to have to enroll the four of you in family therapy. Where you'll be forced to pour out your hearts, hatred, and true feelings about one another."   
"WHAT?!"


	8. The Unexpected and the Unexplainable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Therapy for the Winchesters is not what they expected it to be one bit.

PART 8: THE UNEXPECTED AND THE UNEXPLAINABLE   
The Winchesters all awkwardly sit next to each other in the therapy building waiting room. John coughs, and Sam sniffles. "Oh, dear" a woman sitting nearby says to them. The Winchesters look over. A man is sitting next to the woman. "Yes?" Mary asks, puzzled. "Why, you're the poor girl that tried to kill yourself that's also on her menstruation!" The woman announces. "The FUCK does THAT mean?" Dean asks, crinkling his forehead. "Oh, why you poor family!" The woman cries. "Here" she says, taking the wallet out of the pocket of the man sitting next to her-who's also her husband. She opens it, handing it out to them. "Take some money from my husbands wallet." "Okay!" John smiles, about to take all the cash the wallet holds, when "Wait" Sam interrupts. John stops his hand midway. His smile drops. Sam notices something else in the wallet. "Is that a picture of...Ben?" It was Ben's school picture, of him smiling like an angel. "He actually doesn't look so fat in that one" Dean comments in a mutter, putting a finger to his chin. "Dean!" Mary, John, and Sam yell to him. "What, I'm just sayin'!" Dean defends in a high pitched tone. "Ben had a couple of issues but he was still a good son" the woman softly says. "Oh, why you must be going through so much with his death. That must be why you're here!" Mary dramatically cries out. "Oh. No. We're here because Gerald's here fishing pole, broke" the woman says, holding it up out of nowhere. The Winchesters stare at them for several seconds. "Don't blame ya" is all John says. "But why would you just be throwing money away?" Mary asks, still confused. "When Ben was alive we would be spending all of our money on him. Toys, video games, fat camps that never worked..." The woman explains. The Winchesters shrug. "Now that he's dead we're stinkin' rich!" Gerald smiles. "Winchester family! You're up!" A woman calls out from the hallway entryway on the other side of the room. The family freezes.   
"We're going to talk to all of you separately" Cora-their therapist tells the family as they all sit on the floor. "The suicidal one first" she says. "I am NOT suicidal! And my NAME is KRISSY" herself defends. "Whatever. The rest of you, get the hell out until it's your turn" Cora snaps, pointing to the door.   
"Now. Chesney" Cora smiles to Krissy glumly staring at her. "My name is Krissy-" Cora ignores her and takes out a random jar of lollipops out of nowhere. "Would you like a lolly?" She smiles.   
"No..."   
Cora awkwardly throws the jar behind her, breaking a window. Krissy cringes. "Now. Tell me. What was going through your mind when...you tried to...oh, ya know" Cora says. "I didn't try to kill myself" Krissy tells her. "Seriously? That's really what you were thinking?" Cora asks, surprised. "No you dumb FUCK-I DIDN'T TRY TO KILL MYSELF!" Krissy screams in her face, making her hair fly back.   
"Now now, now now. There's no need to get angry" Cora smiles, patting her head, making her fume. "How do you feel about your family?" She asks. "Well, they're annoying as fuck sometimes. But I still love them" Krissy simply says. "So you hate them" Cora states.  
"Pardon?"   
"You hate your family."  
"I-I just said I loved them...!" Krissy says, becoming high strung and nervous, starting to sweat.   
"Well, it's official. You hate them. Now get out." Krissy just stares at her and blinks. She's speechless. "Alright...bye bitch."   
"What?"  
"Nothing. Later" Krissy says hastily, before running out. 

"Hi, Sam!" Cora smiles to a very creeped out Sam sitting before her. "How do you feel about your family? Wanna lolly?" She asks, taking the jar out of nowhere again. "Are they sugar free?" He eagerly asks. "No" Cora responds. "Oh. Then no thanks" Sam says casually. "And, my family? Uhhh...they're alright, I guess. I swear I'm the only normal one" he says, before his Boy Meets World theme song ringtone blares in his pocket. Cora gives him an odd look. Sam is quiet, before awkwardly chuckling. "Th-they're real pranksters, too..." He slightly laughs, trying to save himself. He instantly silents it. "S-so what were you saying...?" He asks.  
"It's official. You hate them."  
"What?"  
"GET OUT!" She shouts, getting all up in his face, making him flinch. The blood drains from his face in dear. So he runs out as fast as he can.   
John, Mary, and Dean basically went through the same process, ending up with them running out of the place. Well, Dean got Cora's number in the end, for they have made out and heavily flirted. They all sit in the waiting room again, waiting for their final results. "I'm telling you guys. SHE'S the one that needs therapy" Sam is coaxing all of them. "I dunno, Sammy. She was pretty nice to me" Dean smiles, before smirking and grinning. Everyone else in the family rolls their eyes. Cora comes out, smiling. "To get your final results you're going to have to come into an empty room with me where no one will hear your screams" she says. "What?" The Winchesters ask together. "B-because your final results are...pretty shocking" Cora lies. "Ohhhh. Okay!" John says.   
Cora leads them all into an empty panic room. "So, what's our final results?" Mary asks Cora, as she closes the door.   
She locks it.  
"Why'd you lock the door, there?" Sam nervously asks, slightly laughing and sweating. She pulls out a knife. "Why ya have that knife...?" Dean asks, in the same condition. She slowly walks towards them. "Why are you slowly walking towards us...?" John asks. "Why do we keep asking questions like this?" Mary asks. "Why am I even IN this family?" Krissy finishes. "I'm going to kill you bitches" Cora grunts, stopping in front of Sam. "ESPECIALLY YOU" she says. "Please don't kill me! I have to live for Topanga!" He cries out, almost wetting himself. The intense moment is ruined, and they all stare at him. "I-I mean you guys..." Sam says to his family. "Because I'm not really Cora. I'm..." She says, before taking her disguise off.   
Veronica.   
"Veronica?!" They all ask. "That's right, bitches! You guys deserve to be GONE! ESPECIALLY YOU, SAM. You make my daughter HAPPY!" "I-isn't that a good thing...?!" He asks, on the verge of throwing up. "Wait. So this means that I..." Dean trails off, also on the verge of puking. Sam gasps in horror. "YOU MADE OUT WITH MY G.F'S MOM?!" Sam loudly asks in a slow tone, using text talk. John starts to scream, running into a wall and passing out on the floor. SPENCER then walks in, drinking from a sippie cup. "Spencer?!" Sam asks. Her eyes widen and she drops the sippie cup on the floor, it rolling against the back of the wall. "Sam?! What are you doing here?!" "Your MOM is trying my family and I!" He yells. Spencer glares at Veronica. "Mom! Is that true?" Veronica awkwardly holds the knife in her hand. "No..."  
"I SEE the knife in your hand. When you SAID you got a job here you told me you were going to HELP people. Not KILL my boyfriend and his family! You PROMISED you would never try to kill them!" "And 'I' bet that HE-" Veronica points to Sam with her knife, making him sweat vigorously. "Promised you that he would never try to get into your pants!" Spencer gawks. "THIS again? Sam would NEVER!" "Yeah!" Dean defends. "Everyone knows that I'M the seducer in the family" he breezily adds. Krissy, Sam, Spencer, and Mary all agree. Spencer notices John passed out on the floor and gasps. "You didn't KNOCK HIM OUT, did you?!" She dramatically asks Veronica. "Please. No. I'm not a bad person" Veronica says. Everyone else gazes at her. "Spencer, what are you even DOING here?!" She asks. "I WANTED to come visit you. And the lady at the desk told me I could find you in here." "But the door was locked" Dean states, confused. "My sippie cup has magic powers" Spencer says proudly, standing up straight and putting her hands on her hips. Sam gives her a strange look. She scoffs, slouching, taking her hands from her hips. "Don't give me that look! Mr. Topanga crazed!" Dean laughs and points at Sam. Sam awkwardly looks up at the ceiling. He looks back at Spencer. "But wait-you never told me your Mom got a job here" he says. "Oh. I was calling you earlier to tell you but you didn't pick up. But what are you guys doing here, anyway?" She asks. "People think I tried to kill myself" Krissy flatly tells her. "Oh! Like in Awkward!" Spencer smiles. "I love that show! Yay Jenna Hamilton!" Dean smiles. Everyone stares at him. "I mean what...?" He then asks. "Curses" Veronica grumbles, looking down at the ground, and back up again. "Mom, you're just going to have to accept the fact that the Winchesters are in our lives" Spencer tells her. Veronica huffs. "Fine. I won't try to kill you guys. But I'll never like you! I hate all of you!" She yells. "Except you sweetie" she quickly adds, looking at Spencer. "Love you too Mom..." Spencer awkwardly replies, before Veronica stomps out. It's awkwardly silent between Spencer and everyone else. "She still PMSing?" Sam asks.   
"Yup."   
"Sorry my Mom tried to kill you and your family" Spencer awkwardly tells Sam five minutes later as breezily holds her hand up against the wall, Sam standing before her.   
"Oh, no it's...fine..." He says distractedly, awkwardly looking around. He looks back into her eyes. "No, it's not. I don't want you thinking I have some psycho mom!" Spencer says. "Spencer, you sort of DO have a psycho mom..." Sam says. Spencer doesn't speak. She blinks. "Okay let's pretend I didn't just say that. But trust me-she'll never bother you again. Can you forgive me?" She asks, scrunching up her face. "Spencer it's not YOUR fault you have a psycho mom. It's probably your GRANDMOTHER'S fault!" Sam says assuringly. "Hm. That could be true. My grandma WAS a pretty heavy drinker" Spencer says, looking into space and putting her finger to her chin. She looks back at Sam. "But I'm still really sorry. Why do people think that Krissy tried to kill herself?" "Well, she got her period and...yeah" Sam says, mindlessly shrugging. "Ah. That's happened to my cousin" Spencer says, nodding. Sam nods along. "Are things running smoothly staying at Mr. Owens's house?" She asks. "I can assure you that it's not" Sam slightly laughs. They both laugh. "Well it'll work out. And who knows? Maybe he'll actually warm up to you!" She smiles. "I hope so. But so far it's not working out. But maybe we can see each other tonight? If Mr. Owens will let me?" He hopefully asks. He looks into space before looking back at Spencer, realizing how weird that sounded. "Yeah! I'd love to!" Spencer smiles. "I have to get back home. This place is really starting to creep me out." "Same" Sam says. "It just has a weird vibe. But it's not like a GHOST could be haunting it or anything. That would be ludicrous." They both laugh. "Do you know that there's this myth of HUMANS actually TRAVELING across the country, staying at crappy motels and eating at crappy diners, HUNTING those kind of things?!" She asks. They both burst out laughing. "And I even heard that they're gonna make a TV show based off of it" she adds. "Who would watch it?" Sam teases. They laugh again. "Well, I'll hopefully see you tonight. And oh. Did you hear about Ben dying?" Sam asks. "Yeah! His poor family!" Spencer says sadly. "Actually, his family doesn't really care" Sam says. "Oh. Well at least they're grieving well, I guess" she says, starting to mutter, looking at her shoes. She instantly looks back up at Sam. "Well I'll talk to you later!" She instantly smiles in a bright tone as if it were the happiest day ever, making him flinch. "See ya Spence'" he smiles. They're about to kiss when "SAM! HELP! THE VENDING MACHINE ATE MY DOLLAR!" Dean dramatically cries out from a corner of the room. Sam pulls away and groans for a matter of seconds, making Spencer raise her eyebrows and slightly laugh. "Dean, can't you live without your mini pies for ONE day?" "Can't YOU live without your precious SPENCER for a day?!?!" Dean fires back in a tease. Sam instantly blushes and Spencer just laughs. The brothers suddenly hear the impalas horn honk thirty six times in a row from the parking lot, and Mary shout "COOL IT WITH THE HORN, JOHN! C'MON BOYS!!!!" "Why am I even IN this family?" They hear Krissy ask again.  
"But wait! My mini pies!" Dean cries out to them. "Here. I got it" Spencer says, before walking over to the machine. She kicks it as hard as she can, the mini pie falling into the slot, even making several dollars come out of the dispenser. Sam slowly walks over in awe. "Bye guys!" Spencer smiles, before giving Sam a quick kiss on the cheek and walking out of the building. The boys stare at the entrance. Dean pulls Sam close to him. "Sam; marry that girl."   
"We'll see." 

The family is driving back to Mr. Owens's house. A country song comes on the radio. "Oh my God I love this song!" Krissy smiles. Dean scoffs as Sam laughs. They instantly start to tease her. "So are the boyfriends you're gonna bring home be cowboys? Like you'll ever GET one?" Dean jokes, before him and Sam burst out laughing. "And he'll bring you home to his farm ranch?" Sam teases, him and Dean laughing again. "Don't feel so special if he lets you ride the animals, Krissy" Sam adds. Dean guffaws and Krissy screams "SHUT UP!!! I WILL PUNCH YOU IN YOUR GUTS!!!!" John almost crashes the car, the tires screeching. A horn honks at them. "Boys, quit teasing your sister. If she loves cowboys then she loves cowboys" he says sternly. "I DON'T love cowboys!" Krissy screams. Her brothers burst out laughing again. "It's fine, Krissy. I love Topanga and you love cowboys. We all have our weird fetishes" Sam teases. Dean guffaws again before John honks the horn various times. They flinch and go silent. "COOL IT WITH THE HORN JOHN!!!" Mary shouts again. "Now kids, we're going to play a game" John says softly, ignoring Mary. The kids roll their eyes. Krissy "ugh"'s for a good five seconds. "Whoever can stay quiet the longest, gets a dollar. Dean gimme a dollar." "What?" Dean asks in a high pitched tone, frowning. "Dad, it never worked when we were three, and it still doesn't work now" Krissy says. "Um, technically, I would just like to point out that we weren't all three at the same time" Sam says, pointing his finger in the air like a geek. "No one CARES, geek!" Krissy snaps. Sam and Krissy suddenly get into a big argument, Mary blowing her whistle for a good ten seconds. Sam and Krissy yelp out, Dean almost falling out of his seat. John almost crashes the car again. "Stop it! ALL of you!" She scolds. "Me?! I wasn't even DOING anything!" Dean protests. "Hm. That's true. Dean, you were quietest the longest. You win a dollar" John says.  
"Really?!" Dean asks in a hopeful tone, his eyes sparkling.  
"Yeah. Reach in your pocket."

"Agh! I have to pee!" Dean announces, holding his crotch and rapidly bouncing in his seat. "Piss in a bottle" Sam tells him sluggishly. "I'd rather piss in your mouth" Dean responds. Mary leans over and honks the horn twice. "Boys! No potty mouth talk in front of your sister!" She says. "Mom, I'm thirteen. I think I'm mature enough to handle these freaks and their constant boy talk." "I'm gonna stop at this gas station coming up" John announces. "Yeah Mom" Dean says to Mary. John parks in a parking spot at the gas station, and cuts the engine. They all mindlessly unbuckle their seat belts together. "Just like Sam and I can handle Krissy and her girl issues" he finishes, before the three of them get up. They see Krissy's period blood stain on her seat. Sam and Dean yelp out. "Dammit Krissy! Control your period, would ya?" Sam snaps to her, frowning. "Krissy Rosewell Winchester! You NEED to change your pads every hour so the blood doesn't stain like it just did!" Mary starts to scold. "Like your FATHER does with his adult diapers!" "Okay. Sorry mom. I will-wait what?" Krissy asks. She and her brothers awkwardly stare at John. "Well let's go in the gas station, now...! NOW!" John shouts, making everyone flinch, and Sam bump his head. "Owe!"   
"Sam, quit being such a clutz and let's go!" Mary yells to him, as everyone but Sam is stepping out of the car.  
"Ugh." 

Dean was in the bathroom peeing. "Sam what pads should I get?" Krissy curiously asks him in the medical is aisle as he's trying to read his book. "Maxi or double stuffed? Or should I just get tampons?" She asks. Sam brings his book down from his face. "Krissy. I REALLY don't think I'm the person you should be asking this to. Go ask Mom."   
"But Mom's buying her Elvis Panties."  
Sam huffs. "Krissy, you can shove a grapefruit up there for all I care. Now go scatter into the ocean so sharks can eat you. I'm TRYING to read" he snaps, loosing his patience. "Well who am I supposed to ask?!?" Krissy shrieks, on the verge of tears. Sam looks around, and smirks at an attractive boy that looks around her age casually walking near them, looking around. "Him" he teases, pointing. Krissy looks over, and gasps. She drops the giant box of pads in slow motion. They hit the floor with a bang. "That's Damien!" She says. They hear a toilet flush, and Dean walks over next to them, a strip of toilet paper stuck to the back of his shoe. "What'd I miss?" He asks. "That's that Damien kid" Sam says, pointing to him. Dean looks at him. "You mean that kid from Krissy's summer camp?" Dean asks. "Yes. Him" Krissy says through gritted teeth. "So DON'T-" "Hey Damien!" Dean calls out, Sam grinning. Damien looks over, seeing Krissy. "Oh my God! Hey Krissy!" He smiles. She kicks the box of pads on the floor behind a shelf. "Hey...Damien..." She says, blushing. "I don't know them" she hastily says, pointing to Sam and Dean. "Yes she does" Dean says. "We're her brothers. I'm Dean and that's Sam." Krissy fumes. "Oh, nice to meet you!" Damien tells them. "I don't recall Krissy ever mentioning you guys when we were at summer camp together." "Oh, believe me; there was a reason" Krissy smiles through clenched teeth. "They were just leaving" she says in her normal voice, looking at them. "Right guys?" She asks, rapidly blinking.   
"Whoa! Is that Guardians of the Hunger Maze?" Damien asks Sam, pointing to his book. "Yeah!" Sam smiles. "Want to bond over it?"  
"Aw, man I wish I could but I gotta get back to my mom who's buying her Elvis Panties."   
"So is MY mom!" Sam smiles, pointing to himself. "Cool!" Damien smiles. "Krissy, is YOUR mom buying Elvis Panties?" He asks, turning to her. "YES. We have the SAME mother, dumbass!" She snaps.   
"We do?!?!"  
"NO! Never mind! I can't believe I ever even LIKED you, you dumb FUCK!"  
"Well I can't believe that I ever KISSED YOU ON THE CHEEK!" Damien yells back. "He kissed you on the cheek, too?" Dean asks.   
"Wait. What do you mean 'too'?" Damien asks, turning to them. "Did I do something else to her that I don't know about? Aw, crap. My mom's gonna kill me."  
"Um, no. Well I at least pray to God that you hadn't. Krissy says that you guys kissed, too" Dean says, ignoring his weird comment about how his mom was going to kill him. Krissy glares at them, mouthing unknown words and motioning a bunch of hand signals. "We didn't kiss. I just kissed her on the cheek. And it was a DARE."  
"So it wasn't under the moonlight?" Dean asks, that being the only thing he cared about.  
"Oh. No. It was. But we never KISSED. Girls have cooties. But I gotta go buy my Topanga Lawrence shrine. Bye!" He smiles, waving. He starts to walk away. Sam's eyes widen. "Wait!" He yells, reaching his arm out. Dean turns to Krissy. "Why did you LIE about Damien kissing you?" He asks, frowning. "Cos you bimbos will believe ANYTHING!" she snaps, her face red like her period blood. Sam puts his arm down to his side, and turns to her. "Wait. So you've never kissed anyone?" He asks. Krissy blushes harder. "I'm thirteen! Shouldn't that be normal for my age...?" She asks, blushing, embarrassed.   
"Krissy, I had my first kiss when I was nine. So get over it" Dean says. "Yeah, Krissy. Even I'VE had my first kiss. And I'm ME!" Sam says. "He has a very strong point" Dean chimes in. Krissy rolls her eyes. "Shut up! It's not that big a deal!" She says, growing embarrassed again. "Aw, prude" Dean slightly laughs. Him and Sam laugh. "SHUT UP!" Krissy shouts. "IT'S NOT FUNNY!" "And you call ME a loser" Sam teases. The brothers burst out laughing. Krissy clenches her teeth in anger. She's about to walk away out to the back of the store and cry and anger, when "Krissy!" Damien happily calls out, running over to them, waving. Dean and Sam stop laughing in an instant. Damien walks in front of Krissy. "I almost forgot" he says, before grabbing a pack of pads off the shelf. "My mom needs her pads." Krissy just stares at him. "Oh...right..."   
Damien then kisses her, their bodies separated by the giant box of pads he's holding. Dean and Sam's mouths drop open.   
"HEH?" Sam asks, looking like a beaver. Krissy is too shocked to kiss back, and Damien pulls away. She can't speak.  
"Damien, I-"   
"BYE!" He smiles, making the siblings flinch. He jogs away, giggling. Krissy grins, and looks at her brothers. "Well, I think I deserve an apology" she smiles, crossing her arms. The boys are about to speak when "Oh my gosh!" Mary shrieks, running over to all of them, smiling. "Krissy! I just saw everything! My little girl is growing up!" She gushes. Dean and Sam scoff. "Mom, it's not a big deal" Krissy says breezily. "Sam's had HIS first kiss!" She says, pointing to him. Sam clenches his jaw and glares at her. Mary gasps and turns to him. "AWWW!!! MY LITTLE SAMMY IS A MAN!" She happily shrieks, walking over to him.   
"Mom...!"   
Back in the car, no one wanted to sit on Krissy's 'stain', so Sam sat in Dean's lap. "Dean! Quit looking at porn on your phone!" Sam instructs, frowning.   
"How can you tell?" Dean asks.  
"I can feel your boner."   
"Well too bad! Would you rather sit on my junk, or on KRISSY'S vagina leak stain?" Dean asks. "True" Sam comments. "And 'vagina leak'?" He asks, looking at him.   
"Thought of it myself."   
John honks the horn out of nowhere, causing all of the kids to yelp out. "Dad! Why'd you honk the horn?" Krissy asks in frustration.   
"It's the only way I feel that I can get your attention" he says amusingly. "Kids, I'm going to play you an audiotape through the speakers." "Dad, how many times do we have to tell you that we're all too old for Junie B. Jones" Sam says, scrunching up his face.   
"Relax. I know. I listen to those while I'm trying to fall asleep at night, now."  
"Well what tape are you going to-wait what?" Dean asks, furrowing his brow. "Nothing, nothing. Now just listen to tape."  
"Well what IS it?" Sam asks. "Kids, you are all at that age when your bodies are changing." Sam and Krissy freeze. "Uh, I'm not..." Dean says, crinkling his forehead. "Well whatever I'm still making you listen" John says, not caring. "And this tape will explain everything."   
"Dad, they played the video for us in school last year. Krissy and I know what's up" Sam says, trying to keep his cool. Dean chuckles. "He he. 'Up'" he says, before smirking. "I'm a girl. That joke doesn't apply to me" Krissy says, frowning. "Technically, it does. Your bra holds your boobs up" Dean explains to her. John honks the horn again. "Kids!" He commands, making all of them flinch. "You are going to listen to this tape!" He instructs. The kids start to complain to their mother when "Ah ah ah!" She says, her voice getting higher and higher. "This is RESTRICTED family bonding time!" She says determinedly, like before they went on their camping trip. "HOW?" Sam asks, cringing. "It just is. Now Johnny, play the tape" she answers.   
"I TOLD YOU TO NEVER CALL ME JH-"   
"We GET it already!" Sam interrupts, sick of having to hear John shouting it to Mary all the time. "Well, I'm listening to my mixtape" Dean says mindlessly, before randomly pulling up an iPod nano with headphones attached. Before he can put the headphones on, John reaches over with one hand and crushes the iPod in his hand, without looking, as he still drives. "My mixtape!" Dean shrieks, the headphones falling on the floor. "You have a mixtape?" Krissy asks, feeling disgusted. "Yeah. Look up D.W Win-yo on Myspace. At first I thought it was some sort of porn website, but apparently not" Dean responds. "Dean, MySpace is old news now" Krissy says. "Shut up!" He screams to her, offended. "CHILDREN! BE QUIET AND LISTEN TO THIS AUDIOTAPE ABOUT THE FUCKERY OF GROWING UP!" John shouts, more impatient than ever, now. "Language, Johnny!" Mary instructs.   
"I TOLD YOU TO-"  
"We GET it already!" All the kids yell together. John shushes all of them in a hiss, before pressing play on the stereo.   
"A guide to growing up for post adolescents; both boys and girls" the female voice booms through the speakers, making everyone jump. "Narrated by Damien Rogers." Dean and Sam instantly grin, and Krissy slumps down in her chair in embarrassment, knowing they were going to start teasing her again. "Oooh Damien. Your boyfriend" Dean smiles. Sam laughs, and Mary asks her "Oh why isn't that the same name of the boy that kissed you?" In an angelic tone. "WHAT?!" John shouts, making Mary and the three children jump again. He instantly mutes the tape. Krissy starts to sweat. "WHO KISSED YOU?! WHAT'S THEIR NAME! ARE THEY ALLERGIC TO SHELLFISH!!!!????" John slams her with all these questions, causing her to panic. "Dad, relax!" She says, gaining her cool. "He's just an old friend from summer camp." Dean scoffs. "Yeah. 'Friend'" he says sarcastically. They're almost back at Mr. Owens's house, about to pull up in front of so. "It doesn't matter. I'll never see him again, anyway." Damien is suddenly thrown against their windshield, his yelp muffled. The family jumps and gasps, John slamming the breaks. Damien lands on the road in front of the car. "Oh my God!" Krissy shrieks, putting her hands to her cheeks. "John; unlock the doors so we can get out!" Mary yells. "Hold on. Just let me pull up into the driveway first" John says. "Dad no-!" Krissy starts to yell, when John steps on the gas pedal, running over Damien who's still helplessly laying on the ground. He "ughs" in pain. John speeds into the driveway, Mr. Owens standing in front of the car, his arms crossed. He's frowning. Sam gasps and flinches from shock. John unlocks the doors, and the family gets out of the car, closing the doors. "Mr. Owens what's going on?" Mary asks. "That boy wouldn't stop bothering me" Mr. Owens says determinedly, pointing to Damien, who's body is still laying on the ground. "Somebody help me. Water...food...a new iPad..." They hear him say weakly. A random kid jumping on a pogo-stick bounces over him, loud springing noises sounding with every jump.   
"Owe..."   
"He kept asking to see Cheseny" Owens says, pointing to Krissy. "My NAME is KRISSY!" She yells, fuming. "Whatever. He kept trying to break in. He even tried to climb down the chimney. His fat ass bubble gum dumb dumb butt got stuck, so I had to put a bomb in my fireplace to get him out." "Mr. Owens, your house looks perfectly fine" Sam says, eyeing it. "My house automatically repairs itself" he explains. "Cool!" Dean says. "Can WE get a house like that?" He asks. "No" John and Mary say together. "Why didn't you just call 911?" Krissy asks Owens. "I don't believe in calling 911. He landed on my lawn, and when he refused to leave I had to throw him off my property by his shirt" he explains. "Do you know this boy?" He asks Krissy. "YES, I 'know this boy'" Krissy says irritably. "He went to my summer camp last year." Sam coughs before hastily saying "And he's the boy that kissed her", making sure John would hear. Krissy freezes, before John shouts "WHAT?!" And gets back in the car. Krissy, Dean, Sam, and Mary are all talking at once, telling him to stop. Mr. Owens pulls a cigarette and lighter out of nowhere, and lights it, starting to smoke it. John backs out of the lot, makes a sharp loud u-turn, and runs over Damien again. He repeatedly backs up and runs him over, Damien's "ugh!'s'" being heard each time the car hit him. "Dad, stop! You're crushing him!" Krissy shrieks, holding her hands to her cheeks again. Dean, Sam, and Mary are also all yelling at John to stop. Mr. Owens starts to cough from smoking his cigarette. "Mr. Owens! Call 911!" Sam yells.   
"I don't BELIEVE in calling 911!" In the middle of running Damien over for the eleventh time, the car breaks down, Damien laying under it. "Oh, thank God!" Krissy says. The tires become unattached from the car, the car falling on top of Damien's body, the tires rolling away. Blood leaks out from under. Krissy shrieks in horror. "Relax Krissy. I put red hair dye in the gas tank as a prank earlier this morning. It probably just leaked out like your period blood leaks out of your vagina" Dean casually explains to her. "Dean, wouldn't that affect the car somehow...?" Sam asks, suddenly eagerly curious, and even a little nervous. "Hm....I don't know...." Dean says, starting to think about it. The car suddenly turns into a transformer, John landing on the road on his butt, his arms still in the position of as if he were holding the steering wheel. The transformer runs away, out of sight. Dean and Sam grin, thinking that what just happened was the coolest thing ever. Krissy and Mary's mouths hang open. Mr. Owens glumly stares forward, throwing his cigarette to the ground. "Owe...!" Damien weakly says again. Krissy shrieks for a good ten seconds, making a bird that's flying instantly die and land in the driveway, next to Mr. Owens. "Oh my God! Damien!" Krissy yells. "That was...awesome!" Sam laughs, Dean starting to laugh like a maniac. "Guys! Damien is DYING!" Krissy yells. "Krissy, our car just turned into a TRANSFORMER, and all YOU can think about is a GUY? God. You're so negative!" Dean yells to her. There's screaming and explosion noises coming from the town. "Aw, crap. Our transformer is destroying the town!" Sam whines. "But isn't that thing awesome?!" John laughs, looking at his sons. He's still sitting in the road, his arms down to his sides now. Sam and Dean agree as they smile and laugh. "Guys! Damien needs an AMBULANCE!" Krissy yells. They hear a woman scream, and a plane crash. An explosion instantly occurs afterwards. "And so does the whole TOWN" Dean says, cringing. "Well what should we do?" Sam asks. "We need to call an ambulance for Damien-" Krissy is saying when "Krissy, shut up-Sam and I are thinking" Dean interrupts, her brothers not even looking at her. "Well, the guy in the Transformers movies name is Sam. And...you're Sam. So...go save the town, Sam..." Dean says, his tone slowly becoming awkward. "Sammy, no. It's too dangerous" Mary instructs. "You're gonna get boo boos" she adds. "Mr. Owens, do YOU think I should do it?" He asks, turning to him. "Well, it is risky" he answers. "Hm. You're right. I could die" Sam states, dramatically grimacing at the house across from Mr. Owens.   
"But then again. If you die then you WILL get a whole page dedicated to you in the yearbook next year" Owens says. Sam gasps. He smiles and looks at Owens. "Seriously?" He smiles. "Well, yeah. It's only one picture, but..." Owens explains, raising his eyebrows. Sam grins, and looks away. "Finally! I have a reason to die!" He yells in a smile, clenching his fists. Mary gasps in horror. "Sammy! How DARE you say such absurd things like that!" She scolds. Dean frowns, not liking what he's saying either. "Sam-what are you-DUDE! You're kidding me, right?" He asks. "I mean, yeah no one really knows you exist at that school, but do you know how EASY it is to get in the yearbook? You can get a whole page dedicated to you just for FARTING!" He's speaking in a high pitched tone. "Seriously?" Sam asks, looking at him. "He's right son" John says, still sitting in the street, his arms outstretched again as if he were driving a race car. Sam raises his eyebrows. "I got a whole page dedicated to me for farting back in nineteen eighty eight. When I was your age. Dean would've passed passed down the legacy, but-" "I lost to Fergus Roderick Macleod. Lil shit. Literally. He's tiny" Dean fiercely finishes, dramatically grimacing at the house across from Owens like Sam did before. "And if Sam doesn't continue to legacy, then Krissy will!" John smiles, pointing to her. "Please. If I'm gonna get another page dedicated to myself in the yearbook then it's not gonna be for farting. It's gonna be for being awesome. I got one for being the toughest sixth grader ever, last year. But this year, I'm gonna get one for being awesome" Krissy explains. "I got that last year" Dean says with a smirk, proudly looking up in the sky. "I got one for being the classiest student back in eighty eight. The same year your father got his for farting. Our pages were right next to each other" Mary smiles. "And yet we ended up together" John smiles, before he starts to pretend he's driving a race car, making noises with his mouth and moving his body around. "I was in the yearbook for never smiling" Owens says. "You don't say" Krissy mutters. "Okay! I get it! Everyone has been in the yearbook but me" Sam says. "Now can I go save the town now? I at least want to be on the news." John stops pretending to drive a race car. "I think you should go for it son!" He smiles, looking at him and giving him a thumbs up. Sam looks at him and grins. "John, no! He could get hurt!" Mary says dramatically. "Yeah, AND, he can finally get a GIRLFRIEND. Take it or leave it" John says. "Dad, I already have a girlfriend" Sam calls out.  
"I appreciate you trying to have one last laugh before you risk your life, son."   
"I'm serious!" Sam yells, scowling. Dean bursts out laughing. "Well, the only person who hasn't shared their opinion on me risking my life is you, Krissy" Sam says, turning to her. "What do YOU think I should do?" He asks.   
"Sam, to be honest, I don't really give a shit. And in fact, it's not like the thing is destroying the whole WORLD like in the ACTUAL movies. I mean, yeah they're killing people but it's not like they're killing IMPORTANT people" she answers. The transformer runs back onto their street, and lifts Damien up. He chucks him out of sight. His scream, and a loud crash is heard. The transformer runs away out of sight again. Krissy shrieks. "Sam! You gotta go out there!!!" She yells over-dramatically. Sam exhales and rolls his eyes. "Fiiine. But I can't guarantee you that I'll bring Damien back alive. If I even find him." Krissy pulls him close to her by his shirt. "You bring that boy back or I will end you!" She grunts. "Ah! Yes ma'am...!" He says, terrified. "Now go!" She instructs, letting go of his shirt and pushing him away. "So you're gonna do it?" Dean asks cautiously. "Oh yeah. I'm gonna do it" Sam answers determinedly, facing the end of the street. The breeze picks up, and a ball of tumbleweed rolls by, as if it were the Wild West. Sam squints. He skids his foot back across the road twice in a row, as if he were a bull. He's about to run out into all of the chaos and try to save the town, when "Wait!" Mary yells, making everyone flinch. Sam frowns and turns around. "Take a pack of fruit snacks" she says softly, taking a mini pack out of nowhere and placing them in his right short pocket. "I don't want you starving" she says safely, patting his head. "Thanks mom" he says, before turning to Mr. Owens. "Mr. Owens, if I don't come back, or I do but it's actually my evil clone, I want you to have this pack of fruit snacks to remember me by" he says, handing them to him.   
"I'm allergic to fruit snacks, Samuel."  
"What is WRONG with you?!" Krissy blabs out. "Krissy!" Mary, John, Sam, and Dean scold together. "A lot of things, Cheseny" Owens responds truthfully.   
"It's KRISSY!"  
"I don't give a fuck."   
"It's okay" Sam softly says to Mr. Owens. "You don't have to eat them. You can just...hold them...you know, in the moonlight." "Can 'I' eat them?" Dean asks, raising his hand. "Dean, no. They're for Mr. Owens-"   
"Here" Owens interrupts, giving them to Dean. "Dean wait-!" Sam yells, but Dean rips the bag open and drowns down all the fruit snacks, and swallows them in a gulp. "My fruit snacks!" Sam weakly yells. More explosions and screaming comes from the down. "Oh, boo hoo can you just go save Damien for me?" Krissy snaps. "Alright. I'm gonna go. For real, this time" Sam says, facing the opposite direction of the street than he was before. "Gaaaahhhh....!!!!" He yells, charging forward when "Wrong way, sweetie!" Mary calls out, not even two feet away from him. Sam stops running. "Oh. Right. Sorry" he says. He awkwardly clears his throat, facing the right way. "FOR NARNIA!!!!!!!" He shouts at the top of his lungs, as he starts to run towards the end of the street, his fist high in the air.  
"Gaaaahhhhh...!"   
Sam sobs at the top his lungs as he's pushed into Saint Illness hospital on the gurney he's tied down to, pushed by the paramedics. His family, and even Mr. Owens, following. They stop him in front of the secretary desk. "What seems to be the problem?" The nurse asks. Other people were being rushed into the hospital with fatal injuries. Screaming, crashing, and explosion noises were still sounding from the town. Sam didn't even get to TRY to save the town, in fact, he didn't even make it out of the DEVELOPMENT.   
"He ran into a tree" John explains.   
"Ooohhhh. Damn. Take him into the emergency room" the nurse says. Sam had a broken nose, and his face was bruised.   
"One, two..." The doctor says to him as Sam sits in the emergency room, about to assess the nose into place. His family, and Mr. Owens are standing with them. "Wait!" Sam yells, making everyone flinch. "I don't know if I can do this. I've been through a very traumatic experience." "Will you people get your heads screwed on right? We NEED to be looking for Damien!" Krissy yells, starting to become mentally insane. "Krissy, calm it he was your first kiss so what" Dean snaps. "Technically, it's not even your REAL first kiss unless you kissed back." "Says WHO?" Krissy snaps. "Says everyone. And if it makes you feel any better, my first kiss wasn't so special." "Sam, what was yours like?" Krissy asks him. "It was...you know. Nothing perfect. Nothing awful" he answers. "They're not allergic to shellfish, are they?" John cautiously asks. Sam frowns. "No, dad. Why are you so hung up on that, anyway?" He asks. The doctor assesses his nose into place with a crack. "AAAHHHH!" He screams, when the doors to the room open, and Spencer and Veronica walk in. They freeze. "Motherfuck" Veronica mutters, frowning. "Sam?" Spencer asks. "What's going on?" "I broke my nose running into a tree. What are YOU doing here? Is everything alright?" He asks. Her face is in hives, and voice is scratchy. "I just found out I'm allergic to shellfish. But just one shot and I'll be fine" she answers. "Gah!" John screams. Everyone flinches. Sam rolls his eyes. "I blame you" Veronica says, pointing to Sam. "It's not MY fault that she's allergic...!" He says in a scared tone. "Not for THAT. For all the SHIT that's going down in this town. The traffic was AWFUL on the way here. All these 'dead bodies' flying against our windshield. God." "Oh that was our car" John pipes up, when Sam covers his mouth. "What?" Veronica asks, frowning. "N-nothing...!" Sam stutters, starting to sweat. He takes his hand off of John's mouth. "Oh it's true. I put paint in the gas tank" Dean pipes up. Sam glares at him. Veronica pulls him by his shirt. "Mom! Stop!" Spencer yells. "Oh, you little-" Veronica grunts to him, when the transformer is tearing the whole roof off of the hospital, looking down at everyone in the emergency room. People start to scream, and the transformer throws the roof behind them, out of sight. He snatches Spencer off the floor. She screams. "Spencer!" Sam and Veronica scream together. "Well shit" Mr. Owens mutters. John screams again, running into another wall. He lands on the floor. "Owe..." Everyone else starts to panic. The transformer runs away, still holding Spencer.   
"Help......!!!!!" They hear her scream, before the transformer is gone. Other people in the hospital are screaming and running around in circles. John is still on the floor. It's silent between Sam, Mary, Dean, Krissy, and Mr. Owens. Veronica looks at Sam, and says three words.   
"I blame you."


	9. The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam saves the day. Well, TRIES to save the day. Take your pick.

PART 9: The Aftermath  
"Oh, what are we gonna do?!?!" Sam yells. "Are you kidding me?" Dean asks, annoyed. "THAT wasn't in the movie. This transformer should really stick to the plot" he finishes. "Dean!" The rest of the group yells to him. "What I'm just sayin'...!" He defends. "We have to find Spencer!" Sam yells. "AND Damien!" Krissy adds. "We GET it already!" Everyone else in the gang yells to her. Veronica groans for a good ten seconds. "Oh, I swear, after we find her, you two are NEVER going to see each other AGAIN! EVER!" Veronica yells to Sam, pulling him off the ground by his shirt and close to his face. He squeaks in fear. "We have to THINK!" Dean announces. Veronica sets Sam on his feet. "She didn't even get her allergy shot..." John says sadly, now standing up, next to them. "Focus!" The rest yell. "If I were a transformer, where would I be?" Sam asks, looking into space and putting his finger to his chin. "'I' would be at a strip club" Dean smiles, also looking into space. He smirks at the thought. "I would be at the perfume store" Mary smiles. "'I would be killing all of you" Veronica says blankly. The rest stare at her. "Mr. Owens, where would YOU be?" Sam asks, looking at him.   
"In a world where you people don't exist." The rest all stare at HIM, now. Veronica gasps. "What?" Sam asks, looking at her. "I almost forgot! I put a tracking device in her phone!" Veronica smiles. "What?" The rest ask. She doesn't speak. "Hey! Don't give me that LOOK! Situations like these are the EXACT reason why I installed it." She takes out her phone. "I can find out where your CAR took her with my tracking app" she states, glaring at the Winchesters. They shrug, Dean awkwardly looking up at the ceiling. He looks back down at Veronica. She looks back at her phone, going onto the tracking app. She presses a button, and a beeping noise starts to come from the phone. "Tracking. Hastings, Spencer" the robotic female voice announces. "It's tracking her" Veronica says. The rest of the group all go over behind her and look at the phone. "Hastings, Spencer, tracked" says the robotic voice. It shows Spencer's location. "She's-" Veronica starts. "At Sunny Trails Summer Camp?" Sam finishes in a question. "That's my old Summer Camp!" Krissy says. "You mean the place where you claimed Damien kissed you under the moonlight?" Dean teases. "Yeah, Dean. Sure" Krissy answers, growing annoyed. He smirks, and Sam can't help but chortle. "That's where Damien could be!" She yells. "That's where Spencer IS!" Sam screams to her. "Shut up, Sam! My love life is more important than yours!" Krissy yells. "You don't even HAVE a love life!" Sam screams back. "Well I CAN have one, if you GO TO MY OLD SUMMER CAMP! NOW GO!" "You don't even KNOW if he's THERE! He could be in a COMPLETELY different location!" Dean tells Krissy. "Exactly" Sam adds. "Fine, then. Here's a list of thirty seven different locations that I thought of where he can be. You can check all of them after you save Spencer" she says, pulling the list out of nowhere and handing it to Sam. He looks at it. "WHAT? I'm not CHECKING all of these places!" He yells, looking at her. "And why would he be at-" he looks at the list again. "Victoria's Secret?" He asks, crinkling his forehead. "He told me last summer that he likes to play with the bras" she says. "Whatever!" Dean screams, making everyone flinch. "Sam, just go to Krissy's old summer camp and save Spencer! You run like Bella ran to save Edward in Twilight New Moon!" He motivates. Everyone else stares at him. Dean awkwardly clears his throat. "Uhhhh...I'm just gonna go now..." Sam says awkwardly. "Yeah you should..." Dean responds. It's quiet between all of them. "...see you guys..." He says, before starting to run away. "Gahhh....!!!!!"   
Sam sobs at the top of his lungs as he's running to Sunny Trails Camp, scared out of his mind. "I just want my mom!" He yells. He had been running for only ten minutes, and had almost died only ten times. Chaos is everywhere, including fires, people dying, commiting suicide, planes crashing, cars crashing, and Justin Bieber continuing to speed down the highways. Sam sees Sunny Trails Camp, partially burned down, and stops running. He stares at it in awe. "Well it looks like it got a little too sunny if you ask me" he murmurs. "I'm coming Spencer!!" He yells, putting his fist high in the air, and running to the parking lot. He enters inside through the doorless entryway, and looks around. He goes out the back, and sees Spencer, and DAMIEN, each tied to a pair of swings, next to each other. They both gasp. "Sam!" They smile together. Spencer wasn't injured, but her voice was still puffy from the lack of her allergy shot. Damien was injured from John running over him with the impala countless times. "Guys!" He smiles, running over to the swing set. He starts to untie Spencer first. "Damien, you're still alive?" He asks, looking at him, as he continues to untie Spencer. "Surprisingly. The transformer saved my life after he took me here. He said he wanted to kill me, himself" he smiles. "Well we have to get out of here!" Sam yells, finally untying Spencer. He starts to untie Damien. "How'd you know we'd be here?" Asks Spencer. "Uhhh...your mom may have or may not have put a tracking device in your phone..." Sam tells her, as he unties Damien. He and Spencer both stand up off of the swings. "She WHAT?" Spencer asks. "Th-think of it this way! If she never had, I wouldn't have been able to find you...!" Sam says. "I guess you're right" she says. "But I'm so glad I found you Spencer. I was so scared you were dead. I wanted to tell you this afterwards, but I want to tell you now. I love-" "Oh, group hug!" Damien interrupts in a smile, pulling them close to him and squeezing them tight. As Sam and Spencer are being suffocated by Damien, Spencer looks at him, and mouths "I love you too." Sam smiles, and Damien pushes them off him. "C'mon. Let's-" Sam says, when the transformer jumps behind them out of nowhere, the bang so loud that Sam, Damien, and Spencer, are sent off the ground, landing back down on their feet. The transformer grabs both Damien and Spencer by the back of their shirts, and starts to choke them with both fists. "STOP!" Sam screams. "NOW I DON'T KNOW WHO TO SAVE!" He quickly looks back at fourth, and starts to think. Spencer's his girlfriend. Who he just admitted to loving. And she said that she loved him BACK. But Damien is Krissy's possible future lover. And if Damien died, then SAM would ALSO be dead because of KRISSY. He then figured that Krissy was just an overdramatic lovestruck girl, that would get over Damien, and yes he meant well to the people that loved him, (not including Krissy who just claims her feelings), but that Spencer is way more important. And also, if SHE died, then VERONICA would kill him. And being killed by Veronica would be MUCH worse than being killed by Krissy. He's about to save Spencer, when there's a gunshot, and a bang that sounded like it was coming from the transformer. It releases Damien and Spencer at the same time, them both landing on the ground and gasping for breath. Sam sighs of relief, and the transformer falls to ground, instantly turning back into the regular impala, a vroom vroom sound playing out of nowhere. He sees Pam-Emily's mom-standing there, in her police uniform and hat-her posture perfect, with her gun pointed at where the transformer was standing. "Punk ass robot" she comments. "Pam!" Sam and Spencer smile, she and Damien standing up. "You guys alright?" She asks, bringing the gun down. "Yeah" Spencer and Damien smile together. "I'M not!" Sam cries out, feeling betrayed. Pam, Spencer, and Damien all look at him. "I didn't ACTUALLY save Spencer! I'm no hero!" "Sam, you ARE a hero!" Spencer smiles. "Yeah! You ran all the way over here and untied us both from the swings!" Damien smiles. "Well PAM'S the one who actually saved you from DYING" Sam reasons. "I have the perfect idea!" Pam smiles. "What is it?" Sam asks, as he, Spencer, and Damien all look over at her. Pam shoots Spencer in the shoulder. She screams, falling onto the dirt. "What was THAT for?!" Sam screams. "You SAID you wanted to save her! Take the bullet out of her shoulder, ya little pussy!" Pam yells to him. "I love cats" Damien smiles. Sam kneels down over Spencer, vigorously sweating. "Uhhh okay. Uh-uh I think you..." He trails off. "You-" Pam starts to say when "No" Sam firmly interrupts. "I can figure this out on my own. I'm going to save her" he states. "You do know that I'm not even dying, right? I'm just in a lot of pain" Spencer explains. "Shut up. I'm still saving you" Sam says to her, making her frown. "Want me to shoot you in the head?" Pam smiles. "No!" Sam and Spencer scream together. "I got it!" Pam smiles, holding up a giant needle. Spencer screams at the sight. "Relax. It's just a shot for your shellfish allergy" she says. "Oh. Okay..." "Um can you actually not do that yet?" Sam asks. "My dad might want to witness that." Pam throws the needle behind her, out of sight. He looks back down at the bullet in Spencer's shoulder. He squeezes his eyes closed, trying to think. "Oh, just pull it out!" Pam yells, having enough. Sam pulls the bullet out, tossing it behind him. "You saved me!" Spencer smiles, sitting up and looking at Sam. "I know!" He smiles back. They stand up. "I'll let you guys call your parents. You can use my phone if you need to" Pam tells them. "Thanks" Spencer smiles. "I have my phone with me in my pocket. That my mom put a tracking device in. But I'll take it out later." "Damien, Krissy will be so happy to see you" Sam smiles, Damien looking at him and grinning. "Whoa whoa whoa" says Pam, the three others looking at her. He points her gun at Damien, Sam and Spencer gasping. "You're not in a relationship with Krissy Winchester are you? Because if you are, then not anymore. Because you'll be DEAD. My daughter Emily Fields has been in love with her for days, now, and I will not let you take Krissy away from her" Pam says. "I'm not in a relationship with Krissy. And I don't really want to be, anyway" Damien tells her. Pam smiles and brings her gun down. "But you KISSED her!" Sam yells to Damien, growing angry. Damien turns around and looks at him. "Girls have cooties."   
"But you KISSED her" Sam repeats, Spencer furrowing her brow in confusion. "Wait. What were we talking about?" Damien asks. Sam and Spencer face palm. "Kid you DON'T wanna be actin' stupid when I have a gun in my hand" Pam says, becoming impatient. All the chaos in the town had suddenly stopped. "Sam?" He hears Mary's voice. "Mom?" Sam calls back, his heart racing. Mary, John, Dean, Krissy, Veronica, and Mr. Owens, come walking out through the back of the building, seeing all of them. Mary, John, Dean, and Krissy gasp. Sam smiles, and they start to run towards him. They push him out of the way, and Mary, John, and Dean, run over to the car. "Oh, look how shiny it is!" Mary smiles. "It's perfect!" Smiles Dean. "My baby!" Smiles John. "Damien!" Krissy screams, hugging him tight. Damien smiles and pushes her away. "You're alive!" She smiles. "Obviously" he smiles back, causing her to frown. "Spencer!" Veronica smiles, squeezing her tight. Mr. Owens starts to smoke another cigarette. "I'm so glad you're alive" Veronica smiles, as she still hugs Spencer. Spencer grins, and Veronica pulls away. "You, not so much" she says to Sam. "Hey!" Sam yells, frowning. "Mom!" Spencer yells. "Sam SAVED Damien and I!" She lies, rapidly nodding. "No he didn't. The pussy just stood there. I did" Pam says. Sam and Spencer glare at her. "You just STOOD there while my daughter could've been dying?!" Veronica shrieks to Sam, Sam trying not to wet himself. "Oh she was. We were being choked by the transformer" Damien smiles. Krissy quickly covers him mouth. Veronica screams, and tries to attack Sam. The rest all have to hold her back. "Mom! Stop it! In a way, Sam still saved me! He took a bullet out of my shoulder!" They release her from their grips. "Really?" Veronica asks. "Yeah..." Says Sam. Veronica actually SMILES, scaring everyone. "Mom...? Are you okay...?" Spencer asks. "Oh, I'm PERFECT! You SAVED my daughter!" She smiles to Sam. He awkwardly grins back, and nods. "Sure..." "When you think about it, not really" Pam says. "PAM!" Everyone else but Veronica screams to her. "Sam, you kinda sorta saved my daughter. Thank you" Veronica smiles to him. "So we can be together?" Spencer smiles, Sam grinning also. "Oh, honey." Veronica smiles to Spencer. "NO" she booms, making everyone else flinch, and thunder boom. "I will not allow this. You almost got my daughter KILLED!" Veronica screams to Sam. "You DO know that you have another daughter, right? I mean, Spencer isn't the only important thing in your life" Dean says. "Dean!" Everyone else but Spencer screams to him.   
"What I'm just sayin'...!"   
"And actually, SAM didn't almost kill Spencer. He actually almost let her GET killed. The CAR is what almost killed her. And intentionally, at that" Damien points out. Everyone but Veronica glares at him. "NOW you're smart?" Sam hisses. "Wait. What were we talking about?" Damien repeats. Veronica glares at the Winchesters. "Ohhhhh I will DESTROY YOUR CAR!!" She shouts, trying to attack the car, now. Everyone else pulls her away. "Don't blame my BABY! DEAN'S the one who put the paint in the gas tank causing it to transform" John says. Veronica then glares at Dean, who's munching on a pack of twizzlers. They make eye contact, as he loudly chews. "Sup..." He says. She tries to attack HIM, and he screams and throws his twizzlers at her. "Okay okay take them!" He cries. "Mom, it's over now. It won't happen again" Spencer says. "Oh, it better not" Veronica grumbles. "Damien, I'm so glad you're okay. I-" Krissy starts to tell him, when "Damien!" They hear another girl call out. They all look over, and see Mona Vanderwal. "Mona!" Damien smiles. "WHAT?" Krissy asks. Mona runs over to Damien. "You're okay!" She smiles. "I know!" He smiles back. "I was wondering if maybe...you would want to be my girlfriend?" "WHAT?" Krissy repeats, fuming. "You said girls have cooties!" Sam yells to Damien. "Not Mona. Mona's a special kind of girl" Damien smiles. "Oh, Damien" Mona smiles. "But you KISSED me!" Krissy shrieks. "Eh, you're not that good of a one" Damien tells her. "I DIDN'T EVEN KISS BACK!" She yells. "Exactly." "THIS is a real kiss" Mona says, before she and Damien start to smooch. Everyone else cringes, and Krissy's mouth drops open. Dean's had enough. "PDA, PEOPLE!" He yells, walking over to Damien and Mona and pushing them away from each other. "And by the way, Mona, when we made out, you were AWFUL" he tells her. Mona gawks. "And I thought you were dating MIKE!" Sam yells to her. "Mike dumped me. He said the death of his chubby friend was just too overwhelming for a relationship. But I'm over it" she says. Everyone else but Damien rolls their eyes. "Pam? Can you SHOOT him?" Sam asks, pointing to Damien, gritting his teeth. "I WOULD, if I were allowed to" she admits. Damien squeaks. "I WILL! C'mere, you little shit!" John yells, taking the gun from Pam, sprinting after Damien, Damien running away and screaming. Mona takes out her phone and starts to text. "John, stop it!" Mary yells. John runs into a tree, and falls onto the ground. "Screw killing Damien. C'MERE BITCH!" Krissy screams to Mona, attacking her. They land on the ground, and get into a sissy fight. Dean starts to record it on his phone. Veronica cheers Mona on. "Well shit" Owens mutters, as he blows smoke from his cigarette. Mary starts screaming and Spencer gasps. John cheers Krissy on. "Stop it!" Sam screams, running over and pulling Krissy off of Mona. They stand up. Mona's phone buzzes, on the ground. They both dive to the ground, reaching for it. Krissy grabs it, screaming "A-HA!" "No! Don't! I-it's personal!" Screams Mona. "From MIKE. 'Of course I'll take you back baby. I love you too.' WHAT?!" "Uh he's lying..." Mona lies. "You were going to CHEAT ON ME?!" Damien yells. Mona scoffs. "NO. I was going to DUMP your ass first. Duh." "But we've only been dating for twenty minutes!" He cries. "Mike and I have more history. Sorry not sorry" she says. Damien gets tears in his eyes and starts to whimper. He starts to sob and run away, out of sight. "Whimp!" Dean calls out. "Sorry I attacked you" Krissy says to Mona. "It's 'ite. But you don't wanna get involved with Damien, anyway. He's a dumb fuck" Mona says. Everyone else agrees. "Well I'm gonna go" says Mona. "Call me" she tells Dean, winking at him. She jogs away, out of sight. "I can't believe Damien DID that to me!" Krissy yells. "THAT'S why I don't want you dating boys. They'll break your heart. Believe me, honey. I've broken your mothers heart thousands of times" John tells her. "You and mom are MARRIED!" She yells to him. "Oh. Yeah. I forgot. But the point is, is that guys will either break your heart, or get you pregnant. End of story" he says. "Yeah Krissy. You do NOT want to get involved with guys. Nothing but trouble." Says Spencer. Sam, and everyone else, stares at her. She blushes. "Uhhhh...not speaking for myself...." She says. "For the first time, a Winchester is actually right. Guys are AWFUL, Spencer" Veronica tells her. "SAM isn't!" Spencer protests. "Maybe not now. But soon, all he'll do is hump you, then dump you." "Mom!" Spencer screams. "Well it's TRUE! Love just isn't for you, honey. You're too naive." "I am NOT!" She screams. "Last year at school you thought it was clown day" Sam tells her glumly. "I thought it WAS!" She says. "I got an email! It LOOKED real...Ali must've sent it." She groans. "Ugh, Ali" she finishes. "Well what am I gonna DO to her, anyway?" Sam asks Veronica. "Lure her into my BED?" "You BETTER not. But if you do, use Cheetos. She loves those" Veronica says. "I'm not a dog!" Spencer screams. "No GIRL would wanna go into a bed that still has outer space sheets" Dean says. "Shut up!" Sam yells to him. Dean snickers. "Can we all just GO HOME? Veronica, I've lived with Sam for the last thirteen years. He's a nerd that adores Topanga and still wears footsie pajamas. But it's pretty fucking obvious he loves Spencer. Anyone who doesn't see THAT is a dumb fuck. YOU obviously are" Krissy rants. Veronica gawks. "Aren't you going to SAY something to her?" She asks Spencer. "Eh. Nah. I mean, ALL you care about is either my heart getting broken, or my virginity being taken. Heartbreak is apart of life. And so is...virginity taking. But THAT won't happen for a very long time. Right Sam?" She asks, looking at him for support. Sam's in the middle of sleeping and drooling. He jumps up mid snort. "What? Oh. Uh. Yeah. Yeah. Uh I won't take your virginity for ten years" he says. "Yeah, no you won't" says Dean. "Dean!" Everyone else yells to him. "What I'm just sayin...! Once those hormones kick in you'll be climbin' her like a tree" he tells Sam. "Dean, that's not gonna happen. I'll know how to control myself." "Okay" he slightly laughs. "What's THAT supposed to mean?" Sam asks, frowning. "Sam, you JUST had a wet dream the other night." "Well hey I couldn't control it! It's like...Krissy getting her period!" He reasons. Krissy cringes. "Sam, you're not listening. Soon, you'll be going crazy for sex. It's in the Winchester male genes." "We'll have to lock you in a panic room. That's what we had to do with Dean when HE was fourteen" Mary says dramatically. "When 'I' was fourteen, I-" John starts to say when everyone else interrupts him as they cringe, not wanting to hear it. "Don't worry Sammy. We'll know it's starting when you start humping everything" Mary smiles. "But I don't wanna hump everything!" Sam cries out. "I did..." John says, barely a whisper. "What?" They all ask him. "Nothing, nothing."   
"Can we all just go home? This is getting awkward. For all of us" Krissy says. "Wait!" Pam says. "Before you guys go..." She says to Sam and Spencer, walking over to them and pulling them over to the side. "Once you guys DO start doin' the frickle frackle-" "We can HEAR you" Krissy says, everyone but Pam cringing. Pam ignores her, and says to Sam and Spencer "I'll let you two borrow my handcuffs." She flicks her eyebrows and smirks. "No!" Sam and Spencer scream together. "Mary and I will!" John smiles. Everyone else instantly looks at them. "John! I thought we agreed to keep our intimate life private!" Mary whispers to him. "She read Fifty Shades of Grey, alright" Dean says. "How'd you know about that?" Mary asks in a defensive tone, looking at Dean. He scoffs. "Okay now this is getting REALLY awkward. Car. Now." Krissy instructs. "Wait. Krissy" says Pam. "Yeah?" She asks, looking at her. "I feel bad about what happened with Damien. So, tonight, I'm setting you up on a blind date." "The guy's blind? Good. Cos he won't be able to see my FIST coming towards his FACE" John pipes up. "John, WE met on a blind date. You remember what that is, right?" Mary asks. "Oh..." "Relax" Pam tells him. "They're a nice...boy." Krissy frowns. "This person that you're setting me up with isn't EMILY, is it?" She asks. Pam makes strange noises with her mouth. "Whaaaat? Noooo....!" Everyone glares at her. "Okay not anyMORE. Don't worry. I'll find you a new guy in no time." "You're seriously going to do this for me? Wow. Thanks" Krissy says. "No problem, kid." "YES problem. What if this guy breaks her heart? Or her bra RIPPING IT OFF OF HER?!" John yells. "John, calm the fuck down. I'll make sure the guy is nice and safe." "Thanks Pam. If this works out, I'll find YOU a date" Krissy tells her. "Oh, I'm married. You just never see my husband because he serves in the Air Force." "You told ME that he serves in the marines" Veronica says. "And you told ME the army" adds Mary. Everyone stares at Pam. She groans in frustration. "Fine! I'm not married, okay?! I just made that part up to make it SOUND like I was married, alright?! God!" Pam yells. Everyone stares at her. "Car?" Krissy asks Mary, John, Dean, and Sam. They all answer her together with one word: "Yup..."   
Mary and Krissy had made John drop them off at the mall on the way to Mr. Owens's house, to shop for dresses for Krissy's blind date.  
At Owens's place, he, John, Sam, and Dean were all sitting on the couch and watching the basketball game on TV like lazy fucks. Mary and Krissy walk through the front door, each holding a bunch of shopping bags. "We're baaaack!" Mary sings, as Krissy closes the door. The men make inhuman noises in response, eyes glued to the game. "Oh-" Mary says, frowning. She walks over to the coffee table, picking up the remote, and turning off the TV. "Heyyy!" The men yell, frowning and spreading their arms out, looking at Mary. "Krissy and I bought a bunch of girly crap for her date that you guys wouldn't care less about. Now get up. We're having a fashion show" Mary instructs. The men stare at her. "Can we at least still sit on the couch...?" John asks.  
Five minutes later, Mary calls out to Krissy who's changing into her first of thirty seven dresses in the guest room "Okay Krissy. Come on out!" She turns on her random boom box, Watch Me by Bella Thorne and Zendaya starting to play. Krissy walks out in a long yellow dress, that covers her legs. "Meh" says Owens. Krissy frowns. Mary starts to dance to the song, mouthing along to the words. "You look beautiful, honey!" She smiles. "It's not long enough" John instructs, crossing his arms. "What? Dad! It covers my LEGS!And the only reason for that is because I'm too lazy to shave them. Dean, Sam, what do you guys think?" She asks, looking at them. "The dress is too tacky" Dean says. "Yeah. Too yellow. But then again, if the the guy assaults you in a dark alley, then people would be able to notice you because of the dress" Sam adds. "If the guy was assaulting her then I don't think she'd be WEARING the dress" Owens chimes in. "Uhhhh..." Krissy's voice quivers. "What...?" Mary turns off the music. "Guys! Stop it! You're scaring her!" She yells. "So do you guys like the dress or not?" Krissy asks. The men awkwardly say their negative answers. "Fine, then. Then it looks like I'll have to try on thirty six more dresses for you guys to judge" she says, edge in her tone. "I love it!" Dean instantly says, giving an awkward thumbs up. "Yeah...!" Says Sam. "Beautiful!" Says John. "I don't give a fuck" Mr. Owens finishes. Mary's cellphone rings in her pocket. She takes it out, checking the caller ID. "Oh. It's Pam" she smiles, before answering. "Hey Mary. It's Pam. I was just calling to let you know that Krissy's date is ready whenever Krissy is. They're real great. They'll be meeting at a fancy restaurant downtown." "Oh, sounds great!" Mary smiles. "I'll let her know. We're trying on dresses right now. Bye." She hangs up. "Oh, I'm so excited!" Krissy smiles.   
Ten minutes later, Krissy says bye to everyone, before walking out the front door in the same yellow dress. After ten seconds of silence, John tells Dean and Sam "Boys. Go spy on your sister", giving them a serious look. "John! That is an invasion of privacy!" Mary scolds. "Okay!" The boys smile together. "Boys, no! I won't let you" Mary tells then. "We'll bring you back food" Dean persuades. "Stay safe."  
Krissy enters the restaurant, looking around. "Um...blind date?" She calls out. "Over here!" She hears a female voice that wasn't Emily's. She frowns, and looks over to see the blind Jenna Marshall sitting alone at a table ten feet away, smiling and waving in her direction. Krissy walks over, and sits down. "Um, who are you...?" She asks. "I'm Jenna Marshall. Who are you?" "I'm Krissy Winchester" herself answers. "Wait. KRISSY Winchester?" She asks. "Yeah..." "I was told that I would be waiting for SAM Winchester." "What?" Krissy asks. "Sam's dating Spencer Hastings. But wait. If you were TOLD who your date would be, then doesn't that ruin the part of it being a 'blind date'?" She asks. "'Blind'...'date'...?" Jenna asks, pointing to the shades over her eyes. Krissy stares at her, frowning, when Dean and Sam walk through the door, visible as fuck. Jenna notices Sam, and pulls her shades off, grinning. "Sam!" She smiles. They look over at her. Krissy looks over at them, and the bros freeze. "GUYS?" She asks. "BITCH can SEE?!" Dean asks, staring at Jenna. Emily runs through the door, in a blue dress, pissed. "Jenna, stay away from my girl. Krissy is MINE!" She yells. "Emily! Stop! It's not worth it!" They hear Spencer's voice, as she runs into the building, now standing next to Sam. They look at each other. "Oh hey Sam" she greets. "Hey Spencer." The vein on Jenna's forehead pops out. "Spencer? As in Spencer HASTINGS?!" She yells. "Yeah...? And hey how come your eyes aren't fucked up?" Spencer asks. Jenna gets up, and stomps over to Spencer. "Because I can see, beeotch. And after I'm through with you, you're gonna regret stealin' my man, AND doing what you and your awful friends did to me." "Spencer what is she talking about?" Sam asks. "Go ahead Spencer. Tell them. Tell them about that night. About the me thing" Jenna grills. "What?" Spencer asks. It's silent. "You and the other girls call it the Jenna thing, so I call it the me thing. Would ya just tell them?!" She asks. Everyone is staring at Spencer, who's sweating and biting her top lip. The tension is rising, when "DIE!!!" Emily screams to Jenna, attacking her and starting to claw her. "Stop it! The girl's BLIND for God's sake!" Dean yells to Emily. "No she ISN'T, Dean" Krissy tells him, still sitting at the table.   
"Wait. What? I thought she was. Is she not? What's going on? Oh, I'm so confused" he says. "Stop it!" Krissy screams, getting up and waking over to them, pulling Emily off of Jenna. Jenna stands up, her face bleeding. "Spencer, what's going on..." Sam asks her. Spencer sighs, knowing that she has no choice but to tell the truth.


	10. Risks and Climaxes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer tells the truth, and they all decide to stand up to Alison.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! :)

PART 10: Risks and Climaxes  
Spencer slowly sighs. Everyone is staring at her, including everyone else in the restaurant. "In the summer going into seventh grade, Emily, me, and the other girls-including Ali, were having a sleepover and were trying on each others clothes" she starts to explain. Dean's eyes widen, and he says "I am suddenly very more interested in this story." "Dean!" Sam, Jenna, Emily, and Krissy yell to him, Spencer frowning, before continuing. "Anyway...we thought someone was peeping through the window. Ali was sure it was Jenna's step brother, Toby, so she pressured the rest of us to go with her to put a stink bomb in their garage. But it was actually a firework, and when she threw it in the garage, she was sure that it was Toby who was in there. But he wasn't." Dean gasps. "Oh my gosh! Was it your grandpa?! Step aunt?! Drunk uncle?! He asks. "It was ME. Dumbass" Jenna snaps. "Ohhhhh..." Everyone but Spencer ooh's. "That's right. They BLINDED me, and blamed the WHOLE THING on Toby! He had gotten sent away, and has been gone ever since!" Jenna yells. "But you're not REALLY blind..." Emily states. Everyone stares at Jenna. "Ugh. Fine! I just wanted you guys to feel bad for me, okay?! If people didn't think I was blind, I wouldn't have won best dress at the school dance last year!" She says. "I beat ALISON, guys. ALISON!" She adds. "Geez first Pam now Jenna; there's a lotta liars in this town" Dean murmurs. "Oh. Please. You should see my old town. Rosewood" Spencer tells him. "But Jenna, if you're gonna be mad at ANYONE, be mad at Alison. I mean, SHE'S the one that threw the firework in your garage" Krissy points out. "You have a point, Krissy. But if the other girls REALLY wanted to stop her, they would have" Jenna responds, glaring at Emily and Spencer. They frown. "Hey! D-don't blame us...!" Emily defends. "Yeah! Alison is...capable of a lot of things...." Adds Spencer. "Like throwing a firework in your garage" Dean states. Everyone else nods. "Well why don't you guys stand UP to Alison?" Sam asks Emily and Spencer. "Yeah. You guys should. She deserves it" Jenna adds. People in the restaurant cheer and clap. Spencer and Emily think. "You know what? We SHOULD" says Emily, stomping her foot. "And we WILL!" Yells Spencer. Everyone else cheers. "C'mon. Let's go to wherever she could be" says Emily. "Well it says here on my phone-which I took my moms tracking device out of-that according to her last Instagram post, she's at her house with Aria and Hanna." "Then let's go there" says Sam. "Yeah. Let's stick it to her" Dean adds. "I would LOVE to stick it to her" Jenna grunts. "Same" Krissy says. "You're right. Let's do this!" Emily yells. "Yeah!" Spencer agrees. Everyone else in the restaurant cheers them on. "YEAH!" Spencer, Emily, Jenna, Krissy, Dean, and Sam, scream together proudly, before stomping out.   
They're fiercely stomping on the sidewalk of Ali's street, her house three doors down, other people from the restaurant marching a couple of feet behind him, continuing to cheer, clap, yell, and some even holding up supportive signs. Jenna and the others stop walking, and spin around, facing the rest of the people at once. "WILL YOU GUYS GO HOME?!??!" Dean shouts, making them flinch and stop doing what they were doing. They stare at them for a couple of seconds, before breaking eye contact, and depressingly aww-ing. They turn away, and slowly walk away, out of sight. Jenna huffs. "Let's just go and get this over with. I can't WAIT to see the look on her face when she sees that I'm not blind."   
"Unless you're here with my pizza, fucking leave" Ali snaps to all of them after she opens the door, seeing all of them awkwardly standing on her porch. "Ali, quit being such a bitch and let us in" Dean orders in a retorting tone. "Where are Aria and Hanna" he snaps. "Notice that I can SEE, Ali?! HA!" Jenna screams to her. "You're not really blind? Then you're a fucking liar and a faker and in the fall, everyone at school will know" Alison tells her, putting her hands on her hips. They stare at her. "Didn't see that one coming..." Jenna says. "Just let us in!" Sam screams. "O-M-G! Hey guys!" They hear Aria's smiling and cheery voice. They hear Hanna trying to speak to them, but too much of her chocolate bar is in her mouth. "Let us in?" Krissy asks. Ali scoffs. "Fine. But make it quick. I don't need your GERMS all over the place" she spits. They all walk into the house, leading into the family room. Aria and Hanna are attached dog leashes, attached to hooks on the fire place. They're standing on all fours like dogs, and there are dog bowls below, Aria's full of lucky charms, Hanna's full of chocolate bars. "Um, what the hell is this?" Sam asks Alison, staring at Hanna and Aria. "Oh. I'm making them act like dogs because I'm bored" Ali answers. Everyone else but Hanna and Aria frown. "Oh my God! Lucky charms!" Dean smiles, running over to where Aria's bowl, picking it up, and starting to eat the lucky charms, making irrelevant, loud, noises. "Hey! Woof woof woof woof...!" Aria starts to bark at him. Along with Dean's annoying eating noises, Sam gets a headache, and feels like his head is spinning around. Alison's older brother, Jason, walks in, and the noises stop. Dean swallows the last of the lucky charms, and drops the bowl on the floor. They all stare at him. Jason looks like shit, with bags under his eyes, and a five o' clock shadow. He smells like cigarette smoke, a dumpster, and a bunch of goldfish that clogged a toilet. "I'm back. Not that I care" he says. He belches, before letting out a long fart. "Ohhhh I really needed to get that out" he breathes. Everyone else cringes. He randomly pulls out a cigarette and lights it. He puts it in his mouth, and swallows it whole, gulping. The rest all stare at him, bewildered. They suddenly hear the sound of an explosion coming from his stomach, and they look it. Jason looks down at the same area. "Oh yeah..." He breathes. "Jason, I told you to never fart in front of my friends. It's embarrassing" Ali tells him. She looks at Sam, Dean, Krissy, and Jenna. "Well, they're not my friends" she says. "And Hanna, Emily, Aria, and I ARE?" Spencer asks, gritting her teeth. Ali looks at her. "Duh, Spencer. Quit being so stupid. I thought you were the smart one. Actually, you aren't. I'M the smart one" she says. "You know what Ali?! You're a no good lying bitch" Spencer states. "WHAT?!" Alison shrieks. "Took the words right out of my mouth" says Jason. "WHAT?!" Ali repeats, scowling at him. "Yeah. You're a shitty sister, ya know? Always taking my things, and snapping at me? For all I care, you can go fuck yourself" he says. She gawks. "You only care about yourself" Sam says. "You're annoying as hell" says Krissy. "You're not even THAT hot" Dean finishes. "I HATE you for what you did to Toby" Jenna says. "I told them about the Jenna thing, by the way" Spencer adds. "Ali, you're rude and dumb" Aria chimes in. "You make fun of my weight" states Hanna. "And MY sexuality" Emily finishes, before Alison shouts "ALL OF YOU FUCK OFF!!!!!!!" The house shakes, and no one moves, or speaks. "You are all, fucking. Losers. Ya hear me? Sam and Spencer are gonna have retarded babies-" "Um they're actually both pretty smart so wouldn't they have smart children-?" Dean asks, but Ali interrupts "SHUT UP DEAN!" making everyone else flinch again. "Emily's a dyke, Hanna's fat, Aria's fucking annoying, Spencer's a naive nerd, Jenna's a liar, Sam's a freak, Dean's a loser who can't get any friends his own age, and Jason's gonna be homeless in five months!" She yells. "And YOU'RE a mean spirited bitch" Spencer snaps. "That's it! I'm leaving!" Alison yells, stomping over to the door and shoving Jason out of the way. She's about to storm out, when the door is broken down, falling down on top of her. Seven cops-including Pam-come bursting in. "Mom?" Emily asks. "WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF...!" Aria shout-barks, struggling to run forward. She's pulling so hard, that she somehow makes the fireplace explode and fall apart, Aria, Dean, and Hanna flying forward, landing on floor. Jenna screams. Everyone else is too shocked to speak. "What the hell was that?" Ali asks, her voice muffled, the door still on top of her. "Mom, what's going on?!" Emily asks. "Honey, I hate to break it to ya, but unfortunately, you are all suspects in the murder of Ben Braeden." "What?!" Dean asks, he and Hanna stand up. "Ben's chubby friend?" Hanna asks. "Look who's talkin'" Ali mutters. "Oh, shut up Ali!" They all scream to her. "Yes" says Pam. "Now-" "Oh my God!!!!" Aria shrieks, still face down on the floor. "Aria, calm down. We're just going to take you down to the station for some questions-" Pam starts to calmly explain. "No! I'm blind!!!" Aria shrieks. "What?!" Everyone else asks. "Don't worry Aria. I know how you feel" says Jenna. "OH, SHUT UP, JENNA!" Everyone else shouts to her. The pizza man walks up to the porch, curiously looking around. He stops in the doorway, staring into the room before him. "Somebody order a pizza...?" He asks. Everyone but Alison looks at him. Well, Aria still looks at him, but can't see anything. "Oh that's me!" Says Ali, throwing the door off of her, and standing up. She jogs over, and takes the box of pizza he's holding. "Your total is-" "YOUR total is that you're a fucking loser who delivers pizzas!" Ali snaps. "That's not even a good insult!" Sam yells. Alison rolls her eyes. Pam takes her gun out of nowhere, and aims it at the pizza man. "Put your hands up! You're a suspect in the murder of Ben Braeden!" She yells. "Mom!" Emily starts to scold. "I'm just the pizza man...!" He yells, putting his hands in the air, and starting to shake. "My name is Jeff...!" "Well, Jeff, you're comin' down to the station with us" says Pam, bringing her gun down. "Um, actually, we're going to have to go to the hospital first" Spencer says. "Well, first hospital. But THEN the station" Pam tells Jeff. "But I have thirty seven more deliveries to make...!" Jeff sacredly announces. "Well thirty seven people can wait. Let's go. ALL of you" Pam orders. "Mom! I'm your DAUGHTER!" Emily yells. "Yeah honey I know but I don't want the others thinking that I'm giving you special treatment" she sincerely explains, looking at her. Everyone else rolls their eyes. "Can I LEAVE?" Jeff asks. "NO!"   
The Winchester siblings and Jeff rode in one squad car. The liars, Jason, and Jenna rode in the other. "I can't believe I'm blind" Aria says, as she, and the other girls including Jenna, are sitting in the backseat. "I'm so sorry, Aria. But look at the positives!" Spencer tries to reassure, before realizing what she had said. "Not cool" says Jason, sitting the passengers seat, eating another cigarette. "Spencer, blind jokes AREN'T funny" Jenna snaps to her. "You PRETENDED to be blind for almost a YEAR!" Spencer screams.   
"Why. Must the PIZZA GUY sit in my lap?!" Krissy groans, sitting in between Dean and Sam in the backseat of the second cop car being driven by Pam. Jeff anxiously rocking and back and fourth in her lap, fiddling his hands together, and whispering gibberish. "Krissy, too much of my paperwork is in the passengers seat" Pam says. "I can't go to PRISON! My parents will kick me out of their basement!" Jeff yells. "Your life is sad" says Dean. "And doesn't make sense. If you went to prison, your parents wouldn't HAVE to kick you out of their basement" Krissy explains. "Jeff, you didn't DO anything!" Sam yells. "And neither did WE" he adds, looking at Pam. "Pam, Ben was murdered in EUROPE. NONE of us were in Europe" Dean says. "I was..." Krissy admits. Everyone else gasps in horror. "But that does not mean that I MURDERED Ben! If I DID, I would've been flaunting about it ever since I got back" she adds. "Well think. WHO else was in Europe with Ben?" Sam asks. After a few seconds of thinking, Pam stomps on the gas pedal, and the tires screech. "I'm calling Aria." Says Sam.   
Mike opens the door, to Pam, Sam, Dean, Krissy, Jeff-who's still scared-Jenna, Jason, Alison, Spencer, Aria, Emily, Hanna, and all of the other police officers standing on the porch. Mike's munching on a doughnut. He gasps, and looks at Krissy. "Krissy! You've come back for me!" He smiles. "No" she snaps. "What HAPPENED to your eyes?" He asks Aria, looking at her. "I'm blind." "I thought SHE was blind" he says, pointing to Jenna. "I faked it" she says. "Oh. Cool!" He smiles. "NOT cool! I, your SISTER, am BLIND!" Aria yells. "Aria, you're not DYING. So just stop" Mike tells her. She gawks. "What's going on?" He asks. "We know you murdered Ben, you creep" says Ali. "WHAT? Why would I murder BEN? He was my best FRIEND!" Ben yells. "Yeah, I ain't buyin' it. Turn around and put your hands behind your back. And gimme the doughnut. Police officers love doughnuts. According to every cartoon in the world" Pam tells him. Mike gives her the doughnut, and slowly turns around, doing as told. "Aria! Do something!" He yells. "I can't! I'm blind!" She yells. Everyone else face palms. The cops shove Mike into the cruiser, and two of them get into the front. They drive away, the sirens blasting. "Pam, Mike is TWELVE. You can't put a twelve year old in prison" Krissy says. "That doesn't mean we still can't question him. If-I mean when-he's guilty, we'll just put him in a juvenile detention center" Pam answers. "For how long?" Asks Alison. "Oh, ya know, three, four..." Pam answers. Everyone else waits for her to finish. "Three or four WHAT?" Aria asks. "Months?" Questions Krissy. "YEARS?" Hanna finishes. "Yup, maybe five" says Pam. The rest of the group exasperatedly sighs. "Well, let's get you kids home" Pam says. "Wait. So we're not being questioned?" Dean asks. "Nope. Mike is our prime suspect" Pam answers. "YES!" Jeff yells, relieved. "But Mike was Ben's best friend! He should be the LAST person you're questioning!" Aria yells. "Aria, you're blind. Mike's troubles should be the LAST thing on your mind" Pam tells her. "Speaking of Aria now being blind, let's go to the mall and pick out some cool shades for her" Ali says. Aria gasps and grins. "I'd love that!" She smiles. "Um, can I go back to my deliveries...?" Jeff asks. "No" everyone else answers.   
"Here we are" says Pam, as she, and everyone else, including Jeff, walks into the sunglasses department of one of the fashion stores at the mall. Jeff's sweaty hand is holding Aria's, leading her. "Um, who's holding my hand...?" Aria asks. Jeff giggles. "This is the first time I've ever held a girls hand. Wow" he smiles. "Ah!" Aria yelps, taking her hand away. "You're like, twenty four!" She yells. "Twenty six" Jeff corrects. "Your life is sad" Dean tells him again. "Okay Aria. Pick out a pair of sunglasses" Emily says. "I can't, Emily, I'm blind..." Aria blankly tells her. "Oh..." Everyone else says. "NONE of you thought this through?!" She yells to them, fuming. "I'm just the pizza man..." Jeff weakly reasons.   
"THAT'S NO EXCUSE!" Aria shouts.  
"You look good in your glasses, Aria..." Sam tells her, as them, Dean, Emily, Hanna, Spencer, Krissy, Jenna, Alison, and Jason all sit in Alison's living room. Jeff proceeded to deliver his pizzas. Pam is down at the police station, questioning Mike. Jason and Dean are looking at a porn magazine together. "Thanks, Sam" Aria says, looking at Hanna. "I'm to your right" Sam says. "Oh..." Jenna receives a text on her phone. "Oh my God" she says, as reads it. "What?" Everyone else asks. "My step mom just texted me" Jenna states. "And?" Krissy asks. The front door swings open. "I'm baaaaaackkkk!" They smile, standing in the doorway, doing jazz hands.   
"TOBY?!"


	11. Everybody Hates Toby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toby's back, Krissy gets her eyebrows done, and Mary falsely accuses Spencer of something

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know why I'm continuing to update this lol. But if people are still reading and enjoying this thank you so much! This is too much fun to write, honestly.

PART 11: EVERYBODY HATES TOBY  
"That's RIGHT! I'm back from military school!" Toby smiles, closing the door and walking over to all of them. "Since when did the door get fixed?" Emily asks. "Toby! You're back!" Jenna smiles, getting up and running over to him. Toby stares at her. Jenna's eyes widen. "Uhhhh...." She says, before purposely walking into a wall. "Whoops." "You're not BLIND?!" Toby asks. "She's not, but 'I' am!" Aria smiles. Toby whips his head over to Aria, Hanna, Alison, Emily, and Spencer. "YOU GUYS" He spits, starting to fume. "Please don't kill us! I'm already blind!" Aria begs. "I cannot BELIEVE you thought I was peeping on you guys. I'm not a PERVERT!" He yells to them. Hanna accidentally sits on the remote, causing the TV to turn on. A video of Jenna and a shirtless Toby making out on Jenna's bed is on the screen. Everyone but Aria gasps. "Uhhh that's not me! That's my evil twin! Tony...Hawk!" Toby yells. "Damn" Dean says, smirking. Jason also grins in amusement. "What the HELL?!" Spencer asks. "What's going on?!" Aria asks. "Look at the TV, Aria!" Krissy yells. "I'M BLIND!!!!" "Toby and I made love to each other, okay?!" Jenna cries out. "Ewwwwww" Everyone but she and Toby and Jenna says. "You guys are STEP SIBLINGS!" Sam yells. "Oh, it's not like we're related!" Jenna protests. The video on the TV becomes graphic, and Emily yells "TURN IT OFF!" Hanna instantly does as told. "How'd those tapes even get IN there?" Spencer asks. Alison huffs. "I found them in Jenna's room. I was going to blackmail her with them cos she stole my Lester Holt poster. But I decided not to once she told me she faked her blindness" she explains. Jenna gawks. "Oh, quit acting so surprised" Ali tells her. Everyone else shrugs. "But why were you watching them..." Sam asks Ali. "No reason..."  
"Okay. MAYBE I had the hots for my step sister. But that does NOT mean I was peeping through Alison's window!" Toby yells. "You don't have the hots for me anymore??!" Jenna shrieks. "No, because you're a LYING BITCH!" Toby screams to her. Jenna gawks again. "Fine! I guess if no one wants me here, then I'LL JUST LEAVE!" She shouts, before running out of the house, sobbing. It's quiet. "Oh well. Who wants to play Jenga?" Toby smiles. "Toby! You can't just come over here and expect us to hang OUT with you! Leave!" Alison yells. Toby glares at her. "You're a PERVERT!" Emily yells. "I did not PEEP!" Toby defends. "But you STILL banged your step sister!" Aria yells. "Can I borrow those tapes?" Dean asks Alison.   
"DEAN!"   
"Fine. Then I guess I'll just go back to Jenna, and bang her some more!" Toby yells, before storming out of the house. "Ew!" Krissy cries out, crinkling her nose. "Hot" Dean and Jason say together. Everyone else cringes. "Well, I'm gonna go be homeless" Jason says, walking out. "Low life!" Ali yells. Emily's phone starts to ring. She checks it and says "It's my mom." She picks up.   
"Hello?"  
"Okay."  
She puts it on speakerphone. "Everyone gather around. My mom thinks they know who killed Ben and it's not Mike" Emily tells them. They do as told. "Everyone, Mike didn't kill Ben. But we think we we know who did" Pam says. "Who?" Everyone else asks at once.   
"Uh oh. My phone's gonna die. Uh just come down to the station-"  
The call drops.   
"Damn cliffhangers" Dean mutters.   
So, they drive to the police station. The six girls rode in the backseat, the two boys in the front seats. "Was that...Jason?" Spencer asks, as the car drives by the sidewalk, a blanket over his body, a beer bottle in his hand. "I think that was!" Krissy answers. "I wouldn't know..." Says Aria. "I TOLD you guys he would be homeless" Alison tells them. "Actually, you said he would be homeless in five months" Sam points out.   
"Fuck off Sam-!" Alison starts to scream to him, when they hear a horn honk twice. "Hey guys!" Jeff smiles in his pizza delivery truck that's next to their car. He happily waves to them. "Drive faster. Drive faster!" Krissy yells to Dean. Dean speeds up.   
"Aria!" Mike smiles, standing across the room from she and the others ten minutes later, in the investigation room at the police station. She runs over to hug him, but runs into the wall. "Ouch!" Pam sees, and runs over, helping her up. "Thanks. Who are you?" Aria asks her. "It's Pam."  
"Oh hi!"   
Pam has them all sit down at a giant table, and takes out paperwork. "We think we know who killed Ben" she states. "Yeah. THINK. What if whoever they are actually didn't?!" Krissy asks, scowling. "Krissy, chill with the attitude" Pam says, frowning. "Well you're the one who set me up with Jenna for a blind date!" Krissy yells. "I panicked, okay?! I had to tell her you were Sam. But it's okay, Krissy. I know" Pam says. "Know WHAT?"  
"You're gay."   
"WHAT?!"   
Emily gasps and grins. "YAY!"  
"NO!" Krissy shouts. "Now you're just being racist" Aria says. "I am  
NOT!" Krissy yells. They're all arguing at once, when they hear a faded bang. "EVERYONE GET DOWN!" They hear an old lady yell. Commotion starts. "What's happening?!" Spencer asks. The lady bursts into the room. She's wearing a black hoodie, and holding a gun. "GIMME THE MONEY!" She shouts, pointing her gun at Pam. "Ma'am, the money isn't here" Pam says, the children freezing in shock. "Oh. Whoopsies. My blood pressure medication has a short term memory loss side effect" she says. "Oh and I just remember I left my rocking chair back in Europe! Dang it!" She pouts.   
"Uh, where in Europe, exactly?" Dean asks.   
"Liechtenstein."  
Police officers burst in, and attack her to the ground, handcuffing her. "My hip!" She cries. They unmask her.   
"Mrs. LEXENBURG?!" Sam cries. "You're under arrest for the murder of Ben Braeden. We knew you were the murderer all along" Pam says, getting up and walking over to her, as the other cops stand her up. "You questioned ME!" Mike yells, spreading his arms out. Pam shushes him. "You're also being charged with breaking and entering, and attempting thievery" Pam says. "The only reason I killed him was because when he mowed my lawn for me last month, I paid him more than I offered and when he promised he would pay me back, HE NEVER DID" Lexenburg explains. "How much did he OWE you?" Sam asks.   
"Twenty cents."   
"I can't BELIEVE you! I took CANDY from you!" Sam yells.   
"Next time they'll be poisonous."  
Sam yelps out in fear.   
"Alright, that's it, let's go" one cop says, before they shove her out of the room, and out of the station. "She'll be going to prison for the rest of her life. So, not a very long time" Pam tells them. They all shrug. "Aria? Do your parents know you're blind now?" Dean asks her. "Oh. I texted them about it" Mike says. "What? Well how come that never texted or called ME?!" Aria asks. "Uh Aria you're blind you couldn't be able to read the text message" Sam points out. "Well they still could've CALLED me! I'm BLIND not DEAF" Aria protests. "You kids should get home. Emily, my shift is over. I'll take you home." Dean gives Aria, Mike, Alison, Spencer, and Hanna a ride home. When Mike leads Aria into the house, their parents Ella and Byron are standing in the family room, grinning at them like idiots. "Surprise!" They smile together. "Mom! Dad!" Aria smiles. "Whoa! Is that a dog?" Mike smiles, talking about the tiny dog in Byron's lap. Aria gasps. "You got me a service dog?! I've never loved you guys this much!" Aria smiles. Byron and Ella freeze, their smiles dropping. "Oooohhhhh. Uh, this dog is for Mike. To say we're sorry for what happened to Ben..." Byron explains. "WHAT?!" Aria asks. "WHAT?!" Mike smiles. "Aria, we're sorry!" Ella dramatically apologizes. "But get THIS! We got you a CANE STICK THINGY to help you walk!" Byron smiles, starting to dance. "Really?" Aria smiles. "Yup! It's upstairs in your room, on your bed" Ella smiles. "Oh...!" Aria smiles. It's silent. "Well can someone LEAD me to my room?" She asks. "Oh yeah..."   
At Mr. Owen's house, when Dean and Sam told him about Mrs. Lexenburg murdering Ben, he responded. "Really? Eh. Not surprised. She's always been kinda crazy. It's late. Go to bed." "But she's your GRANDMOTHER! Do you even care that she's in prison?" Sam asks, spreading his arms out. "Samuel, she's been arrested thirty seven times before, and has three DUI's. We're all used to this." "But she seemed so nice!" "She's a very good actress. In fact she WAS an actress, when she was a little girl. She was little Debby in the stain remover commercials." Dean gasps and grins. "Little Debby? Oh my gosh! I LOVE those commercials!" Krissy comes rushing into the room. "Oh my God! Yeah!" She smiles. "Little Debby, forever your friend-" Dean and Krissy start to sing the song, making Sam and Mr. Owens frown. "When she leaves, she'll come back again-!" "Alright! We get it!" Sam interrupts. Mary and John walk into the room. "Did I here singing?" John asks. "Krissy and I were singing the little Debby song" Dean tells them. Mary gasps. "Oh, that's amazing! We can start a family band!" "NO" everyone else says at once.   
"I don't see why we have to come to this" Dean complains, he, Sam, and Krissy sitting in the backseat of the impala the next afternoon, John driving and Mary in the passengers seat. They're on their way to the spa, for Krissy to get her eyebrows waxed. "Boys, this is a family milestone! Your sister is getting her eyebrows waxed for the first time!" Mary smiles. "So what? It's not like we were there when she got her first period" Dean snaps. "Actually, Dean; we were. Remember all the screaming?" Sam asks him. "I don't want to talk about it!" Krissy dramatically cries out. John parks in the parking lot of the spa, and cuts the engine. They open the doors and step out. John pulls up a tissue out of nowhere. "Oh, my little girl is growing up!" He says, wiping his tears. "Dad, I'm just getting my eyebrows done. And I JUST went on my first date last night! Well, not really. But let's just go in."   
"What's your name, dear?" The lady that's about to wax her eyebrows asks her in the small room where Krissy is lying on the table. "Krissy" she answers. "What a beautiful name! Oh, where have I heard that name before? Oh, that's right! My son-" she stops talking, and stares down at Krissy. "Wait. Krissy WINCHESTER?" She asks. "Yeah.....?" Krissy asks, growing nervous. "YOU BROKE MY SON'S HEART!" She shrieks. "What?!" Krissy asks. "I've never even had a boyfriend! At one point I THOUGHT I did, but hormones are a real bitch." "Oh, don't play INNOCENT with ME. You know who I'm talking about! Damien!" "You're DAMIEN'S mom?!" Krissy exclaims. "That's right. He came home crying, saying that Krissy Winchester broke his heart." "What?! If anything, he broke MY heart." "Oh, don't play the victim, sissy." "'I' didn't break his heart. Mona Vanderwal broke his heart. She cheated on him." "WHAT?! OHHHHH I WILL KILL THAT BITCH!" She jumps on a random motor scooter, and crashes out of the room, to where people are getting manicures. Sam, Dean, John, and Mary are sitting next to each other in a row of chairs. Mary brings down her magazine, and everyone stares at her, as the woman crashes out of the building, speeding away. Krissy awkwardly walks out of the room. "Uhhhh...is there anyone else that can do my eyebrows...?" She announces. "Krissy, what happened?" Mary asks. "She's nuts." "Oh, not again" the manager whines at the desk where people sign in and pay. "This happens all the time. I've been trying to fire her for three months, but she's just so crazy. Like crazy Steve from Drake and Josh. And her SON is annoying as FUCK." "Tell me about it" the Winchesters mutter together. Toby slowly walks in, and asks. "...Uhhh....were you guys robbed? What happened?" "Oh. Sorry. One of our employees had another melt down. What will it be today?" "Pedicure, please" he smiles. "Toby?" Sam asks. Toby looks at him. "Oh...! Hey.....Sam...! Uh-uh-I was just scheduling a pedicure for...Jenna...she was GREAT in bed last night. I mean what?" Everyone "Eeeeewwww's". "T-M-I" Mary mutters. Dean cringes at her use of teen lingo. "Who is this boy and why is he such a freak?" John asks. "Oh. This is Toby. He got accused of blinding his step sister Jenna-who was only pretending to be blind-by throwing a firework in their garage, and got sent away." "But who REALLY threw the firework into the garage?" Mary asks. "It was Alison, Aria, Hanna, Emily, and Spencer" Sam answers. "WHAT?!" Mary shrieks. "Mom, don't worry. Alison pressured the other girls! SHE'S the one who threw it. The other girls were just there with her" Krissy tells her. "Yeah mom. She's a BITCH" Dean supports. "Oh, Alison would NEVER do such a thing!" Mary cries out. "Are you BLIND?!" Krissy asks. "Jenna isn't" Toby mutters. Everyone looks at him for a second. "Oh, I bet it was that Spencer girls idea. Isn't she some sort of genius?" "Mom! Spencer is very smart but she would NEVER do something like that!" Sam yells. "Bull-doodee. Sam, you are not allowed to see Spencer, Aria, Hanna, or Emily ever again. They're bad influences." "Mom! C'mon! They're the only friends I have! And Spencer's my girlfriend! My heart aches for her!" Everyone else starts laughing at Sam. "You're like, fourteen, kid. You'll be hard again from the sight of some other hot chick in five minutes" the manager at the desk tells him. "Hey!" Sam yells, frowning. "Mom, you've MET Spencer! You think she's nice!" He yells, looking at her. "Not anymore. Sweetie, she's too psychopathic for you." "She is NOT psychopathic! ALISON is!" Dean is. Mary happily gasps. "I got it!" She smiles. "What?" The rest of her family asks. "I can set up a therapy session for Spencer and Jenna at the house! Clearly Spencer is angry about her for something to do something THAT awful to her. It'll be fun!" She smiles. "Mom, Spencer didn't throw that firework! Ali did!" Sam yells. "Can somebody just do my eyebrows?!" Krissy cries out. "DIANA!!!!" The manger shouts into a random room, making everyone flinch. A tall woman comes out, trembling and sweating. "Y-yes boss?" She stutters. "Do these young lady's eyebrows ASAP" she orders, pointing to Krissy. "She's gonna need it" she adds. "Hey!" Krissy calls out. "Come with me dear" Diana smiles to Krissy. Krissy walks up to her, and she leads her to the same room Krissy was in before. "I just started working here today, so excuse me if I mess up" she tells her, as they walk into the room. "What?!" Krissy asks, just before Diana shuts the door. It's quiet. Two employees set Toby up for a pedicure. "Toby, why are you getting a PEDICURE?" Sam asks. "Are you gay?" Dean asks. Toby scoffs. "STEREOTYPICAL, much?" He asks, frowning. "I'm getting this pedicure for a GIRL, thank you very much." Mary, and all the other women in the room "oooohhh". "Shut up!" Toby giggles, blushing. "Not Jenna, I hope" Sam says, cringing. "Jenna? Please. We're only sexy time buddies. But, it's a secret." He giggles. They hear Krissy scream, in the other room. They all look over. "Krissy!" Mary screams. The door opens, and she steps out, with no eyebrows. Everyone's mouths drop open. "No one...say...a WORD" she groans. Diana comes rushing out, having an anxiety attack. "Oh, I'm so sorry! I-" the manager slams her hands on the table. "THAT'S IT! GET OUT OF HERE! YOU'RE FIRED!" She shouts to her, pointing to the door. Diana runs out, screaming and sobbing. "Fuck up" the manager says under her breath. "What am  
I supposed to do?!" Krissy shrieks. It's silent.   
"We can give you coupons...!"   
Sam and Dean were too scared to tease Krissy about her new look on the way home, so they kept their mouths shut. "Well shit" Mr. Owens mutters when he sees her. "I'm hideous!" Krissy yells, running to the room she shares with her family, slamming and locking the door. "I'll go help her with her self esteem" John says, walking over and kicking the door open. "Dad! What are you doing?!" Everyone else hears Krissy shriek. "Sam," Mary says seriously, looking at him. "Call Spencer and have her come over. And make sure she brings Jenna along. We are HAVING a therapy session."   
"Spencer, there's something I need to tell you" Sam tells her over the phone five minutes later. "What is it?" She asks. "My mom thinks you were the one that threw the firework in Jenna's garage."  
"What? Why would she think that?"   
"Well, my family and I were at the spa because Krissy wanted to get her eyebrows done. Toby walked in to get a pedicure."  
"Why was Toby getting a pedicure?"   
"Something about impressing some girl. But anyways, my parents asked who he was, and I explained everything to them."   
"But why would your mom think 'I' was the one that through the firework?" Spencer asks. "I dunno. Something about you being a genius, and Ali being an angel." "So what's the point of you telling me this? Does she think I'm a bad person?" Spencer worriedly asks. "Yeah. Kinda. I'm not allowed to see you, Aria, Hanna, or Emily anymore. She thinks you're all criminals, or something."   
"WHAT?! But-"  
"Don't worry. My mom wants you and Jenna to come to Mr. Owens's house for a 'therapy session.'"   
"But I DIDN'T throw that firework in her garage."  
"Just go along with it. Make up some excuse that makes my mom feel sorry for you. Tell Jenna to go along with it, too."   
"Alright. I'll go along with it. We don't need YOUR mom trying to keep us away from each other, too."   
"Exactly. Tell Jenna. But what are you going to tell your mom?"   
"Easy. She's passed out on the couch from her wine, so I can just sneak out and have Melissa cover for me. I'll see you soon."   
"Now. Spencer, what made you want to hurt Jenna so badly?" Mary calmly asks her, as Spencer and Jenna sit in two chairs in Mr Owens's family room. "Honey, boys LIKE girls with no eyebrows!" John is still trying to comfort Krissy in the guest room. "NO THEY DON'T DAD!!!!!" Mary, Spencer, Jenna, and Sam-who is standing in the corner of the room observing-all flinch. "Is she alright?" Jenna asks. "Uh, Krissy got into a little, sticky situation. But never mind her. Spencer, your answer?" She turns to her. "Uhhhh..." She starts, trying to think of a good lie. Sam looks at her, and makes rushing motions with his hands. "Uh-uh I guess it was a case of pure jealousy" she answers. "Yep" Jenna says, trying to go along with it. "Because...uh...T-Toby, Jenna's step brother, flirted with me." Sam's not very happy with her lie, but knows to just go with it. "And I threatened her" Jenna adds on. Spencer rapidly nods. "Oh, but why?" Mary brokenheartedly asks. "Uhhhh because...listen, okay? We got in a stupid argument in English class at school that year, so we were sorta enemies" Jenna says. "Yeah. It was stupid" Spencer adds. "And...I was so mad that...I threw the firework just to scare her. I made the other girls come with me so I wasn't alone. I didn't know that she was in there. I didn't actually LIKE Toby back. I just didn't want Jenna controlling me! My mom already controls my life enough!" She finishes. "I'm so sorry" she apologizes to Jenna. "It's okay...sis..." Jenna answers, forcing a smile. Mary wipes her tears of joy. "Oh, wonderful! I'm SO glad you guys have made up. But just one question: Jenna, why did you pretend to be blind?" "To make them feel pity for me. Duh."   
"I see..."   
"So do you understand now? Can Spencer and I be together?" Sam eagerly asks, walking over to Mary. "Absolutely...NOT! She CLEARLY has MAJOR jealousy issues! What's gonna happen if you two get in an argument, or you break up with her because of her weird teeth?" "What?" Spencer asks, feeling offended about the comment Mary made on her teeth. Jenna comforts her. "What if she throws a firework in OUR garage? She's dangerous!" "But I-!" Spencer starts to respond-"I wanna be alone!" They hear Krissy scream. She runs into the room, noticing Spencer and Jenna. She shrieks. "Don't look at me!" She cries out. "So THAT'S what happened" Jenna states. "How did this happen?" Spencer asks. "Some stupid new eyebrow girl at the spa" Krissy answers. "Krissy, I think I can fix this" Spencer tells her. John runs out, and smiles "REALLY?!" Krissy gasps. "I got it! Spencer can give me HER eyebrows!" She smiles, desperate as hell, now. Spencer doesn't speak. "I was just thinking that I could draw them back on..."   
"Oh my God Spencer thank you!" Krissy smiles, five minutes later after Spencer Drew Krissy's eyebrows back on with makeup. She squeezes her right. Spencer chuckles and hugs her back. Sam, Mary, Jenna, and John smile. "Oh, I can't separate you two!" Mary smiles, as Spencer and Krissy pull away. "Spencer may have some issues, but we'll work past them. You two can continue seeing each other." "Spencer didn't throw the freaking firework! ALISON did!" Jenna yells. "THIS again? You kids and your crazy stories" Mary says. "We'll prove it!" Spencer says, taking out her phone. "What are you doing?" Sam asks. "You'll see." She calls Ali, and puts it on speaker. "Fucking hello fucking?" Ali answers. "Hey Ali, remember that time you threw that firework in Jenna's garage just because you thought Toby was peeping on us while we were changing?" "Yeah, so what? Who even is this? I'm watching Sex And The City. Get to the point." "Oh just wondering bye" Spencer says, hanging up. Mary stares at Spencer. "Oh, I'm SO sorry that I accused you! But it was ONLY because you're so smart." "It's okay Mrs. Winchester. And thank you. Sam's smart as well." "Oh please. Call me Phoebe."  
"I thought your name was Mary."  
"It is; but I like Phoebe better. But why would you guys go this far to make me believe that SPENCER threw the firework?" Mary asks. "Well you wouldn't believe me, so we were trying to come up with a relevant lie that would still keep me allowed to see Spencer and the other girls. AND you insisted a therapy session." "Awww, my little Sammy cares about his friends and his girlfriend!" Mary shrieks, walking over to him and ruffling his hair. Krissy scoffs, and Spencer giggles. "Okay mom. We get it." Mary stops. "Where's Mr. Owens?" Jenna asks. "Cigarette break" everyone else but Spencer answers. "And Dean told us he was going to subway" Sam adds. "Spencer, do you have any more of that makeup you can give me?" Krissy asks. "Oh, why of course! In fact I can give it to you for good. I don't really use it anymore. We can go to my house and get it if you'd like!"   
"Hi Mr. Owens" Spencer says as she, Sam, Krissy, and Jenna walk past him on the sidewalk as he's smoking a cigarette. He takes it from his lips. "Ms. Hastings! Why it's been a while! It was SUCH a pleasure to have you in my class!" He says in a positive tone. Spencer grins. "And 'I' wasn't?" Sam asks. "No. You were awful. But move along now, ladies." "I'm a guy" Sam says. "Barely. Bye."   
The four of them walk into Spencer's house. Veronica is still passed out on the couch. "Is your mom okay?" Jenna worldly asks. "Yeah, she's fine. She drank a little too much, that's all." They hear banging coming from what sounds like Spencer's room. "What's that noise?" Sam asks. They walk upstairs, and when they open her door, Dean and Melissa are having sex in her bed. The four scream. Melissa and Dean stop, and Melissa gets off of him. "Now I WISH I was blind!" Jenna yells. "So you're NOT at subway!" Sam yells to Dean. "What are you guys doing here?!" Melissa orders. "What are YOU guys doing DOING IT in my BED?!" Spencer screams. "Well we had no other choice! I JUST changed my sheets because we had sex THERE last week!" Melissa explains. "You and Sam weren't planning to do it, were you?" Dean asks. "NO!" Sam and Spencer scream together. "I'm here to give Krissy some of my makeup." "Why is Jenna with you guys?" Dean asks. "It's a long story. Your mom knows Ali threw the firework. But just get out!" Spencer yells. Melissa and Dean get up, and quickly get dressed. "So how was that?" Dean smiles to her. Everyone else cringes. "It was pretty good. But there's something I should tell you."   
"What?"  
"I faked it."   
"WHAT?"   
"Spencerrrrr oh Spencerrrr" they hear someone singing off key outside. They frown. "What the hell is that God awful noise?" Melissa asks. They walk over to Spencer's window, and see Toby outside, sitting on grass, playing an acoustic guitar. She opens it. "TOBY?!" She yells. "Spencer! Oh, goodie!" He smiles, as he stops playing. "What are you DOING here?" Melissa asks. "Spencer, I must confess something my heart has been telling me to confess. I'm in love with you, Spencer."  
"WHAT?!" The rest all shriek. Toby grins. No one speaks, until "You're still gonna give me that makeup, right?" Krissy mutters to Spencer.


	12. Dean and Veronica Get Married

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Veronica get married. It gets strange. Very strange.

Part Twelve: Dean And Veronica Get Married  
"Toby, what do you MEAN you're in love with me?!" Spencer asks. "Spencer Olivia Hastings, I've been in love with you since the first moment I saw you." "We were twelve..."  
"Yup, you were my first erection." Everyone else cringes. "And HOW do you even know my middle name...?" She asks him. "I know your middle name, because I'm in love with you." "That makes no sense. "'I' didn't even know your middle name!" Sam tells her. "Then you're a sucky boyfriend!" Toby calls out to him. "Shut up!" Sam yells back. "Well Toby, I'm already in love with Sam. And besides, if you really DO love me, then how come you slept with Jenna all those times?" She challenges. "Hey! I get lonely!" Toby defends. "And Sam? REALLY? You can do SO much better than him" he adds. "He's not wrong" Krissy mutters. Sam scowls at her. "Toby, go home" Melissa tells him. "But wait! I got a pedicure for you!" Toby cries out. Veronica barges into the room. "What is going on here?!" She yells. Dean, Melissa, Spencer, Sam, Krissy, Dean, and Jenna all yelp out and turn around. "Hey mom. We were just...uhhhh..." She trails off. "Friggin Winchesters" she groans. "Leave!" She yells to them. "Do I have to go too?" Jenna asks. "No. You seem like a nice girl." "Seriously?!" Spencer yells. "Mrs. Hastings! Hi! I have come for your blessing!" Toby smiles. Veronica looks out the window. "Who the hell are you and why are you such a freak?" She asks. "Why, I'm Toby! And I'm in love with your daughter" he smiles. Veronica guffaws. "Yeah right. You in love with MY daughter? You're too good for her!" She exclaims. "Mom!" Spencer yells. "Oh, don't take it so personally" her mother tells her. "But Toby, you seem like such a better boy than Sam" Veronica tells him. "I know, right?" Toby smiles. "That is SO not true!" Dean yells. "Toby's been sleeping with his step sister for God knows how long." Spencer states. "Mm hm" Jenna smiles, smirking. "He has? Goodness gracious that's awful!" Veronica yells. Everyone else besides Toby and Jenna agree. "Well, to make him stop then he CLEARLY must start having sex with Spencer" Veronica states. "Ewwww!" Everyone but Toby cries. "Hot diggidy dog!" Toby smiles. "I'm gonna puke" Sam says, running to the bathroom. They then hear him throwing up. "Ummm...I'm just gonna take the makeup and leave..." Krissy states. "Bye Spencer. Have fun with Toby. Don't get pregnant." "Ah!" Spencer cries out in fear. "Stop it! You're scaring her!" Melissa yells. Krissy finds the eyebrow makeup, along with Spencer's piggy bank sitting on her dresser and leaves. "You okay Sammy?" Dean asks him, as Sam slowly walks out of the bathroom, extremely pale and dazed. "No..." "Toby is NOT going to have sex with SPENCER. He's GOING to have sex with ME. Spencer, BACK OFF!" Jenna screams. "My pleasure" Spencer answers, cringing. "Go home!" Spencer yells to Toby. "Fine. But as I leave, I am going to play the goodbye song on my guitar." He strums the chords. "Bye bye bye bye bye, goodbyeeeee. I am walking away, bye bye bye bye bye bye..." He sings, as he walks away backwards. They hear him trip, and yell "Owe!" "Mom, what the HELL are you doing encouraging me to have sex?!" Spencer yells to her. "Spencer, I lost my virginity when I was eleven. Get over it." Veronica tells her. "So did I!" Dean smiles. "See Spencer? DEAN is smart" Veronica states. "What's the capital of Las Vegas" Sam tests him. "Uhh..." "There ISN'T a capital of Las Vegas, Sam. You idiot!" Veronica snaps to Sam. "I know! I was TESTING him!" Sam defends. She sighs. "Well Spencer, after you make sweet love to Toby, be sure to say goodbye to him. Because we'll be going on a road trip to Canada." Dean gasps. "Can I come?!" "No." "Mom, you can't just make plans and not tell me. What if I don't want to go to Canada?" Spencer asks. "Would you rather make love to Toby?" "Let's go to Canada." "When?" Sam asks. "Right now" Veronica asks. "What?" Spencer asks. "For how long? Something's not right here." Veronica huffs. "Fine. Sweetie, I'm from Canada." Everyone else gasps. Toby strums a dramatic chord on his guitar. Spencer looks at him. "I know. Shocking." Veronica continues. "And, I MAY kinda be an illegal immigrant. So, unless I marry someone from here I have to go back there." "But you're already married to Dad" Spencer states. "Well sweetie, that business trip he went on? Lets just say he went back to Canada." Spencer gasps. "So you're both-" "Yes. We are both Canadians. So technically, you and Melissa are Canadian's too." "Oh, can't you just go off to the land on maypole syrup on your own? No one really likes you anyway" Krissy says. Veronica gasps. Everyone else mutters in agreement. "Well if I'm going to Canada I'm bringing Spencer with me! And Melissa!" "But Dean and I are still friends with benefits!" She cries out. "You just want to keep me and Spencer apart. Don't you?" Sam asks. "No! I really AM a Canadian, Sam. Aboot!" Veronica yells. "Well can't you just marry someone from here so you can stay?" Krissy asks. "I can't. I'm still married to Peter and HE'S a Canadian." "Just get a divorce!" Melissa yells. "I will NOT become a divorced woman." Everyone starts to yell at her, and she yells "Alright alright alright! I'll divorce Peter and marry someone else." "But who?" Sam asks. Dean gasps. "I have an idea." "What?" He takes a piece of gum out of his pocket, opens it, and pops it into his mouth. He chews it for a good thirty seconds, takes it out of his mouth, and shapes it into a tiny ring. He gets down on one knee. "Spencer's Mom..." "My NAME is Veronica." "Whatever. Veronica, will you marry me?" Toby starts to play a romantic acoustic tune. Spencer looks at him. "I thought you LEFT!" "I came back." Sam and Spencer cringe. "No! Not Dean! ANYONE but him!" Sam yells. "Sure. Why not?" Veronica answers. "Oh God" Spencer says, going pale. "Well...I'm gonna go..." Jenna awkwardly states, before jumping out the window. She runs past Toby, he yells "See ya sis!" And she runs away. "Sammy, start calling me sis" Veronica smiles to him. "NOOO!" He shouts. "Hey...! Let's get you some ice cream. I bet that'll traumatize you less" Spencer tries to reassure him, before pulling him out of the room. They leave the house. "Krissy, I would love it if you could be a bridesmaid" Veronica says to her. "This is some Twilight Zone shit right here. I will NOT be apart of this." She answers. "We'll pay you." "Fine." "Can I plan the wedding?" Melissa asks. "No. You have terrible taste." Veronica tells her. "Can I perform?!" Toby smiles. "Sure." "Oh, so you'll let HIM sing but you won't let ME plan everything?!" Melissa snaps. "Yay!" Toby smiles. "Oh, I'm gonna go home and practice!" He plays a quick riff, before running off. "MOM! MOM!!! I'M GONNA BE A STAR!!!" They hear him shout. 

"I can't believe your Mom is going to be my sister in law. That would make us, like, cousins..." Sam tells Spencer as they sit on a bench at a local ice cream shop, ice cream cones in their hands. "Sam, I don't think that would make us cousins..." "Oh...well anyways I'm still traumatized." "Well look at it this way: when it happens, my mom won't be dragging me to Canada with her." "Yeah, that's true. But I'm kinda scared." "What do you mean?" "Look at what happened at the LAST wedding we were at." "Oh crap. Yeah. I forgot about that. But hey: whatever happens, we'll be fine. Wether Toby still says he's in love with me, or if your brother and my mom get married, we'll be okay. I mean, we've been through so much already." "Yeah. We have. And it's only been a couple of days." They chuckle, and Sam looks over, squinting at something in the distance. "Dad?" He asks. John comes running over, panting. "Son" he pants. "Dad?" He repeats. "I need...to know...did Spencer ever get her allergy shot? She canNOT be allergic to shellfish." "Why do you care about that so much-?" He takes out a giant needle, stabbing Spencer's arm with it. "Owe!" She yells. "There. Now I can sleep well again." "Oh. Good. For a second there I thought you found out that Dean and Veronica are getting married." "WHAT?! AAAAHHH...!" He runs all the way back to Mr. Owen's house. Sam and Spencer look at each other. "Uh oh...So how does it feel to know that you're suddenly a Canadian?"

"You CANNOT get married! You're only-how old are you?" John asks Dean at Mr. Owen's house, standing in the kitchen. Mary, Mr. Owens, Veronica, Krissy, and Melissa all sit at the kitchen table. "Dad, I'm eighteen" he answers. Sam and Spencer walk through the door. "And besides. The only reason I'm doing this is so that Veronica doesn't have to bring Spencer to Canada with her so that she and Sam can still be together." Sam smiles. "Really? Wow Dean! Thanks!" He smiles. "Well, AND so that Melissa and I can still continue being friends with benefits." His smile drops. "It was good while it lasted..." He says quietly. "Seriously? They're fourteen. It's not like they're gonna last, anyway." John says. "Hey! Do NOT doubt Samcer!" Dean yells to him. "Samcer...?" Sam asks him, as Spencer furrows her brow. "Yes. That's the ship name I came up for you guys because you two are MEANT TO BE TOGETHER." "I don't know if I should be really happy because my brother supports my relationship, or really creeped out..." Sam explains. "Mary, are you SERIOUSLY okay with this?!" John asks her. "Well, if Dean wants to do it-" "Yes. I want to do it. I've always wanted to have a bachelor party with lots of strippers." "Figures" Sam mutters. "Oh, I cannot WAIT until you guys have to go back to your own house," Owens sighs. "I'm still getting paid for being a bridesmaid, right?" Krissy asks. "Yes." "Good." "Can I PLEASE plan it?!" Melissa begs. "Fine." Veronica answers. "YAY!" "When will it be?" Sam asks. "Well, whenever the divorce is final between Peter and I-" Veronica starts to say, before she gets a text on her phone. "Ah, which is now. How about tonight? I wanna get this over with." "Tonight?! I can't plan a wedding by TONIGHT!" Melissa yells. "You may not be able to, but I can" Mary smiles, putting her hands on her hips like a superhero. "Call a stripper! I wanna have a bachelorette party" Veronica smiles. "Mary, invite Pam; you, Melissa, Krissy, and Spencer can also come." "I don't want to GO to my mom's own BACHELORETTE PARTY" Spencer says. "I will!" Melissa smiles. "I just want to go to the wedding" Spencer states. "Eh, kinda" she adds. "Be my date?" Sam asks her. She smiles at him. "Absolutely!" "Yeah, Sam, you're not invited." Veronica says. "What?! But Dean's my brother!" "I don't care. Do you want Spencer to stay in America or not? Spencer, your date will be-" "Don't say his name don't say his name don't say his name-"  
"Toby."  
"Good grief." 

"Let's get this party started!" Pam smiles, standing in Mr. Owens's living room. Veronica, Mary, Krissy, and Melissa are all sitting on the couch. Aria, Hanna, Emily, Spencer, and Jenna also came along. Pam turns on her boom box, a sexy version of Santa Clause Is Coming To Town starting to play. "Ho ho ho!" They hear a deep voice coming from up the chimney. Mary gasps. "It's the stripper!" She smiles. "Don't you mean...Santa?" Pam smiles. "A SANTA stripper?" Jenna asks, cringing. "It's Summer" Spencer says. "IT'S CHRISTMAS IN JULY!" Veronica shouts to her, making everyone flinch. "I'm SO lucky I'm blind" Aria says. "I'm glad you could make it, Aria!" Spencer smiles to her. "Thanks. If I could see then my parents wouldn't have let me come because of the stripper, but I can't see, so..."  
"Has somebody been a little ho ho ho?" The Santa stripper asks. "Yes, Santa, I have been!" Veronica smiles. Pam and Mary whoop, and the other girls all cringe. "Well prepare to be put down on my naughty list- AAAHHH!" Santa falls down the chimney, his sack of items falling on top of him. "Ouch..." "You know? I'm actually REALLY glad I came to this" Krissy smiles. "Aw, now I wish I could see!" Aria pouts. Santa gets up, picking up his sack. "Santa, what's in your sack?" Pam smiles. "Oh, you'll see" Santa smiles. He pours out a bunch of candy cane shaped dildos. The younger girls "Ewww." "I can't even see what's happening but I'm still grossed out!" Aria yells. "Who wants one?" Santa smiles. "I do!" Pam smiles. Emily cringes. "Sorry Santa Clause, but I'm a married woman." Mary answers. "Can you eat it?" Hanna asks. "Your pussy can," Santa answers. "I don't need a dildo to pleasure me. That's what my step brother's for." Jenna says. "I'm a lesbian." Emily answers. "I'm innocent...!" Spencer yells. "I'm blind! If I attempt to shove THAT, up THERE, with no eyesight, then something could go TERRIBLY wrong." Aria says. "And how about you, Krissy?" Santa holds one out to her. "Uh, sorry, but I don't want a CANDY CANE JOY STICK, TO MURDER MY VAGINA!" Krissy yells. "Wait...how do you know her name...?" Hanna asks. They all stare at Santa. "Uhh..Merry Christmas?"  
Krissy tears off his beard.  
"JEFF?!" The younger girls all ask. "Who's he?!" Mary asks.  
"Since when are you a STRIPPER?!" Jenna asks him. "Oh, I got fired from my pizza job, okay?! So I had to become a stripper."  
"How do you get fired from delivering pizzas?" Asks Aria.  
"I forgot one guys drink. He started yelling at me, and I got so angry that I shoved the pizza in his face."  
"Well why a STRIPPER?" Jenna asks. "Because I wasn't qualified for anything else!" He whines. "Well get OUT!" Krissy yells, pointing to the chimney. "No! Not yet! He hasn't danced yet!" Veronica says. "Mom!" Spencer yells. "What?" She challenges. Spencer sighs. "Well, if you insist" Jeff smiles, putting his beard back on. The girls cringe. He starts doing the cha cha slide, and the Mom's whoop. He takes off his hat, throwing it to Veronica. She giggles. He trips over his own to feet, yelling "WHOA!" And falling back into the fireplace. "Owe..." Krissy grins. "Are you okay?!" Mary asks. "GET UP!" Veronica demands. Aria leans against the wall, causing the fireplace to turn on. "AAAAHHHH...!" Jeff screams, his entire body now on fire. Mary gasps. "Holy moly!" Pam cries out. "Now THIS is what I call a show!" Krissy smiles. "Turn it off!" Spencer yells. "Oops" Aria says, standing up straight and turning off the fireplace. Jeff pants, just laying there. "Santa...?" Mary asks.  
Five minutes later, paramedics push Jeff out on a gurney, as he moans in pain. The moms and girls all awkwardly watch. "A SANTA stripper?" One paramedic whispers to Veronica. "Oh, fuck off." She tells him. They roll Jeff out of the house, and the ambulance is heard driving off. "Well that went terribly awful." Pam states. "I thought the part where he almost burned to death was HIGHLY entertaining." Krissy states. "I wonder how Dean's bachelor party is going," Mary wonders.  
At Toby's house, Sam, Dean, John, Mr Owens, and Toby all awkwardly standing in his living room. "We just HAD to have this at HIS house?!" Sam yells. "Well OUR house got burned down because of SOMEBODY-" Dean glares at him. "So this was our only choice." "I don't even know why I'm here. I'm asexual as fuck." Mr. Owens states. "Then why ARE you here?" Sam asks him. "I get bored." Owens answers. "Well, in case you guys haven't noticed, I am NOT asexual. In fact, I'm the exact OPPOSITE. So BRING ON THE STRIPPERS!" Dean yells. There's a knock on the door. "Ooh! She's here!" Dean smiles. "Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!" Toby squeals, jumping up and down. "Dad, do you think Spencer will get mad at me if I witness another female sexually embracing her body?" Sam asks John. "Son, at the rate you're going at, this is most likely the only sexual experience you'll have until a few years, besides exploring yourself at summer camp at midnight trying to keep quiet so your other camp mates don't wake up." "What?" "Nothing, nothing."  
Dean runs over and opens the door. "Hey there, big boy." The stripper smiles to him. "Hey beautiful. C'mon in. Let's get this party started." She walks in the house, setting her boombox down. "Hey boys" she flirtatiously smiles to the other men. "Hi..." They awkwardly answer. Best Friend's Brother by Victoria Justice starts to play on her boombox. Toby squeaks in excitement. "Kill me, Jesus" Mr. Owens breathes, rolling his eyes. She starts to dance, and Toby starts to cry tears of joy. Mr. Owens starts to play a game on his phone. John starts to bob his head to the music. Sam starts to desperately pray for forgiveness in the corner of the room. Dean is about to grind against her, when she notices that Mr. Owens isn't cooperating one bit, and turns off her boombox. Toby and Dean stare at her. "Uhh, you're not done yet." Dean tells her. "I'm not even fully hard!" He adds. "Well THAT'S insulting!" She yells to him. "Why'd you stop?!" He yells. "Because HE is not cooperating." She points to Mr. Owens. He looks at her. "So? You're here for THAT moron-" he points to Dean. "Not me. I'm asexual." "Well hun, I'm about to make you ASS-sexual." She tells him, turning her boombox back on, the song resuming. She attempts to dance on him, but he pushes her away and says "Get OFF me, bitch; go fuck your best friend's brother!" "Sam become her best friend!" Dean yells to him. "No!" He yells back, still sitting in the corner. "I'm talking to Jesus." "Well tell him to kill me." Says Owens. Sam gasps in shock. "You know what? Fuck this shit. I'm outta here. That'll be two hundred dollars." "Listen here, lady. This isn't that hysterical Friends episode with Danny Devito, if that's what you're thinking. If you want your money, you're gonna have to dance!" He demands. Her cellphone rings, and she sighs, taking it out of her pocket. "What, Damien." Dean and Sam stare at her. "Feed him the tuna, then. I'm in the middle of a job. Ever since I got fired from that stupid spa for having another breakdown, I had to become a stripper."  
"Okay. Mommy loves you too. Read your bible verses, faggot. Bye." She hangs up.  
"You're DAMIEN'S Mom?!" Sam asks. She gawks. "Oh God; you're not the brothers of that annoying KRISSY girl, are you?" "Yes! We are!" Dean yells to her. "Ugh. Well whatever. I tried to kill that Mona girl, but her neighbor said she went out of town for a couple days. But I'll just wait until she gets back." They all stare at her. "I just care about Damien so much! We have major financial issues and it's just...so hard..." She starts to cry. The men all feel symphony towards her. "You know what? How about you...come to the wedding tonight." Dean tells her. "Really?" She smiles. Toby squeals again. "Yeah! I mean, it's the least we can do, right guys?" He asks everyone else. They mutter in slight agreement. "Oh, thank you! This means so much to me! Can I bring Damien?" She asks. "Uh, it would be best if Damien DIDN'T come. Krissy might start a scene..." He tells her. "Fair enough. He ruins every special event we go to, anyway." "So, lemme get this straight. I can't go to the wedding, but SHE can?!" Sam yells. "Sam, quit complaining and be happy." Dean snaps to him. "Good grief," he mutters. 

"Are you ready, Veronica?" Mary asks in Mr. Owens's bathroom, she and Pam putting Veronica's makeup on in front of the mirror. The wedding will be held in his backyard. "Let's just get this over with." She says glumly. "Oh, you're gonna be my daughter in law!" Mary smiles. "That is REALLY creepy." Pam states. There's a bang on the door. "In a second!" Mary calls out. "No! I gotta pee!" Dean yells, rushing into the room. Veronica shrieks, the other women gasping. "You're not supposed to see me before the wedding, you fucking idiot!" Veronica yells to him. "Don't MAKE me piss on you." Dean threatens. "Dean! Don't be so rude!" Mary scolds. "I just...I just can't believe my little boy is getting married." She starts to cry, and wipes her tears with a random tissue she pulls up out of nowhere. "Dean, I love you so much. More than any other woman could love you. You're my son, and I will ALWAYS be your mother and look after you. You may be eighteen, but that doesn't mean I've stopped raising you. I love you, Dean."  
"Yeah, I gotta pee." Is all he responds. The women leave, as Mary flips him off.  
Veronica finishes texting on her phone, as she walks down the aisle in her wedding dress, in Mr. Owens backyard, twenty minutes later. Mary, John, Pam, Emily, Hanna, her parents, Aria, Mike, their parents, Melissa, Spencer, Toby, Jenna, Damien's Mom, and Mr. Owens, all crowd to the right of the ceremony. Veronica brings her phone down once she gets to Dean, and notices he's playing a game on his phone. Krissy stands in a white dress, as their bridesmaid, fuming. The preacher awkwardly stands next to her "I can't believe you guys planned a wedding in six hours" Spencer whispers to Melissa and Mary. "Believe me. We ALL wanted to get this over with." Melissa whispers back. Loud raunchy porn starts to play on Dean's phone, and everyone gasps. "Shit. Sorry." He says, stopping the video and putting his phone in his pocket. "Dearly beloved," the preacher starts. "Yeah yeah can we just get married already?" Veronica asks. "Oh...uh...okay...then I now pronounce you man and wife, I guess..." Dean grabs Veronica and kisses her, everyone else making disgusted noises and looking away. Except for Aria.  
"Want to dance, my love?" Toby asks Spencer at the reception being held in the same location. "Please don't call me that..." She says. John and Mary dance together, along with Dean and Veronica, Damien's Mom, Aria Hanna and Emily, their families, and Jenna. Krissy and Mr. Owens glumly stand at the drink table together. "Would you like me to get you a drink?" Toby smiles. "Oh, uh, sure! Any soda's fine. Thanks." "Ice or no ice?" "Ice, thanks." "I'll surprise you" he says slyly, smirking. She frowns, and he walks away. Sam-disguised in a bear suit-slowly pops up behind her. "Spencer." He whispers.  
"Psss. Spencer." She looks behind her, and jumps. "It's me." "SAM?" She whispers. "Yeah. I had to be here to make sure you were okay." "Aw, that's so sweet. Thank you, Sammy. But one question: why are you in a bear suit?" "I had to disguise myself. And this was all I could afford at the costume shop." "Oh. Well you make a cute bear." "Aw, thanks!" He says. She smiles. "Hey Spencer!" Toby smiles, walking back to her with her drink. "I got you ice. Surprise!" He smiles. "Toby, I wanted ice in the first place..." She says. "Here!" He gives it to her. "Who's the bear?" He asks. Sam freezes. "Uh...this is the...mascot...for the wedding..." Spencer lies. Sam rapidly nods. "Ooh. There's a MASCOT for the wedding? That's so cool!" Toby smiles. "How ya doin' Mr. Bear?" He smiles to Sam. He continues to stay silent. "Uhh he prefers to stay mute." Says Spencer. "Oh okay. Well-" he looks over. "Who's that?" "Who's who?" Spencer asks. "Him." Toby points over. Spencer's eyes widen. "DAMIEN?" She asks. Sam starts to growl. "Hey, he's talking!" Toby smiles. Krissy spits out her drink. "What the hell are YOU doing here?!" She asks him. "Damien! I told you to stay in the car." His Mom tells him. "Oh, but I got so lonely!" He cries. "Ughhhh get OUT of here!" Krissy screams. "Krissy, calm down." Dean says. "No! He's a tool!" Krissy yells. "DON'T you talk about my son like that." Damien's Mom tells her. "Try not to have another melt down, bitch." She snaps. Everyone else gasps. "You called my mama the B word!" He cries. "Krissy, that's enough. I'm so sorry." Mary apologizes to her. "Sorry you raised such a crappy daughter," she says to her. "EXCUSE ME?!" "Honey, keep calm," John tells her, stroking her back. "Fight! Fight! Fight!" Toby starts to chant. "No!" Sam and Spencer yell to him together. Krissy screams, about to attack the woman, when Sam jumps on top of Toby, sending them to the ground. Everyone looks over. It's silent. "Get off me!" Toby yells. "Alright! Who invited the bear?!" Melissa yells. "I did NOT plan this." "Um, because I did! Surprise!" Spencer yells. "What?" Everyone else asks, besides Sam who's staying mute. He gets off of Toby and stands up. "Everyone, presenting the wedding mascot!" Spencer nervously announces. Gonna Make You Sweat starts to play over the speakers, and Sam starts to do the robot. "Boooo" Krissy yells, along with half of the guests. John throws his cup at Sam, causing him to fall over, and hit the floor. The music stops. "Who IS this freak?" Jenna asks. Krissy walks over to him. Sam starts to growl in defense, but she takes the bear head off. "SAM?" "YOU were not invited!" Veronica yells. He stands up. "I don't care! I WANT to be with Spencer!" The guests "Awwwwww." "That is so romantic. Get out." Says Veronica. "What?!" Sam asks.  
"If you stay at this wedding, then I am bringing Spencer and Melissa to Canada with me RIGHT NOW!" Veronica threatens. "Not so fast!" Someone yells. Mona Vanderwal steps forward into the view, holding an open laptop. "Ah!! My ex girlfriend! This is too painful" Mike says. "I'll be in the car." He runs away. "It says HERE on ancestory.com, that the Hastings family is from AMERICA" Mona harshly states, frowning. People gasp. Everyone stares at Veronica. "Dammit!" She whispers. "If you're not from Canada then why the hell are we MARRIED?!" Dean yells to her. "Yeah! You hate us!" Sam adds. "And DON'T say you were bored" Krissy calls out. Veronica huffs. "Guys, I don't want to be a divorced woman. I must ALWAYS stay married to SOMEONE!" "Well why ME?!" Dean asks, cringing. "Because you're easiest to fool." "Mommy! That's the girl who broke my heart!" Damien cries, pointing to Mona. "GAHHHHH!!!" His Mom screams, charging towards her. Mona screeches, dropping the computer. She runs away, Damien's Mom running after her. "Should we help them...?" Sam asks. Ambulance sirens are heard. "Nah." "So can I stay?" Sam asks Veronica. "Fine."  
"Let the party continue!" Dean smiles, resuming the music. Everyone cheers, and starts to dance. 

"Good news, family!" Mary smiles to John, Krissy and the boys the next morning in Owens' kitchen.  
"We're rich?!" Dean yells.  
"No, but-"  
"Aw, that sucks. You and Dad should get better jobs." He interrupts. Krissy snickers. "Dean!" Sam yells.  
"What I'm just sayin'...!"  
"They rebuilt our house early!" Mary smiles.  
"Really?!" The rest of the family smiles. Mr. Owens lets out a sigh of relief. "My prayers have been answered," he breathes.  
"Mr. Owens, what religion are you apart of?" Sam asks for the second time.  
"That's none of your goddamn motherfucking business" Owens repeats the same answer.  
"Okay..."  
"So we have to go back to that shithole?" Krissy asks. "Krissy! Do not talk about our beloved house like that!" Mary scolds.  
"Eh, she's not wrong." Dean says.  
Sam supportively nods.  
"I like Mr. Owens' house better." Dean states. Krissy and Sam agree.  
Mary and John gasp.  
"Yeah! He has those cute little knick knacks on his fireplace mantel," Sam starts.  
"AND his house automatically repairs itself." Dean adds.  
"We are going home and that is final!" John yells, stomping his foot. 

Mary unlocks the front door, she and her family standing on the porch of their rebuilt home. She opens the door, and they start to walk in. "Welcome home-!" She smiles, before they all freeze in shock. Her smile drops. After a few seconds of silence, Sam asks "Mom...?" "Where's all our stuff?!" Dean yells. "Do you think I know the answer to that, Dean?!" Mary shouts in frustration. "Those punks that rebuilt our house stole everything!" Krissy yells. "I'll get my gun" John sternly states. "Dad, they probably stole your gun..." Sam tells him. "Oh..." "Well we still have our old stuff that we packed to bring to Mr. Owens' house..." Sam states.  
"Speaking of him, can we go back to HIS place?" Dean asks. "No!" John and Mary yell together. "We're just going to have to work with what we have, for now." Mary states. "But what about food?!" The kids yell. "You know what THAT means...!" Mary smiles, swinging his arm. "We're gonna have to eat each other?! I call eating Sam!" Dean yells. "What?!" Sam asks. "Family shopping trip!" Mary smiles.  
"I'd rather be eaten by Dean..." Sam states. 

"Dean! Quit eating all the free samples!" Mary scolds, sharply pointing to him in Harris Teeter ten minutes later. "I'm hungry!" Dean defends, spitting a speck of turkey on Mary's face. She gawks, wiping it off. "I'm gonna go look at the magazines" Krissy states in a bored tone, walking off. "Bring me back a porno one!" Dean yells out to her.  
Krissy walks into the magazine section, noticing a girl reading Seventeen, with Sasha Pieterse on the front. "Is that this month's issue?" Krissy asks her. The girl brings down the magazine. "Alison? What the hell are YOU doing here?!" Krissy yells. "What the fuck do you THINK I'm doing here?" Ali snaps. "And for information, yes. This IS this month's issue." She adds. "Sweet. I love Sasha Pieterse. She's beautiful." "I know right! People say I look just like her." "In that case, maybe she's NOT so beautiful..." Krissy awkwardly says. Ali gawks. "I would stay here with you, but I'd rather go back to shopping with my family. And that's saying a LOT." She tells her, before returning back to them.  
"Where's my porno mag?" Dean asks her. "I didn't get one. ALISON'S here. Krissy irritably states. "What?!" Sam and Dean yell.  
"Oh, crap" Sam worriedly says.  
"Kids! Let's look in the magazine section real quick. Mommy wants to get a house decor magazine since, ya know, all our stuff got taken" Mary says, she and John walking up to them. "But that's where Alison is!" Krissy cries. Mary sighs. "Fine. You guys can go somewhere else IN THE STORE. But STAY together. Let's go, Johnny." She pulls him away.  
"I want a giant box of twinkies" Dean states, he and his other siblings walking through the store together. "Well 'I' want some more foundation" states Krissy.  
"I want the next Guardian's Of The Hunger Maze book!" Sam smiles.  
"Let's just get Krissy's girly crap over with" Dean says. She frowns.

"What do you think guys. This foundation, or THIS foundation?" Krissy asks her brothers in the beauty aisle, pointing to two different foundation bottles on one of the shelves.  
"We don't care" they answer together. Out of all people, Alison walks into the aisle, and freezes at the sight of them. "Oh, for the love of-" she groans, before they notice her. They frown. Krissy instantly chooses a foundation bottle, and tells her brothers "Let's GO, guys." Purposely glaring at Alison. As they walk past her, Krissy purposely shoves past her. "Oops. Sorry."  
"Bitch did you just shove me?" Alison asks.  
"Bitch I think I just did," Krissy snaps.  
"Guys, stop it" Sam tells them. Ali shoves her into a shelf, causing it to slowly tip over, and fall down. Krissy gasps. The shelf falls onto the shelf behind it, and they all fall down like dominos. Mary's about to grab a box of cheese its, before the shelf falls down on top of her. "Mary!" John yells, running over to her and throwing the shelf off of her. He stands her up. "Are the cheese its okay?!"  
She slaps his face. "OWE!"  
The Winchesters, and Alison, got banned from the store.  
The only things they had bought from the store were pillows, sleeping bags, shampoo, cheese its, trail mix, and bananas. 

"Just a few more steps" Dean tells her, as he and Sam guide her into the house, for she's too sore to walk by herself.  
They enter the house, and set up the sleeping bags.  
"Want some trail mix and a bananna?" Sam asks her.  
"No" she snaps.  
"Oh, come on, Mom. Cheer up! So what if all of our furniture is gone, we're banned from the store, and you're partially crippled. Your birthday is tomorrow! Aren't you turning, like, sixty?" Dean asks her. John, Krissy, and Sam all face palm.  
"I'M TURNING FORTY FOUR!" She shouts to him.  
"That's what I meant...!" He nervously defends.  
The next morning, Sam, Dean, Krissy, John, Spencer, Emily and Hanna all surprise Mary with breakfast in bed. Or in their case, sleeping bag.  
"Oh, thank you guys so much!" She smiles to them, taking a bite out of her pancakes, as she rests in her sleeping bag.  
"Of course, Mom. I know this isn't the birthday you expected, but we're just glad we can all be here with you" Krissy tells her.  
"These pancakes are delicious!" She chirps, taking another bite. "Hanna's Mom has this amazing recipe" Emily smiles. "Oh, dear, do you think she can lend it to me?" Mary asks her. Hanna stares into space, not listening. "Hanna?" Sam asks. "Sorry, what?" She asks, snapping out of her thoughts. "Hanna's daydreaming again" Spencer teases her, as Emily giggles. "About what?" Dean asks.  
"Hanna's crushing on this new guy" Emily states. "Caleb." "I don't like him THAT much" Hanna defends, before a bunch of pictures of him fall out of her purse. "He's cute!" Spencer suggests. "He would never like me, though" Hanna says. "Han', don't say that" Spencer says. "Is Aria coming?" Emily asks. "Ooh. Yeah. She called me saying she was on her way. She said she has a surprise for all of us.  
There's a knock on the door. Krissy answers it. "Hey!" She greets Aria, before noticing a dog perched next to her on the porch.  
Krissy gasps. "You got a gaurd dog!" She smiles. "Yup!" Aria smiles, walking into the house, her dog smiling. "His name's Dustin. I got him last night."  
Everyone starts to focus on Dustin, and Aria smiles "Happy birthday, Mary!" Putting her hand on Sam's shoulder. "I'm Sam."  
"Oh. Ew." She takes her hand off his shoulder, and he frowns. "He's so cute!" Spencer smiles, petting Dustin as he licks her palm. "Thanks Spence'" Sam smiles.  
"I was talking about the dog. But you're cute too..."  
"Oh..."  
Dustin stares straight into Sam's eyes, standing completely still.  
"Uh...he's staring at me..." Sam tells them.  
"That means he likes you!" Aria smiles.  
He starts to growl. Sam's eyes widen. "Um..."  
Dustin starts barking, and chases Sam into another room. He screams. "Help!!!" He yells.  
"Don't worry Sammy! I'm coming!" Aria announces, putting her hand in the air in justice.  
She starts to run in the direction where Dustin's treating Sam like a chew toy, but due to her lack of eye sight, she trips and falls. "Owe!"  
Dean awkwardly looks at Mary.  
"Happy birthday...!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love writing this so much.


End file.
